This Wednesday, April 9th, 2014 from 9pm until midnight (or later) at Akbar, it’s CRAFTNIGHT!!!
Project: Alligator Puppets
$2 Processing fee, please
$4 Drink Special: “The Lyla” The Cocktail for People Who Can’t Brush After Every Meal! 

Alligator Puppets?!? That’s a croc! No really! We’re making stick puppets of a “living fossil” favorite. Alligators have been around a looooong time, these cold blooded creatures deserve some respect for their evolutionary excellence, so we’re deeming them CraftNight’s spirit reptile for this week.

You can only find alligators in the US and China, and aptly enough, these little foam-piece puppets were manufactured in China, just like real gators! If you take care of your alligator puppet, it might last even longer than a real alligator. An average alligator has a lifespan of somewhere between 30 – 50 years. Your alligator puppet will also weigh considerably less than a real alligator, about a 1,000 lb. and 10 foot difference, much more manageable and convenient for supper parties and long plane trips.

But real bona fide alligators are more fragile than you may have thought: Airlines in the US habitually run over at least one alligator a year on runways! And an alligator must raise it’s head to swallow and an alligator can’t move its tongue, (another reason alligators are not known for being especially loquacious.) If you really want to be freaked out about an animal in the wild that kills, read about mosquitos… but I’m getting off topic.

Did you spend part of your childhood curled up with “animal fact” books and fantasize how to escape sharks, bears and alligators? I did, and I JUST FOUND OUT after feeling really smug after all these years that running in a zig-zag formation to escape an alligator on land is total bunk. Alligators don’t really care about you or I as a food source or much anything else, so even if an alligator had a LOT of coffee and changed its mind and got off its lazy ass to chase you, it would max out at 10 mph, as far as land-chasing options.

Alligators are FAST in the water though, we’re talking 20 mph fast, and while you are still a very unappealing option for an alligator meal, it’s always best to be cautious in gator territory. If alligator PUPPETS are nearby, however, I can’t guarantee safety,  you’re on your own, there’s no hope. Alligator puppets have been known to dress up in home made outfits, behave aggressively and tell horrible jokes. The only way to know if I’m telling the truth, however, is to come on into Akbar and make an alligator puppet and make it snappy. Hahahaaaa….

See you at the Craft Table,
JP Craft Captain

www.akbarsilverlake.com
www.crafthead.com