Not CraftNight! • 05/13/2020

Hello, happy day whatever, welcome to NOT CraftNight!

In lieu of our usual in-person soiree of cocktails and crafts at Akbar, I’m sending you vibes of bohemia and great cordiality through my computer monitor to yours. Get yer crayons ready…

Here’s the very latest coloring page I made for you JUST NOW that you can print, color and enjoy in your habitat. It’s PeeWee Herman riding a jaguar, chest hair out, space boots on, jaguar blowing bubbles from corncob pipe. CLICK HERE GET IT NOW!!!

(Low Resolution Preview Image!)

How ya doin? It’s been a weird moody week. When things are not going my way, one or more of these three things solves up to half of every problem:

  • Drink a BIG glass of water
  • Take a nap
  • Eat an apple

These actions/findings are not scientific or proven, it’s just a personal at-home philosophy currently in development. Lemme know if any of these remedies have worked for you.

Sending artsy fartsy love,

JP Craft Captain

On with the distractions, because life inside is LIVING!

The Introspective Option <<< Daily Creativity Pact? Suleika Jaouad started the Isolation Journals project. Sometimes I just read it and then I don’t do it. But sometimes I do it, and I like it!

Matt Damon <<< adopted by a small seaside Irish village! Remember Contagion when he played a Hollywood pandemic dad? Now he’s a real pandemic dad kickin’ it with his fam in the land of saints and scholars!

The Louis Vuitton Foosball Table <<< Unveiled just last week, and at only $93,000.00!!!! Get yours today! Perfect timing!

Super Fun Music Quiz <<< Okay so you meet someone who has never heard of Ella Fitzgerald… or The Byrds… or Van Halen. What songs do YOU remember?

Four Leaf Clover in Resin? <<<< YESSSSS! MAKE IT! It’s toxic be careful, but you’ll be SO LUCKY!!!

The Spy Who Loved Me <<< 1977 Roger Moore Bond, skiing, Egypt, the ocean, startling/arresting fashion, antiquated ideas, and so many wonderful old-fashioned telephones. And the villain, Jaws… remember JAWS????

Daily Wellness on Spotify <<< A mix of music and wellness for your entire day, every day a new one! It can make things ploof along.


The Kitchen <<< Akbar’s closed, but The Kitchen is still cookin! Serving take-out orders (limited menu, check our site for available items) from 5 p.m. to 9 p.m. daily. Also delivery through Postmates. #TheBESTChickenSoup

Yuca’s on Hillhurst <<< Open for TAKE-OUT and DELIVERY! Order delivery via GrubHub. Call in your take-out order at (323) 662-1214 #cochinitapibil

Roscoe’s Chicken & Waffles <<< Open, available for pickup or delivery. See? Sometimes we CAN have nice things. Postmates, UberEats, GrubHub, DoorDash #CarolCSpecial #ObamaSpecial

Elf Restaurant <<< Legendary tiny romantic veggie restaurant still in operation! Order food and natural wine via  Caviar  (free delivery) or call them: 213-484-6829 for sidewalk service. 


Posted by on May 13, 2020 in Uncategorized

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MAY 8th – Upcoming Drawing Workshop w/Project Q !

Hi! I miss you! It’s quarantine day #56. Akbar’s been closed since the 14th, today is National Cosmpolitan Day. How cruel is it that I don’t get to mix you a tasty, frosty cosmo during this springtime heatwave?!? DUMBNESS.

CraftNight’s on hold, as the Akbar Rumpus Room is quiet, like so many of your favorite places. But guess what? Tomorrow I’m gonna LIVE on the ProjectQ Instagram teaching a lil’ drawing workshop at NOON! It’s all part of the ProjectQ Virtual Community Center Programming, lots of great learning to be found there, including self-haircutting workshops taught by my wife, Coral!

I’ll be sharing with you some basic drawing skills and techniques, stuff you can do with any ol’ piece of paper, pencil, and pen. Please tune in if you’re inclined, and thank you for watching!

So how ya coping? Do you have enough beans? I have enough beans, but only recently. Shit is very serious, and I know you know that, so I’m not going to get into it. Can’t really get into it because never-ending screaming/exploding may ensue, and there’s already enough of that going round the mulberry bush. I’m gonna offer distractions, because I want you to stay inside if you can. Because science knows things.

MIDNIGHT GOSPEL – Netflix >>> It’s not for everybody, but it’s beautiful, poignant, a collaboration between Duncan Trussel and Pendleton Ward, and it was totally for me, so I thought I’d share.

LEARN SPANISH – DuoLingo >>> Why? Because LOS ANGELES. Also, your proximity to a country that has the most delicious food less than 3 hours away from you, when the gates are open again, go there and EAT. Already know Spanish? Okay, how bout Scottish Gaelic and Esperanto????

BECOME A SMITHSONIAN DIGITAL VOLUNTEER >>> Transcribe Astronaut, Sally Ride’s journals! Diaries, ledgers, logbooks, and MORE! People left behind historical information on all kinds of stuff, and it needs to be logged! You can help it be recorded for posterity, yes you!

PRESSURE COOKER TOMATO SAUCE RECIPE>>> Make it, freeze it, make your life just that much more fabulous. Freezer Arts & Sciences is an amazing way to give your future dinner-eating self fabulous gifts. Don’t have an instant pot to make this sauce? Just… browse around on Serious Eats, it’s a never-ending source of deliciousness.

BIG DESK ENERGY ON SPOTIFY >>> I dunno about you, my desk is the hub, where it all starts, where it all ends, where stuff is MADE. You need something that’ll keep you kicking butt. Here’s a mix for that big desk feeling.

Meanwhile, if you wanna color, just go into the last few CraftNight posts to get FREE downloadable coloring pages by yours truly! There’s Fish Police, Badger & Fox, Reality Bites, and Gandalf + Dumbledore in a Mini! Hmmm… there were no posts in April… the Archive of March 2020 should give you alll the links!

Until soon,

JP Craft Captain


Posted by on May 7, 2020 in Uncategorized

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Gandalf, Dumbledore, and MORE! • March 25th, 2020

Gandalf and Dumbledore in a Mini • Covid-19 Coloring Page #4

Happy Wednesday, normally I’d be getting ready to host CraftNight at Akbar, but quarantine continues, right on schedule. Thus, here’s another Covid-19 Coloring Page for you, fantasy edition!

In the past, drawing prompts on my FB page were sometimes used to make Xmas ornaments for recipients who may have only casually thrown an idea into the ring. Other times, the subject matter has been used merely as a personal challenge for making paintings or drawings. This is how the wizards, Dumbledore and Gandalf, ended up in a mini this week.

I have known Kendra since my first week of college, when I asked her if she’d be my friend. Guess what? We’re still friends!

Kendra did indeed ask for exactly this wizard-mini-drawing scenario probably a year or more ago, and the request was duly noted, but alas, time ran out. So when it came around AGAIN (see above) I just had to drop everything and draw it!

Upon drawing this particular vignette, two wizards in a mini, one wonders where two such friends could wander? Gandalf visiting Dumbledore at Hogwarts might be fun, but you can take the train there, no need to use a mini.

However, getting to Mordor has ALWAYS been a schlep, it’s not for anyone without serious adventure chops. A mini might be preferred for quick turns and zippy getaways.

Maybe Gandalf was like “Hey Dumbledore, take a drive with me to check out my old room mate, Sauron’s, realm! It’s CRAZY, it’s got a bunch of orcs, and trolls, and hobbits, there’s a volcano, and Sauron built a giant eye on a stick that we have to avoid so he doesn’t see us coming. Sauron’s kind of a grumpy guy, but once you get to know him he’s just a big softy.”

So thank you, Kendra, for being vigilant in your appeal for this drawing. The beards are flying out the windows as you wish… but… I cheated a little bit, I made the auto an ORIGINAL actual British mini to make the car just that much smaller. And this is a THREE wizard drawing, with the addition of Sauron… snooping with his obnoxious giant spying eyeball on a stick. They did start driving in town, but kept going and ended up in Mordor, like ya do.

The first three coloring pages were nice and easy, but this one’s one to chew on, it’s got lots of nooks and crannies for coloring! Hope you enjoy it, all of these are 8.5 X 11, by the way, suitable for any garden-variety home printer.

And please DO share your finished coloring pages with me, I love seeing how y’all use your hues and tints!



Posted by on March 25, 2020 in Uncategorized

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Reality Bites Coloring Page • March 22nd, 2020

For Beto: Reality Bites INDEED!!!

Okay I’m continuing to make coloring pages per requests on my Facebook page, and this one’s for Beto, who was watching Reality Bites, the 90s comedy about love and… reality!

The bitter truth is upon us, and Reality REALLY DOES Bite right now. To keep you company, here are the Gen X archetypes of the times: Vickie Miner, Michael Grates, Leilana Pierce, and Troy Dyer!

Give ’em all mustaches, color fun backgrounds for them, enjoy coloring this in and then putting it up in your ROOM so you can emulate the slacker generation and practice intellectual one-upmanship on those around you!

Thank you, Beto! I enjoyed drawing all the “disaffected 90s youth” hair!



Posted by on March 22, 2020 in Uncategorized

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Fox and Badger Coloring Page • March 21st, 2020

Reading Fox and Ukulele Badger request from Dalia, who I know from Planet Queer!

Welcome to the weekend, as we’re cooped inside for a bit of a long haul, it’s time to read alllll those books you’ve been meaning to read! Or learn something new, like ukulele, or pick up that instrument and do some noodling! Or watch TV? I dunno… or COLOR! Yes, get your Fox-n-Badger coloring sheet here today!

I’ve received so many marvelous requests for coloring pages, but I knew when I read this that I REALLY WANTED TO DRAW IT!!! Thank you, Dalia, for fox and badger love.

I don’t really understand the mechanics of the Badger’s paw/fret placement, and the fox is on a ladder, not on a pile of books. Also this is coloring pages, so the fox MIGHT be red, but it’s up to the crayon-holder to really make that kind of decision. Hope you don’t mind those discrepancies, lol.



Posted by on March 21, 2020 in Uncategorized

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