Author Archives: craft captain

This Wednesday, March 4th, 2009 from 9pm until midnight (or later) at Akbar, it’s CRAFTNIGHT!!!

Project: Bits-N-Pieces

$2 processing fee, please!

Come out come out wherever you are! We’ve missed you, what are you doing, freaking out and staying home all the time because the news is reporting things that are freaky and weird? Well stop that! Honestly, you don’t need to be “Johnny-Fun-Bucks” to enjoy a night of crafting, we keep it real by keeping it cheap! Do not be incapacitated by the hysterical media and its constant squawking, we are meaning-seeking creatures who can create healing miracles of a symbolic aspect through CRAFTS! Uncloud your vision, put on your POWER PANTS and walk your bum over to paradise on Sunset Blvd. in glamorous Silverlake, California! The night lights will illuminate your perfect form, and we shall greet you warmly.

BUT CRAFT CAPTAIN… WHAT’S THE CRAFT?!?

You know, dear crafter, I think it’s just going to have to be a surprise, it’s BITS-N-PIECES night, and that’s all I’m going to tell you, don’t tell anyone there’s no mystery in your life, because hey, you definitely have some now if you didn’t before, I tellya. Your curiousity is just going to have to get the best of you, and you will just have to poke your nose into the back room… after getting your cocktail, of course.

One more thing, it is MS Awareness Week. I’m doing my part to make sure you’re aware of it.

See you at the Craft Table!

JP Craft Captain

CraftNight’s Site

Akbar’s Site

This Wednesday, February 25th, 2009 from 9pm til midnight (or so) at Akbar, it’s CRAFTNIGHT!!!
Project: Sand Art
$2 Processing fee, please

Are you feeling like life is humdrum, blah and boring? Do you feel like the excitement of life eludes you? Possibly, you haven’t yet tried sand art at CraftNight. If you have never peeled back paper on a sticky board and sprinkled some sand on it, in order to build an interesting design depicting something like a spaceship, a truck, or an airplane, well honestly, I don’t know how you’ve made it this long.
No wonder you’re experiencing the mulleygrubs, get in here!
Talk and sprinkle sand with other excited people! Help others with their sand-sprinkling skills, recharge or restart that good ol’ creative energy with $4 cosmos from the bar! Hey, if you’re feeling drained, sprained or pained, there’s nothing like CraftNight at Akbar to give you a little boost and enjoy a friendly dollop of magical technicolor dream-sand-poof-puff funtime.
For those of you who like to test your limits and embark on intense contemplative projects that involve fasting, the desert, talking to the sky, and acts of penance (followed by a celebration involving colored eggs and rabbits) tomorrow is Lent! So get yer Fat Tuesday on and then take two aspirin and call me in 40 days!
See you at the Craft Table,
JP Craft Captain
CraftNight’s Website
Akbar’s Website

This Wednesday, February 18th, 2009 from 9pm – 12-ish, at Akbar, it’s CRAFTNIGHT!!!

Project: Light Switch Plates!

$2 processing fee please

Drink Special: $4 stimulus cosmos!

Hmmm. This is not your father’s recession, it’s actually your grandfather’s recession. And well, Japan is having it’s own gnarly economic meltdown, so, in solidarity, I have prepared this little crafting haiku:

CraftNight invites you

Light Switch plates to decoupage

Play and think with hands

During times like these, it seems like it might seem easier to just stay inside, crawl under a rock and rely on those warm and dependable parasocial kinships with pets, plants and television characters. But lemme tellya, we need you! Give yourself a fancy kick in the rear, brave the cold, put on a hat and your lucky underwear and come play with us! CraftNight is a TOTAL BARGAIN, cheaper than 3 items from the 99 cent store! And if you don’t have 2 bucks, we never turn anyone away for lack of funds, we sold the CraftNight corporate jet AND got rid of the car and driver just so we can keep our weekly craft-klatch going strong. So not only is CraftNight affordable, but it also has been proven to banish away those moments of soul-wearying indifference that have become indicative of our modern age.

Bring your own collage materials if you want to really make your light switch distinctive in a specific way. (Pictures of pets, plants, television characters, etc.)

See you at the Craft Table!

JP Craft Captain

CraftNight’s Site

Akbar’s Site

This Wednesday, February 11th, 2009 from 9pm to midnight at Akbar, it’s CRAFTNIGHT!!!

Project: VALENTINES!!!

$2 CraftNight Stimulus Fund Donation, please

SPECIAL TREAT for any of you wearing any type of self-realized Valentine Outfit! (Lots of red, pink, white, purple, doilie, sparkly love-inspired attire.)

Okay Okay I KNOW how may of you feel about Valentine’s Day: It causes a lot of pressure, it’s just another holiday created by Hallmark to make us buy stuff, It’s a waste of paper, it makes people feel lonely who don’t have sweethearts, it’s cheezy and outdated and trite, every day should be Valentines day why make a big deal out of it, blah blah blah SNORE ZZZZZZZZZ…..

These are old mothball chestnut excuses from the boring unenlightened commercial materialist blowhards, pedantic axioms that contribute to the colorless, lazy doldrums of an uninspired existence. If you wanna believe the hype, that’s cool man, but you’ve been warned, because we’re celebrating LOVE at CraftNight, and you will not be spared our good tidings and hugs, no sireee!

You have the power to redefine and build your OWN meaning for Valentine’s Day! It is up to YOU, dear crafter, to extract as much joy out of the situation as possible. The power of love, is a curious thing, make a one man weep and another man sing. Change a hawk to a little white dove, more than a feeling, that’s the power of love.

At CraftNight, we’re making old-fashioned Valentines out of scraps, like we do every year! We shall celebrate LOVE for EVERYBODY, love positivity for society as a whole, embracing the world and stepping outside ourselves to reach out and tend to each other with handmade magic keepsakes made in our trademark atmosphere of bohemia and great cordiality.

Dionne sang it well “What the world needs now, is love, sweet love. It’s the only thing that there’s just too little of” she’s totally right. Get in here and lose the cool facade, be dorky and glue some stuff together for someone you care about, make a card for grandma, make a doilie ensemble for your wall, build a pipe-cleaner toy for your cat. As per usual, we’ll give you a valentine bag, and you will have the opportunity to make valentines for crafters you don’t even know!

And honestly, chalky candy hearts, strange mylar balloons, ratty stuffed bears dressed in vinyl cupid outfits and even edible underwear surreptitiously molded into the shape of a rose has fantastic camp value, so don’t dismiss these seasonal favorites at your local 7-11.

See you at the Craft Table,

JP Craft Captain

CraftNight’s Website

Akbar’s Website

This Wednesday, February 4th, 2009 from 9-ish till midnight, at Akbar, it’s CRAFTNIGHT!
Project: Postcards and Letters
$2 processing fee, please

I read something extremely distressing: The POST OFFICE IS IN TROUBLE!!! The postal service has reportedly lost an astonishing SEVEN POINT NINE BILLION DOLLARS in the past 2 years! Postmaster General John Potter says there was more than a 4% decline in mail volume last year. It hasn’t been this bad since 1775, the service asked Congress last week to cut down its delivery days from six to five days a week.
It’s true that we don’t need paper for everything anymore, which is great for trees and fuel and your pocketbook… but there is still a place for traditional mail in the electronic world, and in our hearts.
The handwritten letter is a dying art, it has the power to make someone’s day, it’s a treasure for the recipient, letters are by nature romantic, poetic, sensual and epicurean.
I just got a postcard from Montreal the other day, and I loved seeing the frayed edges from its travels, the expertly scrawled sentences from the friends I miss, and their obvervations, and the COOL stamp from Canada! It was at once this amazing time-warp-like exotic item that had indeed traveled through snow and sleet and gloom of night, from my postal carrier’s swift completion of his appointed round! And I thought “Gee, let’s tell the post office we love it, and make letters to people we love at CraftNight!”
One of the coolest things about the United States of America is our postal service, it lets you send love tokens to your kin for pennies on the dollar, an extraordinary value in today’s economy!
So that’s what we’re doing, making drawings, doodles, notes, letters, poems, pictures, bits of esoteric ephemera, etc. putting them in envelopes and SENDING THEM!
I will bring postcards, envelopes and paper. Bring your addresses, send correspondence to the homes of friends and relatives, people you know and love who want to see your handwriting.

And as of now, we’re starting a special snail mail campaign!

If you would like to receive a special letter from CraftNight and crafters, send your snail mail address to:

CRAFTNIGHT AT AKBAR
4356 Sunset Blvd.
Silverlake, CA.
90029

Got a sick friend? Need a cheer-up? Relatives overseas or in the service? CraftNight and/or crafters will send a postcard(s), all you have to do is tell us where to send it.
DO NOT e-mail me your address, ONLY requests made via post or in person will be honored, we’re being all ol’ fashioned about this.

See you at the Craft Table!
JP Craft Captain
ps- Though I am feeling fine and not contagious, I have laryngitis, so I won’t be able to talk much. I’ll have an instructional hand-out explaining the evening’s activities.
pps- We were going to be doing kaleidescopes this week, and for the last-minute change, apologies… but CraftNight is having some economic difficulties itself! Don’t worry, CraftNight won’t be going anywhere, but certain projects will be subject to change based on availability of materials, thank you for your understanding.

www.crafthead.com
www.akbarsilverlake.com