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Author Archives: jp

Frankenstein Thumbprint Creatures • October 10th, 2012


Oy.
Apologies for the late notice. There IS CraftNight tonight, your Craft Captain has triumphed over a rather nasty bout of food poisoning, but is feeling strong enough to host this evening’s craft!

As if the “Candycorn Mouse Witch Ornament” from last week wasn’t enough, we’re doing another Halloween-themed ornament, the “Thumbprint Frankenstein Ornament Craft Kit” complete with shared stamp pad to make GREEN prints for his nose!

Also there will be a plethora of “Gothtober Treats” made by Veronica LeBron
and maybe Sky will be there with is massage table, call the bar and ask, if you’re needing some bodywork!
As Usual:
$2 processing fee
$4 cosmopolitans
And we’re here from 9-ish until midnight!

And don’t forget: www.gothtober.com  >>> Tonight at midnight, Pinkee and Lenore’s “Trick or Treat” an old-timey film with a cameo of yours truly is launching on the calendar! Just click pumpkin #11!

 

Posted by on October 10, 2012 in Uncategorized

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CandyCornWitchMouseOrnament • Oct. 3rd, 2012

This Wednesday, October 3rd, 2012 from 9pm(ish) until 12(or later) at Akbar,  it’s CRAFTNIGHT!
Project: CandyCornWitchMouseOrnament
$2 Processing Fee
$4 Cosmopolitans: If you ‘ve got the time, we’ve got the cosmo.
Massage Therapist Sky on Duty: Bodywork Special: $14 for 15 minutes, try it!

Your Craft Captain is also Head Candy Corn of Gothtober.com so please visit the Gothtober Countdown Calendar and click on one of the 31 pumpkins for a special treat. It’s basically an advent calendar, but for Halloween instead of Xmas. It’s online, it’s free, it’s weird, it’s completely in the spirit of something you shouldn’t be doing, so therefore you should do it immediately.

October’s bright blue weather is here, which means we’re going to pack in as many Halloween crafts as we can, starting with the CandyCornWitchMouseOrnament. It’s a Candy Corn. It’s a Mouse. It’s a Witch. It’s an Ornament! It’s a Mouse! It’s an Ornament! It’s a Candy Corn! It’s a Witch! It’s FOUR things in ONE! Can you handle it? It’s a total multitasking megastar of a craft! You think you’re busy? Try being one of America’s favorite candies, as well as being one of America’s most reviled pests, while also being one of the nation’s most feared supernatural beings AND THEN bring it all together to morph into something everyone likes: a charming, non-threatening non-devil worshipping adorable tchotchke for home decor.

Have you friends of the spacey variety, hang this weird and cheery decoration on their doorknob to remind them that All Hallow’s Eve is less than 30 days away!

More Fun to be had this week:

Texas Loves Lyla! (Akbar’s own Jeffrey Wylie!) October 5th and 7th

CicLAvia 10.7.12 – ALL DAY Sunday!  Pedal your way around Exposition Park,ChinatownMariachi Plaza in Boyle Heights, and the newly completed Grand Park downtown, where CicLAvia will converge with the inaugural celebration of the park’s performance lawn.

See you at the craft table, JP Craft Captain

Akbar’s Site

CraftNight’s Site 

 

 

Posted by on October 2, 2012 in Uncategorized

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TONIGHT! Autumn Crafts, Apples, Ukeleles, Puffballs, Massage Therapy! (September 26th, 2012)

TONIGHT!!! Wednesday, September 26th, 2012 from 9pm(ish) until 12(or later) at Akbar,  it’s CRAFTNIGHT!
Project: FALL Crafts! (a plethora of classic autumnal favorites) 
$2 Processing Fee
$4 Cosmopolitans: For people who share a taste of excitement.  

TONIGHT! TONIGHT! TONIGHT!
     • UKELELE ORCHESTRA PERFORMANCE 10 or 11-ish 
     • “THE APPLE” playing on the Akbar Jumbo Movie Tron 
     • SKY THE MASSAGE THERAPIST ON DUTY! 
     • FREE Mini APPLE pom pom creature in honor of Johnny Appleseed Day!
It’s FALL!

I don’t know about you, but I like to celebrate the Vernal Equinox, Johnny Appleseed Day and Yom Kippur by watching weird cult classic movies, doing crafts, thinking deep thoughts, sipping on cocktails, singing with a ukelele orchestra and participating in some bodywork with a really good masseuse, all in one night at one place.

After tonight’s amazingness, you’re like “what now? How do I keep from getting hopelessly bored in this major metropolitan city?” I’ve nothing to do! I’ve nowhere to go! What will become of me?!?

Here are some answers:

Thursday –  WIG OUT doors open 9:30 theme: PUPPETS (JP & Monica perform with Bob Baker Marionette Puppeteer, Adrien Rose)

Friday – Sat – The PAT & CHARLIE VARIETY HOUR from Cavern Club 9pm

Saturday – TRANSLUCENT TRAVELS at Automata in China Town 8pm (JP presents a weird slideshow)

See you at the craft table, JP Craft Captain

Akbar’s Site

CraftNight’s Site 

 

Posted by on September 26, 2012 in Uncategorized

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September 19th, 2012 • Snack Crafts

Wednesday, September 19th, 2012 from 9pm(ish) until 12(or later) at Akbar,  it’s CRAFTNIGHT!
Project: Crafting with Snacks!
$2 Processing Fee
$4 Cosmopolitans: If you’ve got the time, we’ve got the Cosmo.  
Massage Therapist ON DUTY! (Sky’s current deal is 15 minutes for 14 bucks = A STEAL!)

Snacks at the bar, snacks on your table, edible crafts is the name the game, decidedly savory and totally weird. This is the last week of summer, and we’re going to go out with a SNACK BANG, by making sculptures and what-not out of some of America’s bagged munchies that will be held together with the mortar of, you guessed it: bean dip.

The last time we did this, I believe Josh Fielstra made the ark of the covenant out of pretzels and doritos. I’m sort of hoping for more of the same this round, except maybe we’ll get a Starship Enterprise, or a locomotive, or perhaps a presidential portrait. One can only hope. I’ll have as many shapes as I can find in order to enable the most varied results for your projects. You can even EAT your masterpiece when you’re done! I’m not sure I can say it’ll be a good idea, but CraftNight prides itself on bad ideas, so there you are.

In other news, it has been confirmed that less and less people are smiling at strangers. I think the top three reasons for not smiling at strangers are:
1.) Self-centeredness – Lost in thought, staring at phone, texting, anything that is not attached to the here and now, the distracted existence of the scattered brain is disinterested in immediate surroundings and the people who inhabit it.
2.) You hate everything – Having a bad day, feeling insular, not wanting to interact, none of these make you want to crack a smile at anyone, and forcing it seems inauthentic, so why bother.
3.) Inundation – If you smile at someone they might start talking to you, and try to become your best friend, or take up your time with their pointless and boring drivel.

These three reasons for not smiling at strangers are TOTAL BUNKUS. 
1.) We’re turning into a nation of distracted ROBOTS, put down the goddamn phone and force yourself to interact with your environment! Everyone you see is another star in the sky, no less or more important than you. Next time you’re in line at the bank, don’t check your phone, just wait, and see how impatient you have become. Look around you, use your senses. Part of being carefree and alive is being here right now.
2.) Hating everything is natural and normal. Smiling isn’t always the answer, but on less crappy days, you could make a difference in not just your own life, but someone else’s. You can’t fake a smile, people know a fake smile instantly, but what’s interesting is that, out of the two possible smiles there are that can be made (real or fake) no matter which one you transmit: It still gets you a little bit out of the doldrums. Caring for a stranger even in the tiniest way makes both you and the stranger feel better.
3.) And OMG the WORST is this fear of unwanted interaction that might be brought on by smiling. COME ON. If you aren’t adult enough to smile at someone for fear of them talking to you, you’re never going to develop and hone your skills in building real boundaries in friend, family and work situations where interaction, communication and articulation are crucial. Hiding and shirking isn’t the answer, be BRAVE, start small, start with strangers! You can smile at a stranger and keep walking, you can smile and wave, you can keep your cherished privacy and identity and important time and schedule and yadda yadda yadda… but not unless you can get over yourself first. And remember: strangers are just as scared as you as you are of them, they think you’re going to want to be their best friend, follow them home and eat all their food in the fridge… how silly is that? Mmmm hmmmm….

Smiling at strangers is one small thing you can do consistently to make your fellow inhabitants of planet earth feel important and cared for, it makes people feel human. It costs nothing, it’s easy to do, and as our technology advances and our manners disappear, it is more important than ever to connect in real space, in real time. It’s totally old school, but it totally works. Don’t be a chickenshit! Try it!
See you at the craft table, JP Craft Captain

Akbar’s Site

CraftNight’s Site 

 

Posted by on September 18, 2012 in Uncategorized

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September 12th & 13th, 2012 • One Week, TWO CraftNights!

Double your pleasure, double your fun with TWO CraftNights in one week!
Wednesday September 12th, 2012 at Akbar from 9pm – 12 (or later) it’s the Original CraftNight!
Project: Cards-n-Letters
$2 Processing fee, please
$4 Cosmopolitans – The Akbar Cosmo refreshes the parts other cosmos cannot reach
Sky the massage therapist will be on hand, experience the lasting genuine benefits of bodywork from Sky, get 15 minutes for $14 GREAT DEAL!

Thursday September 13th, 2012 at The Pleasure Chest from 7pm – 11pm
CraftNight will be in the middle of it all, toaster ovens fired up at full throttle, making “Naughty Hottie Shrinky Dinks!” This event comes but once a year and is not to be missed, read more to find out what’s in store and DO RSVP, because I want to see you!
Attendance is free, but given the nature of the entertainment, the party is invitation only and restricted to those 18 and older. If you would like to attend, please RSVP by sending an email to gloryhole@thepleasurechest.com and tell us how many will be in your party.

The Post Office seems to be the only branch of government that is expected to make money. I was even reading about someone sending something important through the mail and getting all mad that it didn’t get to its destination. Did they send it CERTIFIED? No. Sigh. You can save pennies on the dollar by using common everyday features of the US Post Offica that FedEx and UPS charge a crazy amount of dollars for, did you know that? It makes me crazy. But I’m not going to get too much into that, instead I’m going to have us send cards and letters to friends and relatives that we love dearly, but keep forgetting to contact because we’re too busy with EMAIL. Email is a very sad substitute for someone’s handwriting, and handwriting itself is a real window into how a person is thinking, doing, etc. Don’t you love getting mail that isn’t a bunch of catalogues or coupons, but mail that was made for YOU from someone? Bring your obscure addresses, I’ll bring the envelopes, postcards, paper, stickers and pens and fun stuff for making excellent love tokens to send to those you love.

See you at the Craft Table,

JP Craft Captain

Akbar’s Site

CraftNight’s Site 

 

Posted by on September 10, 2012 in Uncategorized

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