10 Lies About Your New Summertime Arrowhead Necklace Craft • July 23rd, 2014

22 Jul


This Wednesday, July 23rd, 2014 from 9pm until midnight (or later) it’s CRAFTNIGHT!!!
Project: Arrowhead Necklace
Processing Fee: $2
$4 Drink Special: The Lyla, Life begins at the end of a Lyla!
•••••EXTRA CREDIT: BUY SOME ART at the SPARKLEBLOB ART ACTION Bidding Owl Page! We’re fundraising to keep programs like CraftNight, Gothtober, the Holiday Show and other bizarre and amazing arty things going on in your city!
•••••MORE EXTRA CREDIT: Come to the SparkleBlob ART ACTION ON AUGUST 2nd! You can get a Birthday License from DocuMART™ purchase art to support our cause, have a hot dog or some tater tots, play bingo and WIN PRIZES!!!

NOW THEN: On to the LIES People Tell about Summertime Arrowhead Necklace Crafts!
Lies! The Summertime Arrowhead is actually one of the fastest crafts recorded on record according to CraftSport Magazine in 1978. If you are in a hurry, this craft is PERFECT for those who have early bedtimes or who feel overwhelmed with daily tasks.
Lies! Your Summertime Arrowhead craft is built with the technology to make assembly not only very fast, but also reality-defyingly easy! It’s so easy that in 2005, Mumbles, a Jack Russell Terrier from Tuscon, AZ put one together in 10.5 minutes, and Mumbles doesn’t even have opposable thumbs!
Lies! The Summertime Arrowhead is packed with meaning! The semantics of getting out of your abode and into a bar to make a piece of wearable art with parts made in China from artificial whisperings of all ancient human civilization with a jaunty nod to this nation’s more recent association with arrowheads and Native American culture could make your head EXPLODE with meaning!
Lies! In every way this summertime arrowhead craft arrives with instructions… that are YOURS TO DISOBEY. While perimeters have been put in place, and there is an aura of artifice lingering, it need not dictate the very independent and vociferous voice you’ll lend to the final product.
Lies! These arrowheads are made from STONE! You could feasibly whittle the point down with a flinty bit and make it really sharp! The cord is 24 inches, the beads are real plastic! What do you mean by “real” anyway?
Lies! Are you kidding?!? Nothing portrays freedom and confidence like a stone arrowhead hanging from your neck. Do NOT be surprised if you get extra attention at the office wearing this thing, or a free pass on the Redline to Noho.
Lies! You’ll have to beat people off with sticks, you’ll be the talk of the town! You’ll inspire instant envy and joy in every soul you meet with your Summertime Arrowhead Necklace, you might even have to flick someone’s forehead in order to get more personal space!
Lies! We make sure to bathe all CraftNight Crafts under the full moon and burn sage nearby so that you’ll never have to give this concern another thought.
Lies! It’s been proven that things like knitting and scrap booking and other crafts can have a calming and therapeutic effect. The Summertime Arrowhead craft was built to help you sort out all that complicated stuff in your brain while you do something fun and life-affirming. Come make one, I swear, it’ll make you lighter.
Lies! The Summertime Arrowhead craft totally understands. It’s traveled a long way to see you, and it is waiting inside of a plastic bag for you to open and build a lovely representation of southwestern art. It knows what it’s like to wonder about the future, it understands the frustration of uncertainty. It is inanimate, and it’s got to deal with that.

See you at the Craft Table,

JP Craft Captain


Record Stuff in Your CAMP JOURNAL! • July 16th, 2014

16 Jul


TONIGHT!!! Wednesday July 16th, 2014 from 9pm to midnight (or later) it’s CRAFTNIGHT!!!
PROJECT: Camp Journals
PROCESSING FEE: $2 Donation, please!
DRINK SPECIAL: $4 “The Lyla” Ginger Beer, have no fear, with a little whiskey, Dear!

BREAKING NEWS: The Sparkleblob Bidding Page is OPEN!!!
CraftNight is one of SparkleBlob’s Programs.
The Auction is HERE!
Find out about our Art Action Fundraiser on August 2nd HERE!

Meanwhile, I’m sure you’re eager to jot down your errant thoughts, ideas, summer adventures, plans for the perfect camping trip, reasons to buy floral table coverings, malamite plates and so on… so I’ve got just the thing: Camp Journals!

It’s got a handsome foam cover, with holes for binding with ease, and an optional “campfire design” for you to either follow or ignore completely. The whole thing is designed for you to add your custom style to this highly practical and functional craft.

You can turn it into an address book, or a dream diary, a sketchbook, scrapbook of photos, place to brainstorm your next project with all those little lines and circles, you could start your novel.

Come on in and see us, it’s a lovely night for it.

See you at the Craft Table,

JP Craft Captain


Summertime GrabCraft • July 9th, 2014

08 Jul


This Wednesday, June 9th, 2014 from 9pm until midnight (or later) at Akbar, it’s CRAFTNIGHT!!!
Project: Summertime GrabCraft!
$2 Processing fee, please
$4 Drink Special: “The Lyla” • Get Rid of the Hitch in Yer GiddyUp!
**** Special Note: Love CraftNight? CraftNight is one of the programs of! 

SparkleBlob needs ART for our Art Auction Fundraiser!!! Make a little dough and support CraftNight, along with our other programs! Now accepting submissions through July 15th!

Summertime at Camp CraftNight means there are a LOT of projects on deck for the coming season! This Wednesday, take your pick of crafts from CraftNight’s Grab Bag of projects. This is a fine time to bring a “beginner crafter” if you’ve got a friend who has never been to Akbar or CraftNight!
They can not only choose the cocktail of their choice, but their craft project!
We can introduce them to the GIANT poster on the wall in the bar showing you all the fabulous upcoming events at the bar for July, and maybe, just maybe, Stefan will turn on the mini disco ball in the front room if you promise to sway to the music.
Join us for an easy breezy relaxing leisure time Wednesday, a night away from it all, a night embracing those artsy-fartsy tendencies of yours. Come out and play!

See you at the Craft Table,

JP Craft Captain


Our very own Jason Myers at the Downtown Standard every Thursday from 5:30 to 8:30 

Here they are playing Favela: 

Perch Rooftop Happy Hour Mon-Fri from 4 – 6pm drinks and food. Live music Thursday and Saturday Nights!

Also Check out the Ace, Redbury and Shangri-La, get there early to avoid dumbness.


4th of July in Yer EYE • July 2nd, 2014

01 Jul

This Wednesday, June 25th, 2014 from 9pm until midnight (or later) at Akbar, it’s CRAFTNIGHT!!!
Project: Necklace Envy
$2 Processing fee, please
$4 Drink Special: “The Lyla” • Do what tastes right.
**** Special Note: Love CraftNight? CraftNight is one of the programs of! 

SparkleBlob needs ART for our Art Auction Fundraiser!!! Make a little dough and support CraftNight, along with our other programs! Now accepting submissions through July 15th!

Okay, now that you know we’re looking for art for our fundraiser so that we can keep bringing you opportunities to be creative, it’s time to talk about the 4th of July. Are you prepared? If you’re not prepared, come to CraftNight and experience a 4th of July-themed craft! I’ve got some classics up my sleeve, such as a bi-partisan  patriotic turtle craft, as well as a flag-themed  weird napkin holder thinger. Also there will be patriotic treats! I won’t elaborate because I’m still deciding, but the treats will be VERY AMERICAN. AMERICAN TREATS.

America is a fabulous country, Red White and Blue!: The Interstate Highway System (and the EZ-Pass), The Mississippi River, The Boeing 747, Gatorade, Aretha Franklin, Prom, The Pulitzer Prize, Religious Freedom, The Grand Canyon, 24-hour donuts, a love and willingness to blow stuff up, tater tots, voting, Robert Shaw in Jaws, The Civil Rights Movement, Diversity, Free Speech and Susan Sontag. There’s a lot to be proud of, this only scratches the surface!

But America also has some issues, Red White and Poo!: Aggressive foreign policy, an obnoxious superiority complex, illusions of grandeur, Scalia, more guns per capita than any other nation, imperialism, democracy vs. “democracy”, The VA debacle, Lack of Socialist Courage, Bigotry, Highest Incarceration rate in the world, Consumerism, Sprawl, Hobby Lobby, McRib.
And yep, this also only scratches the surface, there’s soooo much more to contemplate.

July 4th is an incredibly great time to take a good long honest look at America. It seems that making the pendulum swing all the way over to “We’re #1″ or “USA Sucks” is sort of American in itself, we’re “extreme” that way, just like our Doritos.

America is having an identity crisis. On one side: fear, aggression, banality, xenophobia. On the other: hopefulness, humour, confidence in human nature, critical thought. This battle is not being fought along party lines; it is not the case that one party or candidate holds a monopoly on these positive virtues. No: it is more existential and every one of us is fighting it internally. Which country are we to be? The terrified, torturing, isolated bully; or the tolerant, slow-to-anger, naive-but-bright protector-of-the-poor? It’s not altogether a new battle: the American heart – hell, maybe the human heart – has been divided along these lines for a long time. But here, in our time, it feels like the battle is heating up. So, as they used to say on TV: stay tuned. - George Saunders

The idealists of the process are talking about the hinge of history. - Joan Didion 

July 4th is also a fantastic opportunity to purge any nationalistic sensibilities you may have toward ANY country, and burn the flag closest to your heart!

See you at the Craft Table,

JP Craft Captain


Grand Park

Exposition Park 

Queen Mary 

Marina del Rey


Necklace Envy • Camp CraftNight • June 25th, 2014

25 Jun


This Wednesday, June 25th, 2014 from 9pm until midnight (or later) at Akbar, it’s CRAFTNIGHT!!!
Project: Necklace Envy 
$2 Processing fee, please
$4 Drink Special: “The Lyla” • Do what tastes right. 
**** Special Note: Wanna sell some ART at the SparkleBlob Art Action? Make a little dough and support CraftNight, along with SparkleBlob’s other programs! Now accepting submissions through July 15th!

Ahhhh Summer is HERE!

RIGHT NOW we have a plan for you to look fahhhhhhbulous with your new necklace you’ll make here at CraftNight. We have cocktails, we have air conditioning, we have music and fun and enough artsy fartsy necklace supplies to make your mind explode. If you’re going to be wearing that summer dress or that hawt muscle shirt, you’ve got to accessorize! As part of our summer program, Camp CraftNight is here to help you with your summer couture. Once you start attending those summer pool parties with your home made necklace, you’ll be the envy of the crowds, and maybe someone will purchase a piña colada in your honor, just for you.

Summertime means it’s time to get that bizarre suntan on your face from wearing sunglasses! It’s time to chase down the popsicle truck at 8:30 at night! The arrival of summer solstice means that EVERYONE is wearing sandals! Skimpy outfits are everywhere, and everything smells like BO, skin, deodorant, sunscreen, bay rum, or fruity body wash!

It’s time for fruit and tiny little pretzel sticks and salads and endless snacking, and margaritas, and forgetting what time it is because the days are so long! It’s time for grilled veggies, beaches, bonfires, time for baseball games, fireworks, iced  coffee and banana creme pie. It is officially the season of leisure, and even though some of you are working too hard, please try to find us, we are your oasis. 

See you at the Craft Table,

JP Craft Captain