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This Wednesday, February 24th, 2010 at Akbar, from 9pm until 12-ish or so it’s CRAFTNIGHT!!!

Project: Make Your Own Dry-Erase Board!

$2 Processing fee, please

$4 Cosmo special! Woo!

On the Akbar-tron: OLYMPICS! Short Track star Apolo Ohno returns to the ice for the 500m live (ET/CT). Also, Lindsey Vonn in the giant slalom. Plus, women’s aerials, Cross Country and Bobsled. Athletes in tight body suits! Woo!

The word “organization” comes from the Greek word Organon (a derivative of the word ergon.) We’re only in the second month of 2010, there are a lot of plans to be made for the year ahead: phone numbers, dates, ideas, terminology, schematics, all kinds of enjoyable and excellent things that make your life HAPPEN. Better write some of it down… Have we got the craft for you!

White boards became de rigueur in the 80s, even though they were first invented in the 60s. It started when all these kids in the classrooms started hacking and coughing up chalk dust, kicking off a nation-wide classroom health panic. Inventors went to work to try to save the children. Voila! Now today’s students all over the country are safely falling asleep to sines and cosines written in a plethora of colors on glossy surfaces that are allergy-free! And this can be you too, but don’t just stop at trigonometric functions!

Supplies for this evening’s CraftNight include a technologically-advanced dry-erase surface, as well as a handy frame and lots of shapes for decorating, as well as YOUR VERY OWN DRY-ERASE PEN! Use your dry-erase board to write down the nuances and benefits of the day! Your dry-erase board can be a temporary diary, a shopping list, a way to post the soup of the day! Extremely light-weight and easy to carry, and even easier to update with new information on the spot, this fantastic DIY whiteboard is better than a computer and about 99.9% less expensive than one.

Incredible value!

See you at the Craft Table!

JP Craft Captain

CraftNight’s Website

Akbar’s Website

This Wednesday, February 17th, 2010 from 9pm until 12-ish or so, at Akbar, it’s CRAFTNIGHT!!!

Project: Medals

$2 Processing Fee, Please

$4 Cosmo Drink Special

ALERT: Want to know what crafts are coming in the weeks ahead? I just updated the Main CraftNight Website! CRAFTHEAD.COM Check it out and see what’s on our itinerary!

Now then… it has come to pass that the 2010 Winter Olympic Games are happening, and to get into the spirit of things, we’re going to make our very own medals at CraftNight! Though everyone has their ups and downs once in awhile, and you may feel strange or like there are too many things to do and not enough time, or too much time and nothing to do, what’s totally true is that YOU ARE A CHAMPION. I’m not lying. Just standing there and slurping your coffee, or staring off into space, or spilling burrito juice on your shirt, you are AMAZING.

Pat yourself on the back for having had the common sense to come into being and arrive into the world not knowing a SINGLE THING, only to have grown and prospered to the point of being able to sit here and read this bulletin like it ain’t no big deal. Well, it is a big deal, and you get to make yourself a MEDAL. It doesn’t have to be a special occasion (although I’m not going to rule that out, of course), you can use it for FUN, or use it for identification, heck, put your favorite quote in there or a photo of the town you grew up in, it’s YOUR 2.5″ plastic circle, do what strikes your fancy!

Sadly, I wasn’t able to acquire actual GOLD metals for CraftNight, but I know you’re clever and can rock the paper and plastic like a champ! Once you have your sassy self-made metal around your neck (ribbon included) I hope you gain a sense of belonging, as you are part of the really neat-o human race of champions!

Also, in case you’re worried about missing any exciting Olympic moments, we’ll be broadcasting the Olympics (on mute, while music plays) during CraftNight. This means that as you craft, you can gaze up at the screen, if you like, and observe someone in very brightly-colored technologically advanced gear performing highly specialized perfected activities that could only be possible after a lifetime of insanely dedicated training.

See you at the Craft Table!

JP Craft Captain

CraftNight’s Site

Akbar’s Site

This Wednesday, February 10th, 2010 from 9pm until LATE, at Akbar, it’s VALENTINE SQUAREDANCE BONANZA!!!

Project: Valentines… duh. And Square Dancing, ha!

SPECIAL GUESTS: Triple Chicken Foot playing LIVE music with expert calling from the foxy sublime Ms. Cory Marie Podielski!

$2 processing fee, please – NO DANCE EXPERIENCE NECESSARY, We got you covered. And yes, we’ll have the usual supplies for coloring, cutting, gluing valentines and the like.

$4 cosmo drink special – very romantic!

This upcoming Valentine’s Day is going to be Sunday the 14th, what better way to prepare than crafting and receiving valentines, imbibing cocktails and square dancing with real fiddle, guitar and bass?!? IT’S GOING TO BE SO MUCH FUN!!!!

This night is very special, but for some of you, this night might be one big BLACK HOLE. There are many people who feel funny about ARTS-N-CRAFTS, DANCING and VALENTINES DAY. All three of these things might make you break out into a cold sweat, or have feelings of instant weirdness. If this is you, here’s my personal pep-talk:

At some point in your life, maybe someone was TOTALLY DUMB and said something derogatory about your drawing/painting/craft project, whether it be a well-meaning teacher, a critical relative, or some kind of competitive/jealous bully. And perhaps at another interval, you saw someone snickering at your badass dance moves, or you slipped and bit the dust trying to do the moonwalk and split your pants in half and never lived to hear anyone talk about anything else for three weeks. And MAYBE you made a Valentine for someone and they didn’t even notice, or worse, they did notice and behaved like an ignoramus, and you decided protect yourself forevermore by adopting the theory that Valentines Day is just some kind of lame corporate ploy to make people spend money, it’s all pressure and dumb stuffed bears, etc. etc. etc. (enter bitter speech here.)

You have THREE choices:

1.) Give in to your fears and pass on one of the BEST nights of your life at Akbar/Craftnight this Wednesday. SAD!

2.) Dissect your fears in a detached and bemused fashion that makes you rationalize stuff to the point of being like :Oh Well, yeah, whatever, it was what it was, but I don’t feel like going, I’m going to stay home and watch TV. ALSO SAD!

3.) You can TRULY REFLECT on your fears, and remember that BIG BAD BULLY, or UPTIGHT CRITICAL RELATIVE or APATHETIC NON-RESPONSIVE CRUSH FROM 7th Grade (or community college), and those UNRELENTING COOL KIDS are waaaaaay back there, from some other part of  your life! Those naysayers, critics, bullies, sticks-in-the mud not only aren’t around, but they never had any real say in how awesome you are, and THEY STILL DON’T!!! When you hear those constricting voices from the past, those ancient crusty thoughts trying to break you down, just kick ’em in the crotch and LET GO. Allow yourself to manifest, emerge and be free! Jump the brick walls and have some fun, dammit.

Crafts are about INSPIRATION, Dancing is about JOY, Valentines Day is about LOVE.

You’re a Crafter, You’re a Dancer, You’re a Lover.

You have it all, don’t let it go to waste, join us Wednesday night, we’ll be waiting.

See you at the Craft Table,

JP Craft Captain

CraftNight’s Website

Akbar’s Website

TONIGHT! February 3rd, 2010 from nine-ish to midnight-ish at Akbar, it’s CRAFTNIGHT!!!

Project: Dragons and Snakes! (and more…)

$2 processing fee, please

$4 cosmo drink special — oh shangri-la! Ha-Ha!

Chinese New Year is coming up February 14th, but we’re going to have a serious Square Dance/Valentine Jamboree next week, so I thought I’d start early and gussy up this week’s hump day with DRAGONS!!! And yes… I know I know I KNOW it’s the year of the tiger, but they didn’t have tigers at the store… they had snakes, which, when you see them I think you’ll agree, can be turned into dragons with a little ingenuity. This is an elaborate assemble-n-paint craft, detailed and highly engrossing, enhanced mightily by delicious cocktails from Akbar’s handsome and generous bartenders.

Dragons, no matter what year it is, represent power, strength, success, luck and honor, and who doesn’t want any of that?!? And of course, if I run out of dragons and snakes… you might be able to make something else quite unexpected. I’ve got tricks up my sleeve, and I’m not revealing another shred of information, in order to leave you as intrigued as possible. Not only that but while perusing the aisles of one of my favorite crafting haunts, I found a really AMAZING mystery craft, and I’m holding a FREE DRAWING for you to win it! Winners will also be receiving passes to WIG-OUT tomorrow night!

Tomorrow is WIG-OUT, western style, you should come and shake a tail-feather, I’ll be presenting a “western mini-craft” and there will be a bit of square dancing with Triple Chicken Foot and Corie Marie calling like she does (excellently.) There will be the wonderful cabaret and that free fun feeling we’ve come to associate with wigs and Wig-Out! Here’s all the news: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=279004861957&ref=mf

See you tonight at Akbar, it’s the little side room with the awnings, and long slab of craft supplies and people covered in sparkles.

JP Craft Captain

CraftNight’s Website

Akbar’s Website

This Wednesday (tonight) January 27th, 2010 from 9pm (ish) until 12-ish at Akbar, it’s CRAFTNIGHT!!!

Project: Groundhog Craft

$2 processing fee, please

$4 Cosmo Drink Special, OOOH LA- LA!

I know all of you have been working hard on your Groundhog Day Resolutions, and hopefully, everyone will get the customary 5 days off in observance of the most important weather prognostication holiday that falls on February 2nd. It’s very dire, in Los Angeles, understanding whether we will get 6 more weeks of winter or otherwise, as winters in Los Angeles are so freaky! So I’ve prepared a groundhog craft for you, and you can mail it to Punxatawney Phil (worlds most famous groundhog) or someone out on the east coast who is probably kind of cold right now.

ALSO: Next week on February 4th is WIG-OUT at the Bordello, we’ll be giving out some FREE passes, and some HALF-OFF passes from the lovely Jean Spinosa AKA Jeanatalia! It’s going to be a WESTERN HOE-DOWN, awesome squaredance boogie and amazing performances cabaret-style! I’ll be performing a mini-craft on stage, so come check that out if once-a-week crafting isn’t enough and you need to fit MORE crafting into your busy schedule.

See you at the Craft Table!

JP Craft Captain

CraftNight’s Site

Akbar’s Site