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This Wednesday, February 12th, 2014 from 9pm to 1:30am at Akbar, it’s CRAFTNIGHT!!!
Project: Valentine Party LOVE IN!!! 
$2 Donation, por favor
$4 DRINK SPECIAL!!! >>> Show some sass, put a Lyla in your glass! 

TATER TOTS • CRAFTNIGHT ROBOT • TREATS • AKBAR JUMBOTRON • LOVE! 

CraftNight believes in embracing both the delight and dread that comes with Valentines Day, so if you want to give and receive cards that are racy, crazy, lovely, smarmy, tacky, fancy, etc. you will find EVERYTHING YOU NEED to make what you want, exploring every sentiment you have. This is a DELUXE CraftNight, consider unlocking this achievement, it’s not to be missed.

See you at the Craft Table,

JP

It’s now time for my yearly diatribe about Valentine’s Day, as I am a lifelong Romance Activist. Feel free to read or skip, there’s also a list of stuff happening in LA at the bottom.

Every year I get to hear about how much people hate valentine’s day and every year, I roll my eyes and fall on the floor BORED TO DEATH. Oh the excuses!
“I hate Valentines Day Because”

• Never had a valentine
• Just a Corporate scheme
• New relationship, don’t want valentines day to “mean” something
• Price of Roses  = Highway robbery
• Too much pink
• Valentines Day is every day, traditions are dumb

blah blah BLAHHHHHHH!!!! 

If you’re going to hate Valentine’s Day, consider avoidance of hating it in the cliché way (drinking with single friends by self, doing nothing at all, eating ALL the chocolate and crying by yourself, proudly criticizing all the tackiness and shoddy merchandise on the shelves) If you’re gonna hate, hate WELL, and hate inventively.

1. In protest of Valentines Day, take a vow of silence, and do not talk to or interact with your partner (or anyone else!) for 24 hours.
2. Get wasted, call every ex you’ve ever had and make fart sounds into their answering machines, OR live, should they pick up.
3. Purchase heart-shaped piñata, fill with packets of JELL-O pudding, invite friends to smash.
4. Drive to LA’s most romantic make-out vistas (Griffith Park Observatory, Mulholland Drive, Beachwood Canyon Overlook, etc.) blast Peter Cetera really loudly, and throw those chalky valentine candies at people trying to kiss.
5. Wear only a thong and give unwanted hugs at an advanced film premiere of “Winter’s Tale” 

“Valentines Day should be every day” who are we kidding, it’s not, it’s just not. It’s not sustainable, because laundry, life chores, etc. and you kind of have to get back to everyday maintenance, valentine or no valentine. But there is always room for practicing bits of generosity when you can find the time, so if you’re not totally anti-Valentine’s Day, this holiday is still useful for taking the time to plant new and surprising varietals of kindness:

1. SELF – I know I know, Calgon take me away but c’mon! Treat yourself to a 3 Terrabyte hard drive, buy the fancy bougie artisan salt you’ll never let yourself have, start that weird project you’ve got in your back pocket, buy the shoes, visit the salon, try some “tough love” and do the difficult things you don’t like doing but are essentially good for you (taxes, health insurance, budgeting, other paperwork).
2. FRIENDS/FAM – Call the old friend who is gonna love hearing your voice, send Grandma a hand-written letter, recognize the sacrifice and love it took your caretaker or parent to give when you were a junior-high brat, babysit for some parents who could use a night out, mop the floor even if it’s not your turn, remind your mentor/role model how they inspire you, surprise your neighbor with a rhyming card and a package of energy-saving lightbulbs.
3. FOR KIDS – OMG The Lego Movie even if you hate stuff like that take your friends kids who are hyperventilating every time they see the poster, show your nieces and nephews how to properly roll down a grassy hill, instill lasagna making skills in every 8 year old you meet, make ’em a valentine’s day scavenger hunt.
4. PETS – Take dog to water feature or off-leash park/trail, give cat most obnoxiously-priced cat from pet store, give turtle organic greens and let ’em walk around on fresh grass, put opening-closing treasure chest that blurts bubbles into fish tank, take parrot on exciting excursion, whatever makes ’em happy!
5. ABSTRACT – Visit someone’s marker at the cemetery (or however you wanna remember them), Donate time or money to a charity who gives love and help to those in need, make or deliver some meals, do some meditation on love and send some outward with your mind. Send love to the invisible, the forgotten, the lonely, the darkest and most desperate, sad and angry parts of yourself,  the stuff we try to keep ourselves from seeing.

Consider letting February 14th be your “excuse” to make love an impetus for change. 

Okay, thanks for reading, now onward to the goings ons!

CITY LOVE! 

It’s Los Angeles Zine Week! All over the place you can find events, readings, workshops and exhibitors galore!

FEB 12th: Pantsuit Power Hour – Head to the Must after CraftNight to hand out your business-style valentines, maybe you’ll get a Valentine Business promotion or bonus!

FEB 13th: Los Angeles Artwalk! Free, fun, and celebrating art every month!

FEB 15th: Planet Queer’s LOVE ROCKET From Ian MacKinnon and Travis Wood is a fabulous night of performance, art, music, community and MORE (at Akbar!)

My favorite chocolate shop in LA is Teuscher in BH, every bit worth taking my Echo Park butt across LaBrea, how about you? Of course, the Chocolate Indulgence Tour might be an interesting way to find more cocoa in your cocopuffs.

Be a Virtual Valentine Volunteer right now from where you’re sitting (Volunteer Match!)

One last thing (emphasis 2:34):