CRAFTNIGHT!

This Wednesday, May 18th, 2011 from 9pm – midnight at Akbar it’s CRAFTNIGHT!!!
Project: ALLIGATOR CLIPS!
$2 Processing fee, please
$4 Cosmo specials, in the color of hot pink!

This week’s CraftNight totem animal is the alligator.
If you’re an alligator, you know that it’s all about waiting.
Wait patiently for what you want. Hang out in the mud and the sludge, and embrace the quiet, and sooner or later, something delicious is going to come wading through the water.
It’s inevitable.
Once it’s in your sites, GRAB IT IN YOUR BONE-CRUSHING JAWS AND DON’T LET GO!!!
Of course, if you’re not an alligator, and you’re wading around in what seems to be a peaceful and quiet swampy landscape… I’d probably seek higher ground, but that’s just me.
We’re living in extraordinary times, if you don’t know the answer to something, you can just look it up on the internet, and never know the angst of experiencing an unanswered question ever again. “Not knowing” is becoming an art. Instinct, the hunch, the tingly sensation at the back of your neck, or the itchy palms you get when someone says something really weird: these things are not to be dismissed or forgotten.
The alligator knows all about intuition.
Are you listening to the subtleties of everyday life?
Do you know when to hide in your lair, or poke your eyes above the water, or take action and snap?
Are you gathering, absorbing and digesting things in a way that is fulfilling to you?

These are, like, totally deep questions. While alligators are deep… gator clips are decidedly not deep.
At CraftNight, this alligator clip magnet thing is so easy, you could probably put it together with one hand tied behind your back, it’s very uncomplicated. Seriously, it practically makes itself! This is an excellent introductory craft, or one to make when you’ve had more than three cocktails, because it won’t ask that much of you. Come in and try it!

See you at the Craft Table,
JP Craft Captain

CraftNight’s Site

Akbar’s Site

This Wednesday, May 11th, 2011 from 9pm – midnight at Akbar it’s CRAFTNIGHT!!!
Project: Deluxe Bird Nests (with three birds included!)
$2 Processing fee, please
$4 Cosmo specials served up by the world’s most handsome bartender

Have you been hearing all that stuff about working on your nest egg?
So have I, so I decided to get literal and give you the opportunity to build your very own nest in honor of spring having sprung! It comes with THREE birds (and googly eyes, might I add) and the amount of plumage, style of the nest and so on is entirely up to you.
This is a seriously juicy craft, you can really BRING IT if you want to get crazy. You can name your birds “Huey, Duey and Luey” or “Letty, Petty and Yetti” or “Snap Crackle & Pop” I’ve been holding onto these supplies until the right time, and NOW is that time.

If you’re not sure how to decorate your nest, here are some holidays within the month of May that, while are not federal, definitely add some pizazz to the year:

MONTH OF MAY – National BBQ Month, National Bike Month, National Salsa Month, National Older Americans Month
THIS WEEK IN MAY – Dating and Life Coach Recognition Week, National Etiquette Week, National Reading is Fun Week
MAY 11th – National Receptionist’s Day, National Night Shift Workers’ Day, Eat What You Want Day

There are flowers all over the place, mockingbirds have returned to the roost, the sky is poofy with clouds and breezes, it’s the perfect time to celebrate your basic goodness and the warm-hearted joy of the season with a crafty mini-packet of DIY jollification.

See you at the Craft Table,
JP Craft Captain

CraftNight’s Site

Akbar’s Site

This Wednesday, May 4th, 2011 from 9pm until midnight, at Akbar, it’s CRAFTNIGHT!!!
Project: Lil’ Sombreros, Happy Cinco de Mayo!
$2 processing fee, please
$4 cosmopolitan drink special

Happy Cinco de Mayo!

Maybe you don’t think of yourself as a sombrero person. I’m here to change that. It’s a VERY good time to start making crazy changes, grand sweeping gestures, complete overhauls, spring cleaning, etc.

These sombreros were most probably vacu-formed in a facility in China, sold to people in America, thus, they are Chinese-American hats that celebrate Mexico, very multi-culti. They are small and could perhaps fit a cat (not recommended.) I think their original use was to put salsa in the brim for your handful of tortilla chips.

These lil’ plastic sombreros need YOU. They are sort of bland, not even remotely worthy of the excitement that they could promise, they need you to give them an attractive combination of vitality and glamour. You can do this, because, come to think of it, you are a sombrero person.
The weather is calling you to our lovely neighborhood oasis, don’t miss this opportunity to show off your new tiny hat, you can do the easiest Mexican Hat Dance in existence.

Muy Caliente!

See you at the Craft Table,
JP Craft Captain

Crafthead’s Site

Akbar’s Site

This Wednesday, April 27th, 2011 from 9pm – midnight at Akbar, it’s CRAFTNIGHT!!!
Project: Wooden Slide Whistles
$2 processing fee, please
$4 cosmopolitans, very tasty

Slide Whistle! Swanee! Piston Flute! Jazz Flute!
However you want to call it, it’s here, it’s made of wood, and YOU can paint your very own and make crazy sounds with a puff of air from your windbag! The construction is kind of like a bicycle pump… in this case, a really really CHEAP bicycle pump.
Slide whistles are known for that crazy sound in old movies when someone slips on a banana peel or when something is falling down. The “swanee” has been in existence since the 1840s, thanks to an English family that invented/manufactured/sold them, and it caught on in the USA around the 20s.
It’s still kickin’ this type of whistle, most famously when someone hits rock bottom in Wheel of Fortune OR the song “Groove is in the Heart” by Deee-Lite! Remember? Wooooooooooo (down) Weeeeeeeeeeee! (up)
People think it’s just a toy, but it’s so much more.
Please keep in mind, however, that these are the most ridiculous slide whistles I’ve ever seen. You’ll have to practice and develop serious dexterity to be able to play melodies and sound effects on these… I would not say they are professional quality by any means. But they DO work. Come in and see for yourself.

ALSO: George is coming in to sell his “DON’T BE A DICK” shirts to raise money for the Trevor Project. His goal is to sell 5,000 t-shirts, so we’re going to see George A LOT this year! If you want more of an explanation, please read THIS POST I wrote two weeks ago, it tells you about the shirts and the cause. Come in and get a shirt, they’re comfy and funny and they look great!

See you at the Craft Table!
JP Craft Captain
www.crafthead.com
www.akbarsilverlake.com