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TONIGHT! Wednesday March 24th, 2010 from 9pm – midnight or so, at Akbar, it’s CRAFTNIGHT!!!

CRAFT: Amazing clothespin craft!!!

$2 processing fee, please

SPECIAL MUSICAL GUEST STARS: The Scumbags • Music to craft by at Akbar!

The sensationalism and puffery that comes with the true and understated brilliance of making clothespin crafts threatens to maniacally restructure the Silverlake social landscape. Don’t worry though, in this postmodern bric-a-brac bricolage world, it really does come down to the quiet and pleasurable act of gluing, painting, and seeing. We’re going to get vast with our mental possibilities, shut out all those distractions, and see what craftiness can be done with a clothespin.

The clothespin I’ll hand to you is the old-fangled kind, two pieces of wood with the little metal springy-thingy that makes it clamp tight to anything. I tried clamping one on my earlobe, it was uncomfortable. It was a crisp, uncomplicated pain, what else could one expect from an item that needs to hold up wet sheets on a clothesline? Have you ever seen a butterfly clothespin magnet? It’s like being immersed in another world to see one of these, it’s both beautiful, and slightly useful… strange, beguiling, comforting. On a planet where the rapid heartbeat of the multitasking masses are daily curdling mornings and nights into blocks of jam-packed efficiency… the clothespin butterfly can help bring us back to us.

You don’t have to make a butterfly though, you can just paint yours a cool color, or make it into a tiny replica of someone you know, or turn it into a desert animal or write a really tiny poem on it. Tiny poems should just be everywhere anyway, not just on clothespins.

See you at the Craft Table!

JP Craft Captain

PS – I’m in a show in NY at Giant Robot! Check my site JuliannaParr.com I made some dioramas! Should be a great show, lots of tiny art for small spaces!

CraftNight’s Site

Akbar’s Site

This Wednesday, March 17th, 2010 at Akbar from 9pm until 12-ish it’s CRAFTNIGHT!!!

Project: Paddy O’ Paper Toys

$2 Processing fee please and remember: our drink special is the glorious $4 cosmo!

Did you know that the Chicago River is dyed green every St. Patrick’s Day? I sure didn’t! Remember to wear green at CraftNight, otherwise you may be pinched affectionately by one of your fellow crafters!

We’ve a bevy of funtime paper toys depicting Irish items and the general Wearing of the Green. You color them, cut them, assemble them, and wow people with fantastic amusement from a bygone era! Paper toys are so COOL, yet people don’t ever seem to make enough of them, and we’re here to change that. Come in and see what I’m talking about, and I’m serious about wearing GREEN to CraftNight… hey, it’s your butt, you can decide if you want it pinched or not!

See you at the Craft Table,

JP Craft Captain

CraftNight’s Site

Akbar’s Site

This Wednesday, March 10th, 2010 from 9pm to 12-ish, at Akbar, it’s CRAFTNIGHT!!!

Project: Dry Erase Boards

$2 Processing fee, please!

2 weeks ago, I was sick sick sick! Dry-erase boards were NOT made, CraftNight did NOT happen! THIS WEEK IS DIFFERENT. I am no longer afflicted with the horrid flu, and dry-erase boards are here and they are SO COOL, I can’t even tell you. I’m not going to tell you. You just need to step into this place, however, because as far as the forecast is concerned, it won’t be raining, so you have no excuse. The Oscars are OVER, BIG LOVE is finished, Tivo exists, just record (fill in the blank) and watch it later, and come make a DRY ERASE BOARD this week! If you need to know more about dry-erase boards, check out my prior post… it’s extremely informative.

Inspiration is all around you, especially at Akbar, our little neighborhood oasis. We implore you, come take advantage of our patented $4 cosmo, it will fill your mind with bright pink liquid epiphany… and perhaps some tiny pastel-colored elephants pirouetting on the tip of your nose. It’s been known to happen…

See you at the Craft Table,

JP Craft Captain

CraftNight’s Site

Akbar’s Site

This Wednesday, March 3rd, 2010 from 9pm until maybe even 2am at Akbar, it’s CRAFTNIGHT!

Project: Chip Sculptures

$2 Processing fee, please

SPECIAL GUEST: DJ EZ CHEEZ whipping up some serious bright orange wax for your listening pleasure!

And… we’re BACK! This CraftNight is unprecedented in its glory. I spoke with the Chip Daddy, you see. Who is the Chip Daddy? The Chip Daddy is kind of like Santa Clause, only with chips. The Chip Daddy is probably haunted by memories of Mexican gunmen. The Chip Daddy most likely is friends with human teenagers who will eventually become vampires. The Chip Daddy is not above taking photos of a 4594-pound rubber band ball (world’s largest, in fact.) Face it. The Chip Daddy is RAD. The Chip Daddy, ladies and gentlemen, has made this night possible, by blessing CraftNight with many many many mini-bags of cheese-flavored cornmeal snacks. We’re not just talking about any cheese-flavored cornmeal snacks, however, the Chip Daddy has delivered the BOLD variety of American favorites, that’s right, these shall be your sculpture materials:

1.) Flamin’ Hot Cheetos & Crunchy Jalapeño Cheddar (good for pillars, framework, doorways, barricades)

2.) Chili Cheese Fritos (curled shape that is excellent for creating foundations or roof decor)

3.) Doritos – Spicy Nacho & Sweet Chili (flat triangular shape which can be used to make walls, roofs, anything…)

You will be given bags of chips, bean dip and possibly canned cheeze product to help hold your sculpture together. If you don’t like what you’ve made, you can just EAT IT! Please be advised… this is an MSG-tastic affair, if you’ve never eaten a Flamin’ Hot Cheeto before, consume CAREFULLY. I ate a few, and thought my stomach might sprout wings and fly out of my body from ingesting the crazy laboratory-miracle-hotness. But I am in the minority. Let me just inform you now, in case you’re in the dark, that grade school  kids  in this nation go TOTALLY NUTZO for the Flamin’ Hot Cheetos. Need your lawn mowed? Car washed? Need weeding done in the garden? Firewood split and arranged into a neat accessible pile? Seriously, dangle a bag of Flamin’ Hot Cheetos in front of a group of 4th graders and watch them lunge at it in mindless rabid avarice. Kids will dig a moat around your entire house, install two elevators and a funslide from the roof and figure out how to light it like a fairytale princess castle… if you can just make sure you pay them in enough Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.

Sure, it’s cute now, but remember, their tolerance for the nuclear snacks is way stronger than you might think. We are building super humans that will be able to eat car parts and barbed wire for breakfast.

Anyway, I’m not sure where I’m going with this, just come see us and make your fingertips bright orange.

See you at the Craft Table!

JP Craft Captain

PS- Next week we’ll bring back the dry-erase board project: promise!

CraftNight’s Site

Akbar’s Site

Dear Crafters,

Bleah, I’m SICK! 102.6º fever, chills, aches, dizziness… you don’t wannit.

You can STILL catch olympics at Akbar though, they’ve got cable, and the skiing is happening! The wednesday drink special: cosmos for $4 is going strong as usual!

We’ll continue our regular programming the following week. Sorry for the late notice, I was hoping I’d get better today… alas, alack.

JP Craft Captain