Author Archives: jp

Age does not protect you from love. But love, to some extent, protects you from age. ~Anais Nin

Craftnight@Akbar! Sept 18th, 2019 @9pm to ’round midnight or later…  $3 suggested donation Project: Foxes, Raccoons, Canoes and MORE!

It’s hard to find a CUTER craft than this week’s little kits I’ve hand-assembled just for you.

ALL of the kits feature felt pieces, pipe cleaners, sticky bits, and a little bit of stitchery. SOME of the kits feature a canoeing raccoon, or a canoeing fox. SOME of the kits have a sunflower, or a wild turkey finger puppet, or a scarecrow, or other fall-season fauna!

Fall season fauna?!?  

Yes! We are approaching Fall, and don’t be a ninny and be the 1,000th person to tell me that Los Angeles doesn’t have weather.

The ENTIRE EARTH tilts on its axis for Autumn, which means everything on earth is effected, and that includes Southern California. 

LA has weather, but if you’re not into nuance, then you’re not gonna notice. Here are some of the ways to know: 

The days are getting shorter, the shadows are longer, the quality of light shifts and the sky is gonna get dazzling bombsicle blue. Berries are at their peak for harvest, starlings begin their mumerations. Jews have to leave work for a bunch o’ holidays that will close half of Hollywood, lower traffic, and confuse gentiles. People who live in Malibu are going to start dressing like they live in Ireland. Billboards are going to feature people wearing MORE clothes, not less. Pumpkin-Spice-Everything starts creeping into every coffee shop or grocery store you visit. 

And then… there are the Santa Ana Winds.
Prepare yourself for the most witchy, uncompromising, allergy-causing, supernatural, fiery blowhard hot bluster express that will bring you to your knees. The Santa Anas bring tense, wrathful moods to Angelenos, they connect you to your animal temperament, your base level, your werewolf nature.
Everything feels edgy, sharp, and weird. We can’t wait! 

While we get ready for that eventuality, bring yourself to our delightful queer haven of libations, music, fellowship, and crafting! 

See you at the Craft Table, Craft Captain JP 

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Sassy September

AKBAR AUGUST CRAFTNIGHT TONIGHT! 
Aug 28th CAMP SCENE BOX CRAFT KIT! 
@9pm to ’round midnight or later… 
$3 suggested donation
Project: Camp Scene Box Craft Kit! 

LAST WEEK I promised metal macaroni and those of you attending were NOT given that craft. The house was being treated for termites, we had to move a zillion things around, things got put who knows where… and I STILL can’t find the gold spraypaint. It’s dumb. 
Anyway… we’ll get back to that in September when I find it. Meanwhile, I have this REALLY COOL DIORAMA THINGER for you to have tonight and I REALLY DO HAVE IT. 
I’ve been staring at it all month because I can’t wait for us to make these. A diorama, as you know, is a a model representing a scene with three-dimensional figures. This kit comes with everything you need, and I’ll have sparklies and other bits for you to decorate and expand your vision with it to your satisfaction.

Bring yourself, bring your friends, I’ll have the cool air on, we’ll have the frosty beverages, music, all the stuff needed to sit right down and have yourself a grand arty time! 

See you at the Craft Table, Craft Captain JP 

As you sip your drink, your macaroni project will dry, and then, you will have an heirloom that will be cherished by future generations! You can also attach some kickass letter beads or gems or what-nots to your metallic creation and make onlookers thrill with delight!

See you at the Craft Table,
Craft Captain JP

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September Comin…

TONIGHT!AKBAR!
Aug 20th, BET YER BOTTOM BINGO! • 7:30-10:30
TOMORROW Aug 21st, CRAFTNIGHT! • Akbar • 9pm to midnight (or later) 
$3 suggested donation
Project: Camp Necklace

Aug 21st, CRAFTNIGHT! • Akbar • 9pm to midnight (or later) 
$3 suggested donation
Project: Metal Macaroni (it’s SO metal)

There will be different types of pasta, you’ll arrange them pleasingly in configurations you desire, then you will affix them permanently with glue. You’ll hand it to me or a CraftNight technician, and we’ll go paint it in our spray booth a GLORIOUS METALLIC GOLD.

As you sip your drink, your macaroni project will dry, and then, you will have an heirloom that will be cherished by future generations! You can also attach some kickass letter beads or gems or what-nots to your metallic creation and make onlookers thrill with delight!

See you at the Craft Table,
Craft Captain JP

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Hot August Things…

TONIGHT!
Aug 7th CRAFTNIGHT!
Akbar • 9pm to midnight (or later) 
$3 suggested donation
Project: Camp Necklace

Oooh, it’s August, oh yes it is.

And… it’s not cooling down, mercy me, LA is just getting started. As we skip merrily toward the full moon with each hot August night, we’re making enjoyable summer necklaces this week. They come with a lil’ flat design of a LOG. It’s not terribly compelling, but that’s YOUR job, right? To make it a SOMETHING!

Gather together the couture that suits your summer self with all the beads and baubles I’ll bring to this raucous Wednesday night. Wear your creation with the flowiest clothing you own and glide along your life pathway saying “dahling” over and over again to those you encounter. That’s my August suggestion.

I’d also recommend getting your buns out to the desert so you can go see the Perseid meteor shower next week, but… yah… that pesky full moon is just gonna be too darn bright. It’ll be hard to see space rocks flying through the wash of a silvery bright lunar glow.

Of course, such a gorgeous full moon in the desert provides the best opportunity to run naked through the junipers without a flashlight, so if you end up out there anyway, there’s always that.

AND: start bugging your friends with gardens for all that squash and zucchini that undoubtedly is coming out of their ears soon if not now! Tomatoes are at their luscious best right now, never better. California grows one helluva harvest, don’t miss it! Maybe one of your green thumb cronies will trade some of their vegetable crop for a totally cool customized LOG necklace!

See you at the Craft Table,
Craft Captain JP

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Hot August Things…