This Wednesday, July 23rd, 2014 from 9pm until midnight (or later) it’s CRAFTNIGHT!!!
Project: Arrowhead Necklace
Processing Fee: $2
$4 Drink Special: The Lyla, Life begins at the end of a Lyla!
•••••EXTRA CREDIT: BUY SOME ART at the SPARKLEBLOB ART ACTION Bidding Owl Page! We’re fundraising to keep programs like CraftNight, Gothtober, the Holiday Show and other bizarre and amazing arty things going on in your city!
•••••MORE EXTRA CREDIT: Come to the SparkleBlob ART ACTION ON AUGUST 2nd! You can get a Birthday License from DocuMART™ purchase art to support our cause, have a hot dog or some tater tots, play bingo and WIN PRIZES!!!
NOW THEN: On to the LIES People Tell about Summertime Arrowhead Necklace Crafts!
1.) IT TAKES FOREVER
Lies! The Summertime Arrowhead is actually one of the fastest crafts recorded on record according to CraftSport Magazine in 1978. If you are in a hurry, this craft is PERFECT for those who have early bedtimes or who feel overwhelmed with daily tasks.
2.) IT’S HARD
Lies! Your Summertime Arrowhead craft is built with the technology to make assembly not only very fast, but also reality-defyingly easy! It’s so easy that in 2005, Mumbles, a Jack Russell Terrier from Tuscon, AZ put one together in 10.5 minutes, and Mumbles doesn’t even have opposable thumbs!
3.) IT’S NOT MEANINGFUL
Lies! The Summertime Arrowhead is packed with meaning! The semantics of getting out of your abode and into a bar to make a piece of wearable art with parts made in China from artificial whisperings of all ancient human civilization with a jaunty nod to this nation’s more recent association with arrowheads and Native American culture could make your head EXPLODE with meaning!
4.) IT’S CONTRIVED
Lies! In every way this summertime arrowhead craft arrives with instructions… that are YOURS TO DISOBEY. While perimeters have been put in place, and there is an aura of artifice lingering, it need not dictate the very independent and vociferous voice you’ll lend to the final product.
5.) IT’S NOT REAL
Lies! These arrowheads are made from STONE! You could feasibly whittle the point down with a flinty bit and make it really sharp! The cord is 24 inches, the beads are real plastic! What do you mean by “real” anyway?
6.) IT’S NOT SEXY
Lies! Are you kidding?!? Nothing portrays freedom and confidence like a stone arrowhead hanging from your neck. Do NOT be surprised if you get extra attention at the office wearing this thing, or a free pass on the Redline to Noho.
7.) IT’S NOT A CONVERSATION STARTER
Lies! You’ll have to beat people off with sticks, you’ll be the talk of the town! You’ll inspire instant envy and joy in every soul you meet with your Summertime Arrowhead Necklace, you might even have to flick someone’s forehead in order to get more personal space!
8.) I’M SCARED IT’S PACKED WITH EVIL SPIRITS
Lies! We make sure to bathe all CraftNight Crafts under the full moon and burn sage nearby so that you’ll never have to give this concern another thought.
9.) IT’LL RUIN MY CONCENTRATION
Lies! It’s been proven that things like knitting and scrap booking and other crafts can have a calming and therapeutic effect. The Summertime Arrowhead craft was built to help you sort out all that complicated stuff in your brain while you do something fun and life-affirming. Come make one, I swear, it’ll make you lighter.
10.) IT DOESN’T UNDERSTAND
Lies! The Summertime Arrowhead craft totally understands. It’s traveled a long way to see you, and it is waiting inside of a plastic bag for you to open and build a lovely representation of southwestern art. It knows what it’s like to wonder about the future, it understands the frustration of uncertainty. It is inanimate, and it’s got to deal with that.
See you at the Craft Table,
JP Craft Captain