Category Archives: Uncategorized

This Wednesday, June 8th, 2011 from 9pm – midnight at Akbar it’s CRAFTNIGHT!!!
Project: Floating Panda
$2 Processing fee, please
$4 Cosmopolitans! Adding color and sass to your night!

It is the night of the “Floating Panda.”
Also: if you come in and tell me the SECRET PHRASE (found at the very very  end of this e-mail) I will give you a FREE TREAT.
The free treat is really cool, don’t miss it.
“Floating Panda” is a very special zen-like CraftNight experience that involves a panda that will actually float.
I have 24 of them, no more, and no less. No endangered animals were harmed in the making of this craft.
If you get here when all 24 are taken, do not cry, I have plenty of fun-filled back-up crafts. But if you want a Floating Panda, you best come in on the early side, because stampedes of people have been known to knock the socks off of CraftNight at at moment’s notice.
I’m also launching foam “gnomes and mushrooms” which are shapes that could lend a hedonistic and mind-bending angle to one’s craft. It’s summer, it’s time to embrace the sundresses and lazy skies and colors of adventure! Gnomes and mushrooms will be in a bowl on the counter, with some other new crafty goodies that will be sure to delight you.

So come in, have a cosmo, take in the swirl of summertime social spirited sway, blow us a smootch, and we’ll reciprocate gladly.

See you at the Craft Table!
JP Craft Captain

CraftNight’s Site

Akbar’s Site

Secret Phrase: Multipurpose Peanut Brittle is my Pal

This Wednesday, June 1st, 2011 from 9pm – midnight at Akbar it’s CRAFTNIGHT!!!
Project: Wooden Plane Jackpot
$2 Processing fee, please
$4 Cosmopolitans! The original recipe from 1977!!!

Planes planes PLANES!
All wooden, three types, fit for painting, decorating, and hanging from the ceiling!
This is a PAINTING craft, with acrylic paints, please bring your painting smock if don’t want to ruin that angora sweater with a possible stray blob of chartreuse or fire engine red.
Welcome to CraftNIght Airlines!
With our award winning, international CraftNight Crew and one of the most modern fleets in Los Angeles, our aim is to provide the most comfortable, relaxing environment for your in-bar creative endeavors.
Advanced hand-picked craft supplies let you personalize your experience, from adjusting your craft to selecting a beverage. A selection of fine spirits, and award winning Akbar personnel, and plenty of sexy and friendly patrons, add up to a stylish, refreshing night.
Stretch your legs during CraftNight and take a walk to the spacious dance floor. Dance if you like, or not at all, we offer relaxation, refreshment and stress-free arts and crafts.
Our CraftNight Captain is available at all times to assist customers with their crafting requests, ensuring that your time in the Craft Room and Cocktail Lounge is a tasteful and enjoyable experience.
Of course, if you want it tasteless, and remarkably indiscreet… we can arrange that as well.

See you at the Craft Table!
JP Craft Captain

CraftNight’s Site

Akbar’s Site

This Wednesday, May 25th, 2011 from 9pm – midnight at Akbar it’s CRAFTNIGHT!!!
Project: WOODLAND ANIMAL NECKLACES
$2 Processing fee, please
$4 Cosmos (if you know who Carrie Bradshaw is, you know what I’m talkin’ about)

Do stoplights, pinball machines, shredded cereal and flush toilets make a town civilized? The answer is NO!
That’s why we’re making Woodland Animal Necklaces, to wear an outside emblem of our wild nature.
We refuse to be tamed, we are one with the moon!
Adorn your necklace with your choice of feral mitten-wearing rabbit, rabid scarf-laden raccoon, or a positively fierce and predatory earmuff-wearing bird! I’m telling you, one look at this necklace, and people will know you’re the king of the beasts… the largely indigenous North American beast species, that is. Wear your animal amulet to the office, and don’t be surprised if everyone responds, throwing off their clothing and building forts out tiny red straws and coffee napkins, because that’s what this necklace does to people.

You have no excuse.
There’s nothing to stand in the way of your creativity at CraftNight.
You don’t have to go shopping for supplies, we already have them here for you.
You don’t have to think of a theme, as you can see from this e-mail, one already exists.
You don’t have to stop for cocktails, we have the best ones here at Akbar.
And you don’t have to worry about music, or chairs, or tables, or meeting fabulous new people, again… it’s all here.
You don’t even need to worry about whether your craft is “good” or “bad” because, existentially, your craft can only suck as much as you want it to; the meaning you give to it is how it exists.
The one component we need, the one thing missing, the thing CraftNIght needs most is YOU.
YOU keep CraftNight alive.

See you at the Craft Table,

JP Craft Captain

PS – Special thanks to Arlen Jones for naming the components to a perfect CraftNight while making spaghetti.

PPS – Yes, this is what a bullet blasting through five colors of Pla-Doh looks like.

CraftNight’s Site

Akbar’s Site

This Wednesday, May 18th, 2011 from 9pm – midnight at Akbar it’s CRAFTNIGHT!!!
Project: ALLIGATOR CLIPS!
$2 Processing fee, please
$4 Cosmo specials, in the color of hot pink!

This week’s CraftNight totem animal is the alligator.
If you’re an alligator, you know that it’s all about waiting.
Wait patiently for what you want. Hang out in the mud and the sludge, and embrace the quiet, and sooner or later, something delicious is going to come wading through the water.
It’s inevitable.
Once it’s in your sites, GRAB IT IN YOUR BONE-CRUSHING JAWS AND DON’T LET GO!!!
Of course, if you’re not an alligator, and you’re wading around in what seems to be a peaceful and quiet swampy landscape… I’d probably seek higher ground, but that’s just me.
We’re living in extraordinary times, if you don’t know the answer to something, you can just look it up on the internet, and never know the angst of experiencing an unanswered question ever again. “Not knowing” is becoming an art. Instinct, the hunch, the tingly sensation at the back of your neck, or the itchy palms you get when someone says something really weird: these things are not to be dismissed or forgotten.
The alligator knows all about intuition.
Are you listening to the subtleties of everyday life?
Do you know when to hide in your lair, or poke your eyes above the water, or take action and snap?
Are you gathering, absorbing and digesting things in a way that is fulfilling to you?

These are, like, totally deep questions. While alligators are deep… gator clips are decidedly not deep.
At CraftNight, this alligator clip magnet thing is so easy, you could probably put it together with one hand tied behind your back, it’s very uncomplicated. Seriously, it practically makes itself! This is an excellent introductory craft, or one to make when you’ve had more than three cocktails, because it won’t ask that much of you. Come in and try it!

See you at the Craft Table,
JP Craft Captain

CraftNight’s Site

Akbar’s Site

This Wednesday, May 11th, 2011 from 9pm – midnight at Akbar it’s CRAFTNIGHT!!!
Project: Deluxe Bird Nests (with three birds included!)
$2 Processing fee, please
$4 Cosmo specials served up by the world’s most handsome bartender

Have you been hearing all that stuff about working on your nest egg?
So have I, so I decided to get literal and give you the opportunity to build your very own nest in honor of spring having sprung! It comes with THREE birds (and googly eyes, might I add) and the amount of plumage, style of the nest and so on is entirely up to you.
This is a seriously juicy craft, you can really BRING IT if you want to get crazy. You can name your birds “Huey, Duey and Luey” or “Letty, Petty and Yetti” or “Snap Crackle & Pop” I’ve been holding onto these supplies until the right time, and NOW is that time.

If you’re not sure how to decorate your nest, here are some holidays within the month of May that, while are not federal, definitely add some pizazz to the year:

MONTH OF MAY – National BBQ Month, National Bike Month, National Salsa Month, National Older Americans Month
THIS WEEK IN MAY – Dating and Life Coach Recognition Week, National Etiquette Week, National Reading is Fun Week
MAY 11th – National Receptionist’s Day, National Night Shift Workers’ Day, Eat What You Want Day

There are flowers all over the place, mockingbirds have returned to the roost, the sky is poofy with clouds and breezes, it’s the perfect time to celebrate your basic goodness and the warm-hearted joy of the season with a crafty mini-packet of DIY jollification.

See you at the Craft Table,
JP Craft Captain

CraftNight’s Site

Akbar’s Site