RSS

Author Archives: jp

TONIGHT: BINGO • TOMORROW: Princess Castles • Feb 23rd/24th, 2016

February 23

mic_drop

TONIGHT! BINGO IS HERE!!! • 8 to 10pm • Akbarrrrr!!!! High-rollin’ lucky chances at WINNING BIG! GET IT!!!

Then it’s Wednesday Feb 24th, 2016 from 9pm until midnight (or later) at Akbar, it’s CRAFTNIGHT!!!
Project: OMG PRINCESS CASTLES OMG YOU DESERVE IT!!!!  
$3 Processing fee, please
$4 Drink Specials at Akbar: A Little Dab’ll do Ya 

ERMAGERD PRINCESS CASTLES!!!!

We have a special craft kit with pink and purple pieces that form a beautiful sparkly, shiny, charming, appealing FORTRESS for you to rule forever and ever because YOU are a princess. That’s right, you.

Here are signifiers of your princess life:

•   Whatever you’re wearing is what everyone wants.
•   You do activities for the photo ops (Kissing cheeks, cutting ribbons in front of new buildings, handing giant oversized checks to people, christening new boats.)
•   You don’t go to the salon, the salon comes to you.
•   ANY and ALL imperfections in your mattress make it very difficult for you to sleep.
•   You know that tiaras are the shit. They just are.
•   Tiny Floofy pets that you don’t have to groom surround you at all times.
•   You once saved your sister from getting pierced int he heart with an ice shard.
•   The 32 yards of ebullient tresses of hair on your head takes forever to dry after a shower.
•   None of your skills, grace, or benevolence was learned, it is simply your birthright.
•   Woodland creatures just want to be around you, they follow you around and help you with your princess chores.
•   Waving at people is part of the job (elbow, elbow, wrist-wrist-wrist… repeat)

This is the most sovereign craft we’ve ever attempted, arrive and receive the royal treatment from us this Wednesday!

See you at the Craft Table!

JP Craft Captain

COMING UP:  
March 4th – Adorable Finger Puppets
March 9th – Metal Leaf Kit
March 16th – Clothespin Leprechaun
March 23rd – Easter Baskets (and a special visit from the CraftNight Easter Bunny!)
March 30th – Pet Rocks! Rockin’ all Night Long!

 

Posted by on February 23, 2016 in Assembly Craft

Comments Off on TONIGHT: BINGO • TOMORROW: Princess Castles • Feb 23rd/24th, 2016

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Chinese New Year Craft! • Feb 17th, 2016

February 17

 

monkey_paints

TONIGHT! Wednesday Feb 17th, 2016 from 9pm until midnight (or later) at Akbar, it’s CRAFTNIGHT!!!
Project: NEON MONKEY DOOR HANGAR in honor of CHINESE NEW YEAR!!! 
$3 Processing fee, please
$4 Drink Specials at Akbar: At the Corner of Sassy and Crassy 

Apparently, the year of the monkey throws everything into flux, and anything can happen. It’s a lightening fast-paced year with fiery motivation and fantastical feats of individual expression!

So I thought we’d make neon monkey door hangers.

You can think about the doors you want to open this year and walk right through them!

I know it’s rainy, but that never stopped a monkey. Come on in!

See you at the Craft Table!

JP Craft Captain

COMING UP:  

February 24th – Princess Ice Castles
March 4th – Adorable Finger Puppets

TUESDAY February 23rd BINGO: Tuesday 8pm to 10pm it’s Bet Yer Bottom Bingo the night of fast and loose chances in your favorite bar with knock-out prizes and big bottles of booze! Boys, Girls, Balls, and that winning feeling!

 

Posted by on February 17, 2016 in Assembly Craft

Comments Off on Chinese New Year Craft! • Feb 17th, 2016

Tags: , , , , ,

Annual CraftNight LOVE-IN • Feb 10th, 2016

February 08

love_kitten_2016

This Wednesday, Feb 10th, 2016 from 9pm until midnight (or later) at Akbar, it’s CRAFTNIGHT!!!
Project: CRAFTNIGHT LOVE-IN VALENTINE-O-RAMA!!!! 
$3 Processing fee, please
$4 Drink Specials at Akbar: Life without passion is unforgivable. 

****PHANTOM OF THE PARADISE SHOWING ON THE AKBAR MEGATRON!!!****
• Valentine Scrap-Craft-O-Rama Craft Smorgasbord!
• RAFFLE (prize baskets o fun!)
• “Phantom of the Paradise” film on the Akbar Jumbotron!
• GUARANTEED Valentine from your Craft Captain!
• LIMITED EDITION magnet BADGE (while supplies last!)
• SNACKS! (Sweet and Savory) 

With all of the choices in the world, all of the people to meet, all of the emails to read and ignore, all of the things to do in the big city, the choice is usually to make no choice and take potshots at everything because daring to make something of your own will merely meet with scrutiny and everyone’s callous, spoiled, stagnated, bloviating naval-gazing critiques. Well no more of that, it’s time to kick fear in the teeth this week with LOVE!

I’m reaching out of this monitor, grabbing you by the MIND and asking you some some goddamn questions:

• WHAT ARE THE QUESTIONS DRIVING YOU IN THE MOMENT?

• ON THE SMALLEST POSSIBLE LEVEL, WHAT CAN YOU DO TO MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE?

• DO YOU BELIEVE IN ENERGETIC RECIPROCITY?

• HOW DO YOU LOVE?

We’re building a world where you can ask these questions with glue, glitter, pens, paper, and valentines.

Visit us to receive your valentine bag, write your name on it, and put it on the ledge. Note the other bags on the ledge, and make valentines for those people you don’t know. Take a risk, have something to talk about in the locker room, make a thing, be a choice, love your humans, we’re all we’ve got.

Also, in case your heart is broken or you’re just feeling misanthropic, ignore everyone and find a dark corner, come and drink your feelings while watching Phantom of the Paradise! This film is director, Brian de Palma’s ONLY musical, and it stars the legendary Paul Williams in all of his flowy blonde-haired glory! Witness this cautionary tale of stolen and perverted artistry, lost love, and Faustian bargains!

See you at the Craft Table!

JP Craft Captain

COMING UP:    

ANNUAL CRAFTNIGHT LOVE-IN!!!!
Ohhhhh the LOVE-IN!!! • Featuring the RAFFLE SURPRISE BASKETS • “Phantom of the Paradise” on the Akbar Jumbotron • Snacks • Limited edition magnet badge • Guaranteed Valentine from your Craft Captain • Music • Romance • Bromance • Sisters • Sinners • Love and all of its complicated meanings and feelings

craftnight_lovein_2016

February 17th – Chinese New Year Neon Monkey Door Hangers
February 24th – Princess Ice Castles
March 4th – Adorable Finger Puppets

TUESDAY February 23rd BINGO: Tuesday 8pm to 10pm it’s Bet Yer Bottom Bingo the night of fast and loose chances in your favorite bar with knock-out prizes and big bottles of booze! Boys, Girls, Balls, and that winning feeling!

 

Posted by on February 8, 2016 in Collage Craft, Freeform Craft, Multi-Variety Craft

Comments Off on Annual CraftNight LOVE-IN • Feb 10th, 2016

Tags: , , , , ,

Mardi Gras Disguises • Feb 3rd, 2016

February 03

frooty

TONIGHT! Wednesday, Feb 3rd, 2016 from 9pm until midnight (or later) at Akbar, it’s CRAFTNIGHT!!!
Project: Mardis Gras Masks 
$3 Processing fee, please
$4 Drink Specials at Akbar: The Only Way to Fly 

We want you to be prepared for Mardi Gras, which is why we’ve got some clever disguises for you. Wear one of these DIY masks, and next day, your boss can’t accuse you of being the one in the middle of the fray, shaking your moneymaker, showing your bits and drinking with abandon. Paint and decorate it any way you wish, and then get out there, explore the world as another being, as someone or something else, unhindered by the confines of your regular identity.

Because with the disguise you wear, you are free, and no one can tell who you are, or what your job is, or what you love, or how you do your life, or what you’ve got in your wallet. There will be contrition and regret at times, but Fat Tuesday is not one of them. Fat Tuesday is for yelling “F*CK YOOOO!!!!” as loud as possible when they tell you to get off the table. Fat Tuesday is for eating ALL the donuts and being goddamn proud of it.

Mardi Gras is the largest masked party in North America, we don’t want you to miss it. Wear your mask for ritual, for celebration, for the love of art and pageantry and showing off. Wear your mask in order to overturn conventions with style.

See you at the Craft Table!

JP Craft Captain

COMING UP:    

***February 10th CRAFTNIGHT – ANNUAL CRAFTNIGHT LOVE-IN!!!!
Ohhhhh the LOVE-IN!!! • Featuring the LOVE RAFFLE SURPRISE BASKETS • “Phantom of the Paradise” on the Akbar Jumbotron • Snacks • Limited edition magnet badge • Guaranteed Valentine from your Craft Captain • Music • Romance • Bromance • Sisters • Sinners • Love and all of its complicated meanings and feelings

craftnight_lovein_2016

February 17th – Chinese New Year Neon Monkey Door Hangers
February 24th – Princess Ice Castles
March 4th – Adorable Finger Puppets

TUESDAY February 23rd BINGO: Tuesday 8pm to 10pm it’s Bet Yer Bottom Bingo the night of fast and loose chances in your favorite bar with knock-out prizes and big bottles of booze! Boys, Girls, Balls, and that winning feeling!

 

Posted by on February 3, 2016 in Messy Craft, Painting Craft, Wearable Craft

Comments Off on Mardi Gras Disguises • Feb 3rd, 2016

Tags: , , , , , ,

Groundhog Day Paper Dolls • January 27th, 2016

January 23

corrugated_bliss

This Tuesday it’s BET YER BOTTOM BINGO (read further below for details)
This Wednesday, Jan 20th, 2015 from 9pm until midnight (or later) at Akbar, it’s CRAFTNIGHT!!!
Project: Magnets 
$3 Processing fee, please
$4 Drink Specials at Akbar: America’s World Class Cocktail 

Groundhog Day is almost upon us, are you ready? Did you order enough baby carrots? Do you have the dip ready? Will there be enough chairs? All of the banks are going to close, the grocery stores are going to close early, it’s a madhouse throughout the city as everyone scrambles for the big day.

We will be ready with some special Groundhog-themed treats (involving Oreos ground into dirt, no less) and we will have Groundhog paper dolls that you color and then cut out and stand up for display purposes. Adult coloring books are all the rage right now, so why not sit down with some pens and crayons and color inside OR outside the lines to make your own very unique Groundhog standee? We have everything you need for blowing off steam, we have cocktails, we have music, we have weird stuff playing on the Akbar jumbo-tron, we’ve got people you’ve yet to meet, we’ve got drinks, and we have this little project. Everything is designed for you to de-stress, unwind and sink yourself into a little haven of joy and ease.

Don’t listen to the purists, who think that coloring stuff isn’t making art, those people are just pissed that they didn’t invent coloring themselves. They should probably relax. Coloring is a meditative process, and the act of spacing out is very creative. When you color, you’re giving your brain the mental equivalent of a playground, a big space to run around in and be free. I think coloring in a Groundhog paper doll is doubly relaxing, because these are creatures that know how to SLEEP. Groundhogs know how to relax. If only those weird guys in Punxatawney would stop DIGGING up the groundhogs to see if they’re making shadows!

I was born on Groundhog Day. If you aren’t busy and wish to come in and give me a hug for turning a year older, I certainly won’t stop you.

See you at the Craft Table!

JP Craft Captain

HERE ARE THE HAPPENINGS!   

JAN_bingo_2016

THIS TUESDAY January 26th BINGO: Tuesday 8pm to 10pm it’s Bet Yer Bottom Bingo with the big bad prizes you’ve come to love us for, so come on in and try your luck with booze, girls, boys, balls, it’s the best in neighborhood gay bar gambling!
**February 3rd CRAFTNIGHT – Mardis Gras Disguises
***February 10th CRAFTNIGHT – ANNUAL CRAFTNIGHT LOVE-IN!!!!
Ohhhhh the LOVE-IN!!! • Featuring the LOVE RAFFLE (Mad mad prize baskets), Valentine Snacks, Cute Friends, Hot Strangers and MORE!

craftnight_lovein_2016

 

 

 

 

Posted by on January 23, 2016 in Collage Craft, Coloring Craft

Comments Off on Groundhog Day Paper Dolls • January 27th, 2016

Tags: , , , ,

← Older posts
Newer posts →