CRAFTNIGHT!

TONIGHT! Wednesday, August 26th, 2009 from 9pm ’til 12-ish, at Akbar, it’s CRAFTNIGHT!!!
Project: Lil’ black velvet postcard thingers
$2 processing fee, please

Oh JEEZ, what is that gargantuan INTENSE cloud that is NOT a cloud out there in the sky?!? It’s smoke from the Morris Fire, Azusa is ablaze! Flame lengths in excess of 30 feet, fire whirls with rapid rates of spread, September is almost HERE, and the fires are here to prove it. Are you brave enough to take a decongestant and visit me here at CraftNight?
Oh, I hope so.
It’s a coloring craft, black velvet vignettes, smaller than a postcard, petite and sweet, makes a perfect gift for a loved one OR an enemy!
You can make your own frame for it, festoon it with sparkly what-nots and sip a cool and refreshing $4 cosmo, our weekly drink special at Akbar.
And I’ll say it right here, right now: Bring a little sweater so that you don’t freeze your butt off at CraftNight, because I will have the air ON so that we can all breathe together in harmony. So you might be chilly, but you’re respiratory tract will thank me.
See you at the Craft Table!

JP Craft Captain

One more thing: CraftNight salutes Ted Kennedy, who was called into the great beyond today. Thank you for all your years of hard work, sir, you earned the nickname “The Democrat Republicans Love to Hate” quite well.

CraftNight’s Website
Akbar’s Website

TONIGHT! Wednesday, August 19th, 2009 from 9pm ’til midnight, at Akbar, it’s CRAFTNIGHT!

Project: Assemble and Paint Wooden forms of Industry

$2 processing fee, please

At long last, a deluxe craft you can really sink your teeth into (although, since this craft is wooden, you might want to think twice about applying the literal interpretation to your proclivities this evening).

I found these groovy little wooden parts-is-parts kits, there are tractors, some space shuttles, ships, and paddle balls! The paddle balls are the only kits that don’t require assembly, so you have no excuse, if you’re feeling lazy, I’ve already anticipated your sloth, it’s easy street, I swear. I got some new glitter, and more letter beads, get crazy!

It’s a new moon, time for setting your intentions for the weeks ahead, hunkering down and wondering if Los Angeles is going to hit us with it’s last leviathan-style merciless bout of  unbearable heat before settling into Autumn. The Harvest Moon is on it’s way, but we do have some sunshine summer fun before it’s time to store acorns… The 29th Annual SUNSET JUNCTION notwithstanding! Get out there and dance to Dengue Fever, Morris Day and the Time and Very be Careful, to name a few! Stop in at Akbar to cool your jets and enjoy our lovely neighborhood oasis, we’ll be open at 1pm Saturday and Sunday, make it the place to meet your pals before going into the belly of the beast!

See you at the Craft Table!

JP Craft Captain

CraftNight’s Site

Akbar’s Site

TONIGHT!!!
This Wednesday, August 12th, 2009 from around 9pm ’til midnight or so, at Akbar, it’s CRAFTNIGHT!!!
Project: Magnets!
$2 processing fee, please

Hey, there’s a meteor shower this week, the famed Perseids are here! For the next three nights or so, do yourself a favor if you’re a late night spectator, go find a dark patch of land, take a thermos and a blanket and watch the night sky throw some big ol’ glowin’ baseballs through the heavens, thrill-a-minute, guaranteed. 
Before you do that though, come make a fridge magnet or two with us over at Akbar. It doesn’t have to go on the fridge, it can go on your filing cabinet, or the car door, anywhere you need to post papers, reminders, photos, notes, whatever. 

Yay, get in here!
See you at the Craft Table,
JP Craft Captain

CraftNight Website 

Akbar Website

TONIGHT! Wednesday August 5th, 2009 from 9pm ’til midnight at Akbar it’s CRAFTNIGHT!!!
Project: Problematic Polynesian Appropriation Project
$2 Processing fee, please

Does anyone remember that episode of The Brady Bunch where Greg finds that “Bad Luck” Tiki and next thing you know, people are getting side aches from hula dancing, wiping out badly at surfing and tarantulas are trying to crawl into peoples pants? I’m hoping that when we make these foam tiki totem thingers that CraftNight doesn’t dive bomb into a chaotic taboo-laden spiral of Dionysian amorality.
Blame Ernest Raymond Beaumont-Gant, who opened the Polynesian-themed bar and restaurant in 1934 called “Don the Beachcomber.” He started it! And then there were all those soldiers coming back from the South Pacific with their exciting souvenirs after WWII, followed by Hawaiian Statehood which launched a countrywide fad for the loose and stylistic rip-off of hallowed ancient carvings and mythology of the Maori, Tahitians, Hawaiians, and other Pacific Islanders. As the Devil does indeed live in Hollywood, Los Angeles has a rich and determined habit of theming the hell out of everything it touches, hallowed-be-thy-customs-BE-DAMNED.

But I’m not kidding around here, it’s a FULL MOON tonight, and this stuff is REAL.

We’ve got foam tiki totem pre-made kits made in china, I mean… that’s what I got. If it freaks you out, re-purpose the parts and make a cannon for your grandma, or a fish catcher or a telescope, I’m in full support of whatever you decide to create. But IF you make a tiki totem on the full moon in our middle-eastern-themed gay bar this evening, make sure it’s made with TRUTH and LOVE and the full understanding that you are TIKI-ing at your own risk. If your cat starts talking to you, if green chest hair grows out of your nostrils, if you get beaten up by a Hawaiian football team, CraftNight wishes you well in your endeavors, but will definitely say “I told you so.”

But who knows, if you we do it just right, and set our sites on the positive, maybe the gods will smile on us (despite our clouded western attitude) and you’ll find $100 in your sock drawer, or you’ll get the promotion, or you’ll be in the Rose Parade as the star!

And if you’d like to take a serious look at the origins of the awesome people of the Pacific, see this LINK.

Also, if you have a lot of white liberal guilt, and need a brown person to stand next to in order to feel okay about making your Tiki, I can do this for you! I’m part Pacific Islander, and have extensive training in providing perfunctory symbolic efforts of multi-culti equality for those in turmoil wishing to do right by ethnic culture in the City of the Fallen Angels.

And if you want to wear nothing but a grass skirt and a coconut bra while you’re at it, I’m not going to complain.

I’m glad we could have this discussion. I’m not really sure how we’re going to figure all of this out, but let’s find out together, at CraftNight!

Okay. Full Moon, tiki totems, playing with fire,
See you at the Craft Table,
JP Craft Captain

PS- Painting of Kirk & Spock is by Isabel Samaras, check out her stuff. 

CraftNight’s Website

Akbar’s Website

 

This Wednesday, July 29th, 2009 from 9:00pm until 12-ish, at Akbar, it’s CRAFTNIGHT!!!

Project: Sun Visors

$2 processing fee, please

Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun, but I’ve never been able to make out the numbers.

Har de har, but seriously, you can’t live in Los Angeles and not know how to SPF. And you certainly will want to prepare for the next 2 months of mega-sun that comes with August and September. Unless you want to be Ms. Premature Raisin-head 2009, you’d best walk into CraftNight and make yourself a little ditty that will keep your eyes from wincing and wrinkling into a dehydrated apple-head doll on sale at those home town art fairs… wearing little flower dresses, brandishing tiny brooms. Do you want to hold a tiny broom?

Well?

DO YOU?

Okay then. Let’s get ahold of ourselves. Keep yourself young and beautiful and ravishing and eternal with your handy-dandy sun blocker, your VISOR that you’re going to decorate with US, your amazing friends at Akbar! Aren’t you in the mood for a sun-blockin’ party? I’ve got a certain number of visors to hand out, first come, first serve, if you get here late, you’ll just  have to do the auxiliary craft. What’s the auxiliary craft? That has yet to be seen, but you know, let’s hope you get here in time, I’ll be rootin’ for ya. And incidentally, if you stay up all night trying to see where the sun went, don’t worry… at some point it’ll finally dawn on you. Ha ha ha haaaaaaa!

See you at the Craft Table, 

JP Craft Captain

CraftNight’s Website

Akbar’s Website