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Shamrock-O-Rama • March 12th, 2014

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This Wednesday, March 12th, 2014 from 9pm until 12 (or later!) it’s CRAFTNIGHT!!!
Project: Shamrock wreath, shamrock necklace, shamrock pin.
Processing fee: $2 donation requested, thank you!
Drink Special: $4 The Lyla: Beauty outside, Beast Inside!
Special Filmstrip Screening: The Lavendar Leprachaun at 10:30 pm! (6.5 minutes)

If you detest shamrocks, then I am sorry to say, this may not be the CraftNight for you.
If you ARE into trifolium pratense, then woohoo! Come on down and get your crafts!
We’re right on the cusp of St. Patrick’s Day, this CraftNight gives you the opportunity to bedeck your surroundings and your person with a bevy of trinkets that sum up the “wearin’ o’ the green.”
To be clear, I’m talkin’ SHAMROCK, not FOUR LEAF CLOVER. We don’t just throw around four leaf clovers like they’re on discount at the five and dime. You’ve got to have serious luck to find a four leaf clover, it’s a game of chance, but I have heard that if you really want to up your odds, you should root around in a patch of trefolium repens (white clover.) And if you party hearty with the masses at Akbar on the 17th, just make sure if someone passes out and you draw incriminating things on their face, that you use a green marker. We are professionals around here, after all.

In addition to the evening’s CraftNight festivities, at 10:30pm I’m breaking out a very special rare filmstrip called The Lavender Leprechaun made many moons ago by the Walt Disney Educational Media Company. This 6 1/2 minute gem was created in 1975 and features a very interesting message that still resonates today. It is perhaps a thinly disguised nod to situations stewing and brewing in a society slowly beginning to accept certain concepts. While presented in a habitually tame and glossy way, there is an inkling that it could, either consciously or not, offer a wee bit of reassurance to those in class feeling “different.”

See you at the Craft Table,

JP Craft Captain

YOUR CITY, YOUR ESCAPADES…

UNTIL March 29th >>> Over 40 Robert Mapplethorpe works up at OHWOW to see for free.

ANYTIME >>> Hike to the Backside of the famous Hollywood Sign!

MARCH 12th [before or after CraftNight, of course] >>> Pantsuit Power Hour at The Must, with prizes and pretty pantsuits galore!

MARCH 13th – 28th >>> PaleyFest 2014 Panel discussions and actors from shows such as Lost, Madmen, Veep, American Horror Story and More… 

FRIDAY March 14th >>> Aero Theater presents The Master in 70mm at 7:30pm

SATURDAY March 15th >>> Double Feature at Cinefamily: Drinking Buddies/Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice 5pm

SUNDAY March 16th >>> L.A. Guild of Puppetry’s Big Green Puppetzilla Puppet Slam • Bootleg Theater • 6:30pm

 

Posted by on March 10, 2014 in Uncategorized

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Painty-Potty-Terry-Cotty • March 5th, 2014

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THIS WEDNESDAY MARCH 5th, 2014 from 9pm until midnight, at Akbar, it’s CRAFTNIGHT!!!
Project: Paint a Pot, Plant a Seed
Processing Fee: $2 donation please
Drink Special: The Lyla >>> $4 of fun! (yes, that photo is of Doris Day on a steamroller) 

Pardon my Garden, the rain stormed in here, whirled everything around and suddenly it’s March. The days are about to get longer, the sun shall soon return to what it was doing before it was interrupted by a ton of raindrops. That’s when I saw all the little terra cotta pots on a shelf and knew immediately what we’d be doing this week.
I have a couple of terra cotta pot sizes, I’ve got small and smaller, cute as the dickens, suitable for covering in plastic gems, googly eyes, felt scraps, yarn, you name it. The ever popular colorful acrylic paint will also be here, and remember planter sticks? Those are those thingies you stick in the dirt next to your plant so you don’t forget what you planted. They’re made out of wood, also suitable for customizing in the manner you desire. 

JP Craft Captain
www.akbarsilverlake.com
www.crafthead.com


Just Another Boring Week in LOS ANGELES… 

FAT TUESDAY

  1. The Original Farmer’s Market is having it’s 25th Mardi Gras Celebration, so much fun! Here’s info and here’s the flyer! 
  2. Olvera Street is also having Mardi Gras on Tuesday from 9am to 2pm >>> Brazilian Dancing, kid mask workshops, piñatas!

ASH WEDNESDAY
FREE DAY at the Craft and Folk Museum! They also hold their own CraftNights, go see! Lots of ways to learn new things!

SELF-REALIZATION THURSDAY
Free to the public, the Self-Realization Temple’s Gardens and Lake in Pacific Palisades are open Tues – Saturday

WES ANDERSON FRIDAY
The Grand Budapest Hotel opens March 7th

SHOE BLESSING FOLLOWED BY MEGA-GAYNESS SATURDAY 

  1. Ian MacKinnon’s Gay Historgy FEST!  For the first time ever all three parts of The Gay Hist-Orgy series will play together in one incredible evening.
  2. If running the marathon… and you want your shoes blessed, go to Our Lady of the Angels and get ’em blessed at noon. $8 parking fee. Sheesh. Walk/Bike/Bus!!!

LA MARATHON  SUNDAY [[[Daylight Saving Time (United States) 2014 begins at 2:00 AM on Sunday, March 9]]]

Watch a ton of people running all over LA! I hear that runners can get a free super sloppy chili cheese dog at mile 5… 

IN THE NEAR FUTURE…  
Umbrellas of Cherbourg at the Nuart starting March 14th for an entire week! 

 

Posted by on March 3, 2014 in Uncategorized

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Mardi Gras Preparedness • Feb 26th, 2014


THIS WEDNESDAY FEB. 26, 2014 from 9pm until midnight, at Akbar, it’s CRAFTNIGHT!!!
Project: Mardi Gras Preparedness 
Processing Fee: $2 donation please
Drink Special: $4 Trya Lyla, you’ll kiss the sky-ah! 

Craftnight’s not gonna let you skate by the end of this month without serious Mardi Gras Preparedness!
We are a bar, after all, and we are honor bound to appreciate hedonistic carnivalesque antics at their best (or worst?!?)
Our Tri-color-ops package includes a way to cover your face, commonly known as a “mask” and some beads for wearing and throwing.
If you are lucky, you’ll get a piece of home made King Cake!

Everyone thinks that the end of last year was the time to “let it all hang out and eat whatever” because of the difficult-to-resist culinary assault that comes with the year-end holidays. Following that, your stringent New Years Resolutions were supposed to whip you into shape and your whole personality and workout regime was going to have a complete overhaul.
Well… if that didn’t work out, there is still hope.
Use Fat Tuesday for a reboot. Put on that gem-spandex-fairy outfit, imbibe, dance, drink, use up allll your crazy on March 4th. Then  after the fight’s been partied out of you, brush off your hangover the next day, and then buckle down and get serious for awhile about those goals and aspirations. Or just stop eating fried chicken for 40 days, whatever’s easiest. 

JP Craft Captain
www.akbarsilverlake.com
www.crafthead.com


 

MARDI GRAS in LOS ANGELES! 

The Original Farmer’s Market is having it’s 25th Mardi Gras Celebration, so much fun! Here’s info and here’s the flyer! 

Long Beach Mardi Gras looks interesting, whaddya think?  

Amoeba on Hollywood is having it’s Annual Parade and Celebration on Fat Tuesday! 

Club Nokia’s Brazilian Carnaval costs some $$ but it’s nonstop in-your-face dancing, carousing, looks like a good time. 

OTHER VIGOROUS FUN

AMAZING BEAUTIFUL VIEW
FREE! Los Angeles City Hall’s 27th Floor Observation Deck | M-F 9am to 5pm, enter on Spring St. yes, there is a metal detector, just the facts, Ma’am.

SRIRACHA FACTORY TOUR 
FREE! M-F 9am – 3pm | Call (626) 286-8328 to schedule an appointment

TUESDAY FEB 25th OMG The Dalai Lama’s in Town 
A public talk on Non-Violence and the Effects of Compassion in the 21st Century in the afternoon organized by The Lourdes Foundation.

SATURDAY MARCH 1st: 
Akbar hosts’s the 5th Anniversary of Mario Diaz’s FULL FRONTAL DISCO that is 210% recommended for a very good time! [$5 | 21+]

 

 

Posted by on February 24, 2014 in Uncategorized

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Paper Doll “ARTIST” • February 19th, 2014

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TONIGHT! FEB. 19th, 2014 from 9pm until midnight, at Akbar, it’s CRAFTNIGHT!!!
Project: “ARTIST” paper doll, a craftnight CLASSIC!
Processing Fee: $2 donation please
Drink Special: $4 for The Lyla, a zesty concoction of whiskey and ginger beer!

Do you like to color? Tonight we bring you a coloring craft extraordinaire, where you get to color in a custom Craft Project illustrated and designed by your Craft Captain!
In 12 years of CraftNight, I think we’ve only done this project one other time, and it was probably about 4 or 6 years ago. It’s a very malleable craft, one where you don’t ever have to make the same thing twice. It consists of a body, and limbs that you attach with metal brads, so that you can pose it however you like! The final product is a wacky figure of an “Artist” of your making, made to express creativity as you see fit.
CraftNight Lieutenant, Elaine Walker, and possibly another CraftNight Lieutenant or two will be at the helm tonight, with everything you need to get artsy fartsy!
I am up north with my wonderful Grandmother, who just had her 92nd birthday, (WOOOO!!! Grandma, I know you read this! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!) and I’ll be back next week with another craft project for everyone at Akbar!
Come in and ART it up at CraftNight!
JP Craft Captain
www.akbarsilverlake.com
www.crafthead.com

 

Posted by on February 19, 2014 in Uncategorized

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Valentine Party LOVE-IN • February 12th, 2014

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This Wednesday, February 12th, 2014 from 9pm to 1:30am at Akbar, it’s CRAFTNIGHT!!!
Project: Valentine Party LOVE IN!!! 
$2 Donation, por favor
$4 DRINK SPECIAL!!! >>> Show some sass, put a Lyla in your glass! 

TATER TOTS • CRAFTNIGHT ROBOT • TREATS • AKBAR JUMBOTRON • LOVE! 

CraftNight believes in embracing both the delight and dread that comes with Valentines Day, so if you want to give and receive cards that are racy, crazy, lovely, smarmy, tacky, fancy, etc. you will find EVERYTHING YOU NEED to make what you want, exploring every sentiment you have. This is a DELUXE CraftNight, consider unlocking this achievement, it’s not to be missed.

See you at the Craft Table,

JP

It’s now time for my yearly diatribe about Valentine’s Day, as I am a lifelong Romance Activist. Feel free to read or skip, there’s also a list of stuff happening in LA at the bottom.

Every year I get to hear about how much people hate valentine’s day and every year, I roll my eyes and fall on the floor BORED TO DEATH. Oh the excuses!
“I hate Valentines Day Because”

  • Never had a valentine
  • Just a Corporate scheme
  • New relationship, don’t want valentines day to “mean” something
  • Price of Roses  = Highway robbery
  • Too much pink
  • Valentines Day is every day, traditions are dumb

blah blah BLAHHHHHHH!!!! 

If you’re going to hate Valentine’s Day, consider avoidance of hating it in the cliché way (drinking with single friends by self, doing nothing at all, eating ALL the chocolate and crying by yourself, proudly criticizing all the tackiness and shoddy merchandise on the shelves) If you’re gonna hate, hate WELL, and hate inventively.

  1. In protest of Valentines Day, take a vow of silence, and do not talk to or interact with your partner (or anyone else!) for 24 hours.
  2. Get wasted, call every ex you’ve ever had and make fart sounds into their answering machines, OR live, should they pick up.
  3. Purchase heart-shaped piñata, fill with packets of JELL-O pudding, invite friends to smash.
  4. Drive to LA’s most romantic make-out vistas (Griffith Park Observatory, Mulholland Drive, Beachwood Canyon Overlook, etc.) blast Peter Cetera really loudly, and throw those chalky valentine candies at people trying to kiss.
  5. Wear only a thong and give unwanted hugs at an advanced film premiere of “Winter’s Tale” 

“Valentines Day should be every day” who are we kidding, it’s not, it’s just not. It’s not sustainable, because laundry, life chores, etc. and you kind of have to get back to everyday maintenance, valentine or no valentine. But there is always room for practicing bits of generosity when you can find the time, so if you’re not totally anti-Valentine’s Day, this holiday is still useful for taking the time to plant new and surprising varietals of kindness:

  1. SELF – I know I know, Calgon take me away but c’mon! Treat yourself to a 3 Terrabyte hard drive, buy the fancy bougie artisan salt you’ll never let yourself have, start that weird project you’ve got in your back pocket, buy the shoes, visit the salon, try some “tough love” and do the difficult things you don’t like doing but are essentially good for you (taxes, health insurance, budgeting, other paperwork).
  2. FRIENDS/FAM – Call the old friend who is gonna love hearing your voice, send Grandma a hand-written letter, recognize the sacrifice and love it took your caretaker or parent to give when you were a junior-high brat, babysit for some parents who could use a night out, mop the floor even if it’s not your turn, remind your mentor/role model how they inspire you, surprise your neighbor with a rhyming card and a package of energy-saving lightbulbs.
  3. FOR KIDS – OMG The Lego Movie even if you hate stuff like that take your friends kids who are hyperventilating every time they see the poster, show your nieces and nephews how to properly roll down a grassy hill, instill lasagna making skills in every 8 year old you meet, make ’em a valentine’s day scavenger hunt.
  4. PETS – Take dog to water feature or off-leash park/trail, give cat most obnoxiously-priced cat from pet store, give turtle organic greens and let ’em walk around on fresh grass, put opening-closing treasure chest that blurts bubbles into fish tank, take parrot on exciting excursion, whatever makes ’em happy!
  5. ABSTRACT – Visit someone’s marker at the cemetery (or however you wanna remember them), Donate time or money to a charity who gives love and help to those in need, make or deliver some meals, do some meditation on love and send some outward with your mind. Send love to the invisible, the forgotten, the lonely, the darkest and most desperate, sad and angry parts of yourself,  the stuff we try to keep ourselves from seeing.

Consider letting February 14th be your “excuse” to make love an impetus for change. 

Okay, thanks for reading, now onward to the goings ons!

CITY LOVE! 

It’s Los Angeles Zine Week! All over the place you can find events, readings, workshops and exhibitors galore!

FEB 12th: Pantsuit Power Hour – Head to the Must after CraftNight to hand out your business-style valentines, maybe you’ll get a Valentine Business promotion or bonus!

FEB 13th: Los Angeles Artwalk! Free, fun, and celebrating art every month!

FEB 15th: Planet Queer’s LOVE ROCKET From Ian MacKinnon and Travis Wood is a fabulous night of performance, art, music, community and MORE (at Akbar!)

My favorite chocolate shop in LA is Teuscher in BH, every bit worth taking my Echo Park butt across LaBrea, how about you? Of course, the Chocolate Indulgence Tour might be an interesting way to find more cocoa in your cocopuffs.

Be a Virtual Valentine Volunteer right now from where you’re sitting (Volunteer Match!)

One last thing (emphasis 2:34):

 

Posted by on February 11, 2014 in Uncategorized

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