Author Archives: craft captain

This Wednesday, June 24th, 2009 from 9pm until midnight, at Akbar, it’s CRAFTNIGHT!!!
Project: Painting Plaster Figurines
$2 processing fee, please

I am typing this e-mail from Columbia, Missouri! I will be flying back in time to host CraftNight, and I hope to see you there! What are we doin? Oh, I found these little figurines of pirates, parrots, treasure chests, couple of football players, kittens, monkeys and some other weird stuff.
Come in, choose your figurine and get painting!
In the meantime, I’ve been swimming in the creek, avoiding lightning bolts, catching frogs, officiating a wedding, sitting on the porch and singing country music, picking out constellations, squealing every time I see a firefly (which means I’m squealing a lot…), and just having a bang-up time in the heartland.
See you at the Craft Table!
JP Craft Captain

CraftNight’s Site

Akbar’s Site

This Wednesday, June 17th, 2009 from 9pm until midnight, at Akbar, it’s CRAFTNIGHT!!! 

Project: Da Plane, Da Plane! (Little planes, yesirreeee.) 

$2 processing fee, please

 

Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Craft Captain speaking. 

On behalf of the flight crew, let me welcome you aboard CraftNight Flight 4356 to Akbar with continuing service to Echo Park, Downtown and Santa Monica. Flight Attendants, we’re cleared for take-off, set phasers for fabulous! We should touch Akbar at 9pm local time, depending on the reported headwind. 

 

(A little later…) Folks, we’ve just hit our cruising altitude of 11,000 feet. I’ve turned on the “Good Times”  light, which means you are now free to move about the cabin. The “Enjoy a Cocktail” light will remain on throughout the flight, in compliance with FAA regulations, as well as the “Make your own personal miniature flying wooden airplane at CraftNight” light, but please remember to fasten your seatbelt in case we encounter any overzealous inebriation. At this time, all cell phone ringers must be amplified, in case you hear from friends who need directions to Akbar, or in case you get a booty call and need to text them back and tell them to come to CraftNight of you ain’t puttin’ out.  

Please leave your inhibitions and doubts in their upright and locked position, you won’t need them on this trip, and please be careful opening overhead bins, because glittery doohickeys may have shifted during the flight.

 

(And a bit later…) Welcome to Silverlake International Airport. Local time is time to craft! We welcome you to Los Angeles, the city of paradoxical juxtapositions where in one fell swoop you’re shouting to your neighborhood bank teller through the customary 2-inches of plexiglass, while simultaneously noticing out of the corner of your eye that the fellow in line behind you wearing the ballcap and sunglasses who looks sort of like George Clooney actually IS George Clooney. 

Nuts, I tell you! 

We hope you’ve enjoyed your flight! We hope you choose CraftNight Airlines again for your next exciting journey. 

See you at the Craft Table!

JP Craft Captain

 

CraftNight’s Website (being updated this week! Promise!) 

 

Akbar’s Website

This Wednesday, June 10th, 2009 from 9pm until midnight, at Akbar, it’s CRAFTNIGHT!!!

Project: Pinecone Crafts!

$2 processing fee, please

In all essence, it is scarcely believable that it has taken SEVEN years of CraftNight to finally acknowledge the wonderful breadth of crafting possibilities offered us from THE AMAZING PINECONE. If there was anything nature created that’s just begging for plastic googly eyes to be fastened upon it’s sturdy and robust organic form… it’s the simple yet esoteric pinecone. Do you understand pinecones? If you’ve ever felt sort of shy about them, get acquainted this week, you won’t be sorry, you’ll be glad, and you’ll want to skip around and squeal and stuff and roll your Rs and flip your hair and be free and glorious. Pinecones do that kind of thing to people, I’ve seen it first hand.

Might I add that I’M BACK!!! I’ve been so far away for so long, and I’ve missed you, so please come in and maybe you’ll be the first to try exciting Canadian candies that I’ve brought with me from Montreal! Voila!

AND you should stop by DYKE DAY on Saturday, bring the kids, the aunts and uncles, the second cousins, the stray sexy caterer from the Bar Mitzvah! Bring puppies and kittens and parrots, take the hamster out of its wheel and show it how to paint the town red! Pack up the babies and grab the old ladies and everyone GOES, it’s all ages, bring your picnic and the blanket and bouncy balls and pillows and bubbles! Please be advised, you might see some lesbians there.

This event is totally and completely FREE!

Saturday, June 13th, 12-6pm (Dyke March is at 6:30pm)

Barnsdall Art Park at 4804 Hollywood Blvd. in Beautiful Silverlake, California

We’ll have performers, community organizations, craft table, moon bounce, music and lots more! Happy Gay Pride, Los Angeles!Woooooo!

See you at the Craft Table!

JP Craft Captain

CraftNight’s Website

Akbar’s Website

This Wednesday, June 3rd, 2009 from 9pm – til midnight, at Akbar, it’s CraftNight!!!

Project: Paper Digital Watches with Miss Lori the Lovely

$2 processing fee, please

What time is it? Time to feel unnacountably mighty, time to curve your hand into a paw and scoop up some pens and sparkles and design for yourself a precision timepeace that you’ll cherish for years to come! We’ve got these really amazing paper digital watches, you add your own personality to them, waaaaay better than swatches dude, something to talk about, the envied and coveted possession to end all possessions. If you like to keep up with the Jones’s, here’s a surefire way to blast them into the stratosphere!

And yes, I am aware that it is raining, and I am also aware that clouds and water and lightening and thunder are a fine occasion to enjoy cocktails with captivating and engaging people like yourself. So won’t you please grab that umbrella with the polka dots on it and join us? Everytime you hear thunder, you have to take a sip from your cocktail!

See you at the Craft Table,

JP Craft Captain

CraftNight Website

Akbar Website

This Wednesday, May 20th, 2009 from 9pm until midnight at Akbar, it’s CRAFTNIGHT!!!
Project: Tyvek® Wallets with Mike Che™!
$2 processing fee, please
Tyvek® is the magical and wonderful protective material that is so strong and durable it is virtually indestructible. It withstands the most grueling conditions and is used to seal buildings, and is used for high-end mailing envelopes AND it is 100% recyclable.
Mike Che™, CraftNight Lieutenant Extraordinaire, will be guiding the extremely amazing Tyvek® wallet experience this week at CraftNight! He’s got ready-made ones that he built himself for you to decorate, and if that’s just too tame, and you’re feeling sassy, he’ll help you make one from scratch! It doesn’t get more hands-on than this, and the last time you talked to your money, didn’t it say it wanted to be hugged by lovingly folded and decorated flashspun high-density polyethylene fibers? We don’t usually craft things that are traditionally useful or chic, so this is a very unique night, it’s like getting an Omega watch for 25 cents! Take advantage of the value and savings of this popular and reliable and responsive Wednesday Night Funtime at your friendly neighborhood oasis. Protect your assets, fold’em in a CraftNight Tyvek® wallet!
See you at the Craft Table,
JP Craft Captain
CraftNight’s Site
Akbar’s Site