Category Archives: Uncategorized

TONIGHT! Wednesday, July 13th, 2011 from 9pm (ish) – midnight (or later) at Akbar it’s CRAFTNIGHT!!!
Project: Coin Purses
$2 Processing fee, please
$4 Cosmopolitans! Don’t let summer give you a wedgie, order a cosmo! 
PS: Automata LA presents New works by Laura Heit & Susan Simpson this Friday and Saturday, go to bottom of bulletin to find out MORE! (I’m in Firewatch) 

Time to embrace the change, and when I say change, I mean pennies, nickels, dimes, quarters, half dollars and those 18 Sacagaweas the Metro Gold Line dispensed after you had the gall to pay for your train ticket with a twenty dollar bill.

I’m kind of into alternative forms of currency myself, and am a proud member of the Echo Park Time Bank, an excellent way to save your shekels, rethink the modus operandi of currency and buying stuff, and also you get to meet really great people! Check it out, come to one of our potlucks, maybe you’ll want to join our groovy group of time bankers!
But I digress.
You still need a place for all those heavy coins!
Look no further, we’ve got the answer, with a foam-tastic lace-up coin purse craft! At approximately 4″ x 3 5/8″, this little mini pouch will keep your minted metal circles from rolling down the street. You shall be poised and ready for any parking meter or gumball machine that may materialize during your everyday excursions.
It should be known that the Fabulous Foam Lacing Coin Purse Advisory Board (FFLCPAB) does not recommend using these coin purses in an especially extreme way. While these purses are expected to hold a decent amount of change or bills, the pouch itself is primarily FOAM. With enough stress or overuse, your coin purse could possibly unravel or break … sending your hard-earned currency into complete disarray.

As long as you go into the whole thing knowing this, you should be fine.

See you at the Craft Table!
JP Craft Captain

CraftNight’s Site

Akbar’s Site

Adrenaline, Eyesight and Uncertainty will be at the Velaslavasay Panorama
Friday, July 15 & Saturday, July 16, 2011
8:00 PM
Bureau of Small Requests: The Department of Uncertainty
The first in a 76-part series of tabletop toy theater shrines that use puppetry and projection to invoke a sense of ritual, poetry, pathology and supplication to an individual hope or fear.
Firewatch
A sensorial exploration of adrenalin, aggression, remote viewing and being American, with puppets and electric guitar.
Deep Dark
A new short film by Laura Heit with live vocal incantations by Emily Lacy.

Word of Advisement: This work is not suitable for young children.

This Wednesday, June 29th, 2011 from 9pm – midnight at Akbar it’s CRAFTNIGHT!!!
Project: DIY Flag
$2 Processing fee, please
$4 Cosmopolitans! Cosmos are America’s Favorite Drink for 4th of July

It’s inevitable, we like to separate ourselves into little clans, sects, tribes, coffee klatches, teams, towns, cities, countries. We’re just like that. We’re territorial, we crawled out of the sea, grew some legs and started peeing on things to mark them as ours.
Which brings me to the the 4th of July.
You can celebrate Indepence Day in the traditional American flag-waving sense, OR you can exercise your freedom of choice and make your OWN flag in honor of whatever the heck you want! And then, just in case you start getting all jingoistic and obsessive about your flag, I’ll give you a match to burn it, so that you may rid yourself of any aggressive or warlike ideas that might be brewing on your flag’s behalf.
I’ll bring the flags, you bring your ideas.
You know, just make something up, make a flag that celebrates your front door, or your new designer jeans! Make a flag about chewing tobacco, fried eggs, Fleetwood Mac, the old scar from your volleyball days, or make a flag about apple pie.

Which brings me to America.
There’s this saying “American as Apple Pie.” When’s the last time you made an apple pie from scratch? Do you know how much work actually goes into making a good apple pie? Making an apple pie requires determination, hard work, craftsmanship, knowledge and enthusiasm. Seriously, I dare you, try it.
Apple Pie takes FOREVER. It is not a fitting symbol for things like get-rich-quick schemes, mall architecture, overpriced burnt coffee, or cutting off your neighbor in traffic to get somewhere faster by a fifth of a minute. Making apple pie is a quiet, unglamorous affair that takes up time, sort of like paying taxes, attending jury duty or trying to get out of work on time to go vote.

Which brings me to patriotism.
It’s supposed to be really “uncool” to be into America, especially because there are many loudly opinionated star-and-stripe-wearing people who have claimed the USA in the name of god, or only one type of person, or people who aren’t like them, or people who are only like us (that territorial thing…)
It’s much more fun to wear a florescent t-shirt that says “America, Love It or Leave It” than actually try to help human beings with the administrative work and complicated hardships that come with “loving”, “leaving” “staying in” or even “liking” America. While you know things are going to taste great, coring and peeling 8 apples for a pie is a pain in the arse.

Just because a bunch of people who don’t follow your religious (or atheist) beliefs or fashion choices (or bad hair) call themselves the TRUE patriots… don’t let it phase you. It’s okay to like where you live and want to share it. It’s okay to not be a religious zealot or bigoted clod and STILL LIKE AMERICA. Apple pie is a delicious gift meant for sharing.
Take some time to bake something that takes forever, that takes love, and care, and goodwill, and then share it with your family, friends, neighbor, perfect strangers. Sharing food with those you love transcends all the hubbub, that’s why every culture does it.

And if none of that works for you:
Eat a piece of fruit and calm down.

See you at the Craft Table!
JP Craft Captain

CraftNight’s Site

Akbar’s Site

This Wednesday, June 22nd, 2011 from 9pm – midnight at Akbar it’s CRAFTNIGHT!!!
Project: Macho Talon Necklace
$2 Processing fee, please
$4 Cosmopolitans! There is NOTHING more macho than a hot pink cosmo!
SPECIAL GUEST: DJ DIRT HOLE!!! PRIZES! TREATS! MAYHEM!

In the tradition of flaunting “flagrant joy” we shall embrace the heat of the summer and get seriously MACHO.
I’m not going to sugarcoat it for you.
There will be dancing, there will be prizes, there will be gambling, and there will be talon necklaces.
Anyone who comes up to me and whispers the secret phrase at the end of this bulletin will get a prize.
And if you know who took the photograph used in this week’s CraftNight Bulletin… first one to claim it gets a prize for knowing.

DJ Dirt Hole will be spinning two-fisted, red-blooded, hairy-chested primal beats for you to swing your rocket to, bra.
Bring your hubris, your virile countenance, your bravado and machismo to the dance floor and show us your hunky dance moves.

These necklaces are the most macho thing we’ve ever made at CraftNight, they wield a supernatural power that is so mystically compelling, they barely stay in the box in which they arrived. Barely did I touch one of these yet-to-be assembled talon necklace kits, when I felt my my senses fill with a brawny, self-assured confidence that anyone would surely desire to possess when attending really boring business meetings or long coffee lines. Make one of these, and you could rule the world. Please keep in mind, these talon necklaces won’t instill powers of empathy or wisdom, only a level of conviction and assertiveness associated with certain traits of macho behavior. In other words: with great power comes great responsibility, use your talon necklace for good, capiche?

I have a very coveted amount of talon necklaces, if you get here after they are all gone… you will be forced to “spin the wheel of destiny” and only the stars will be able to decide what you will craft this Wednesday. It’s a special night, there will be special trinkets and prizes handed out, and possibly some tater tots. And sauce.

See you at the Craft Table!
JP Craft Captain

CraftNight’s Site

Akbar’s Site

Super secret phrase: I am so macho, I ate a tomato, and then a potato as well.

This Wednesday, June 15th, 2011 from 9pm – midnight at Akbar it’s CRAFTNIGHT!!!
Project: Bracelet Bonanza
$2 Processing fee, please
$4 Cosmopolitans! The drink is bright and the price is right!

You bet your bippy it’s CraftNight TONIGHT!
We’re making bracelets, since it seems like summer has actually come to roost in Los Angeles, and it’s time to wear beautiful colorful things on your wrists.
You Could Make
1.) A faux wrist watch
2.) Bracelet that reminds you to wash the cat
3.) A warrior armlet that warns others of your warrior skills
4.) Cut one up to form skinny little circlets and start belly dancin’
5.) Write a secret message on the inside, then show it to the person who gets to see it
6.) Hey, flip the theme and it becomes and ANKLET (um, you have to have really little ankles for this…)
7.) Maybe it’s an awesome sport band that looks like.. sporty and stuff
8.) Dick Tracy TV radio transmitter… ahead of its time and completely inoperative!
9.) Weave some beads in that sucker and make a peacetime hippy friendship talisman
10.) Decorate them with fabric and turn them in to “space cuffs” for capturing the villain in your science fiction home movie!

See you at the Craft Table!
JP Craft Captain

CraftNight’s Site

Akbar’s Site