Author Archives: jp

TONIGHT! Wednesday, July 27th, 2011 from 9pm (ish) – midnight (or later) at Akbar it’s CRAFTNIGHT!!!
Project: Teapot Necklace
$2 Processing fee, please
$4 Cosmopolitans! Your friend and mine!

It’s a teapot, it’s a necklace, it’s a necklace, it’s a teapot!
Do you drink it or wear it?
Honestly, I do think you’ll be able to tell once you walk in the door and start making the thing, it’s lots of fun, very beady, very crafty, and very proper, as far as afternoon tea goes. You’ll think of your cup of Earl Grey, wearing a giant flowered hat, laughing and having not a care in the world with this necklace, it brings carefree energy with it. It’s perfect for summer.

See you at the Craft Table!
JP Craft Captain

CraftNight’s Site

Akbar’s Site

This Wednesday, July 20th, 2011 from 9pm (ish) – midnight (or later) at Akbar it’s CRAFTNIGHT!!!
Project: Western Cactus Magnet
$2 Processing fee, please
$4 Cosmopolitans! The drink of summer living!

At long last, the arrival of the famed CACTUS MAGNET! Do you love adorable cactuses? If this means you, then you need to get in here this Wednesday night! This lightweight, sturdy and useful craft is the perfect introduction to CraftNight, it’s insanely easy to make, it’s a little bundle of pre-cut pieces, depicting a ranch hand cowboy cactus. The “cactus” part of the magnet is actually a saguaro, which is pretty much the universal signifier of ALL cactuses. And the cowboy bits… well, there’s nothing more lonely and romantic than the adventure-filled stories and folklore telling the fantastic legends of herding livestock through the hot and dry climate of the untamed wild west.

Thing is, if your cactus isn’t the ranch hand type, perhaps you can turn the pieces and props into something different, maybe it’s a pickle wearing a sombrero holding a plate of donuts?

This craft is delightfully rustic in that NONE of the pieces it comes with have adhesive on the back. I’m finding that more and more craft kits, in an effort to minimize mess and fuss, will prepare craft kit materials by preemptively adding adhesive to the craft bits so that glue is not needed.

Am I the only one who let out a sad little sigh when stamps became self-adhesive, and you no longer had to pull at perforations and taste that weirdo-gluey flavor on the back of the tiny postage paper to mail a letter? Future generations are going to think I’m nuts for telling them we had to LICK stuff to send it through the mail. Huh. Come to think of it… I’ll probably have to explain actual mail. Eek!

Anyway, you won’t have to lick the crafting items at CraftNight, but you will have to glue’em, the old-fashioned way, in that charming nostalgic way that is so evocative of those days on the cattle ranch, when they called you Hopalong.

See you at the Craft Table!
JP Craft Captain

CraftNight’s Site

Akbar’s Site

TONIGHT! Wednesday, July 13th, 2011 from 9pm (ish) – midnight (or later) at Akbar it’s CRAFTNIGHT!!!
Project: Coin Purses
$2 Processing fee, please
$4 Cosmopolitans! Don’t let summer give you a wedgie, order a cosmo! 
PS: Automata LA presents New works by Laura Heit & Susan Simpson this Friday and Saturday, go to bottom of bulletin to find out MORE! (I’m in Firewatch) 

Time to embrace the change, and when I say change, I mean pennies, nickels, dimes, quarters, half dollars and those 18 Sacagaweas the Metro Gold Line dispensed after you had the gall to pay for your train ticket with a twenty dollar bill.

I’m kind of into alternative forms of currency myself, and am a proud member of the Echo Park Time Bank, an excellent way to save your shekels, rethink the modus operandi of currency and buying stuff, and also you get to meet really great people! Check it out, come to one of our potlucks, maybe you’ll want to join our groovy group of time bankers!
But I digress.
You still need a place for all those heavy coins!
Look no further, we’ve got the answer, with a foam-tastic lace-up coin purse craft! At approximately 4″ x 3 5/8″, this little mini pouch will keep your minted metal circles from rolling down the street. You shall be poised and ready for any parking meter or gumball machine that may materialize during your everyday excursions.
It should be known that the Fabulous Foam Lacing Coin Purse Advisory Board (FFLCPAB) does not recommend using these coin purses in an especially extreme way. While these purses are expected to hold a decent amount of change or bills, the pouch itself is primarily FOAM. With enough stress or overuse, your coin purse could possibly unravel or break … sending your hard-earned currency into complete disarray.

As long as you go into the whole thing knowing this, you should be fine.

See you at the Craft Table!
JP Craft Captain

CraftNight’s Site

Akbar’s Site

Adrenaline, Eyesight and Uncertainty will be at the Velaslavasay Panorama
Friday, July 15 & Saturday, July 16, 2011
8:00 PM
Bureau of Small Requests: The Department of Uncertainty
The first in a 76-part series of tabletop toy theater shrines that use puppetry and projection to invoke a sense of ritual, poetry, pathology and supplication to an individual hope or fear.
Firewatch
A sensorial exploration of adrenalin, aggression, remote viewing and being American, with puppets and electric guitar.
Deep Dark
A new short film by Laura Heit with live vocal incantations by Emily Lacy.

Word of Advisement: This work is not suitable for young children.

This Wednesday, June 29th, 2011 from 9pm – midnight at Akbar it’s CRAFTNIGHT!!!
Project: DIY Flag
$2 Processing fee, please
$4 Cosmopolitans! Cosmos are America’s Favorite Drink for 4th of July

It’s inevitable, we like to separate ourselves into little clans, sects, tribes, coffee klatches, teams, towns, cities, countries. We’re just like that. We’re territorial, we crawled out of the sea, grew some legs and started peeing on things to mark them as ours.
Which brings me to the the 4th of July.
You can celebrate Indepence Day in the traditional American flag-waving sense, OR you can exercise your freedom of choice and make your OWN flag in honor of whatever the heck you want! And then, just in case you start getting all jingoistic and obsessive about your flag, I’ll give you a match to burn it, so that you may rid yourself of any aggressive or warlike ideas that might be brewing on your flag’s behalf.
I’ll bring the flags, you bring your ideas.
You know, just make something up, make a flag that celebrates your front door, or your new designer jeans! Make a flag about chewing tobacco, fried eggs, Fleetwood Mac, the old scar from your volleyball days, or make a flag about apple pie.

Which brings me to America.
There’s this saying “American as Apple Pie.” When’s the last time you made an apple pie from scratch? Do you know how much work actually goes into making a good apple pie? Making an apple pie requires determination, hard work, craftsmanship, knowledge and enthusiasm. Seriously, I dare you, try it.
Apple Pie takes FOREVER. It is not a fitting symbol for things like get-rich-quick schemes, mall architecture, overpriced burnt coffee, or cutting off your neighbor in traffic to get somewhere faster by a fifth of a minute. Making apple pie is a quiet, unglamorous affair that takes up time, sort of like paying taxes, attending jury duty or trying to get out of work on time to go vote.

Which brings me to patriotism.
It’s supposed to be really “uncool” to be into America, especially because there are many loudly opinionated star-and-stripe-wearing people who have claimed the USA in the name of god, or only one type of person, or people who aren’t like them, or people who are only like us (that territorial thing…)
It’s much more fun to wear a florescent t-shirt that says “America, Love It or Leave It” than actually try to help human beings with the administrative work and complicated hardships that come with “loving”, “leaving” “staying in” or even “liking” America. While you know things are going to taste great, coring and peeling 8 apples for a pie is a pain in the arse.

Just because a bunch of people who don’t follow your religious (or atheist) beliefs or fashion choices (or bad hair) call themselves the TRUE patriots… don’t let it phase you. It’s okay to like where you live and want to share it. It’s okay to not be a religious zealot or bigoted clod and STILL LIKE AMERICA. Apple pie is a delicious gift meant for sharing.
Take some time to bake something that takes forever, that takes love, and care, and goodwill, and then share it with your family, friends, neighbor, perfect strangers. Sharing food with those you love transcends all the hubbub, that’s why every culture does it.

And if none of that works for you:
Eat a piece of fruit and calm down.

See you at the Craft Table!
JP Craft Captain

CraftNight’s Site

Akbar’s Site