Author Archives: jp

This Wednesday, October 5th, 2011 from 9pm to midnight at Akbar, it’s CRAFTNIGHT!!!

Project: Pumpkin Patch Magnet Frame
$2 Processing fee, please
Drink Special: Franken Berry’s favorite: $4 PINK COSMOS!

Just a quick side note to let you know that Gothtober 2011 has launched with our  yearly offering of recipes, crafts, stories and films so please give us a visit, as diversions make the workday so much better, wouldn’t you agree?

This festival season brings us handsome pumpkin patch photo frames with a 2 3/4″ x 4 1/2″ photo space for you to put a drawing or photo of your choice. You’ll get a little kit that has everything you need to make a frame with pumpkins on it, as well as a magnet to hang it on the fridge! And to further enhance your October memories, I have some MORE sparkly geegaws outside the kit: some glitter autumn leaves, and these trippy “Luis Vuitton-esque” pumpkins and other fall treats to glue to your enjoyment.

October is National Pork Month AND National Vegetarian Month. October is many things to many people. The fading of the leaf and the waxing of the moon are here, and I’m wondering if the coyotes I spy in Echo Park are werecoyotes, since they are so brazen, it appears that some of them may walk into the house any moment and ask for a cold beer. Luckily I have some bottles of Blue Moon. Har de harrrrr…

If the possum on your fence is about to start ballet dancing with your cat, it’s a clear sign that All Hallow’s Eve is on the horizon. Don’t say I didn’t warn you… and I’m pretty sure you can get a cat tutu at Target right about now.

See you at the Craft Table!

JP Craft Captain Candycorn

Visit Gothtober

Visit Akbar

Visit CraftNight!

TONIGHT! September 28th, 2011 at Akbar from 9pm until the cows come home it’s CRAFTNIGHT!
DJ DIRTHOLE spinning rare and classic DISCO for your derriere
Tonight’s Craft: Shrinky Dinks
$2 processing fee please
$4 cosmos (a favorite of the dearly departed Carl Sagan, it is rumored…)

Many of you don’t know this, which is why I’ll tell you now: I am a Certified Shrinky Dink Disco Technician.

I know what you’re thinking, but no… really, I have over 10 years of training, and as far as heat-based crafts go, I’m an expert in the field. You have nothing to fear, shrinky dinks and disco are here.
Do you even know what a shrinky dink is?!?
Heavens to Betsy if you don’t, you really need to come to CraftNight, because it is absolutely one of the most magical things you can make. Shrinky Dinks involve drawing, coloring, heat, plastic, nostalgia… and complete trust and confidence in the toaster oven. If this sounds intriguing, I assure you that it is.
This is our very first Autumn CraftNight, please come in and shake your tail feather to DJ Dirt Hole’s crazy concoction of comprehensive musical selections for your dancing pleasure!

See you at the Craft Table!
JP Craft Captain

CraftNight’s Site

Akbar’s Site

SPECIAL INFO: We’re Starting at 8pm!!!
This Wednesday September 14th, 2011, at Akbar, 8pm: Kay Sedia, Tupperware followed by Pinwheels!
$2 processing fee, please
$4 Cosmopolitans, just the thing you were looking for your mid-week shimmy

You don’t want to miss this, you just don’t, not if you know what’s good for you, and when I mean good for you, I mean WORLD FAMOUS Mexican Drag Queen, Kay Sedia. I’m serious, if you want to seal in the freshness, Kay Sedia, usually fighting crime as one of the smart and sassy damsels in Chico’s Angels, is gracing us with her presence this Wednesday to sell us some awesome Tupperware (lifetime guarantee.)
Want to see what I’m talking about? See here:

After the show, you will have an opportunity to purchase some Tupperware, and CraftNight will follow up the festivities by starting you off on a pinwheel craft! The pinwheels can be colored any way you like, and their twirling energy will put a spring in your step, and verve in your heart.
So come on in, remember, it’s a 8 o’ clock start time, not the usual 9, if you want to catch this AMAZING presentation by our beloved superstar of glamour, attitude and high heels, get your butt in here, this is Tupperware IN YOUR FACE, and you’re really gonna like it.

See you at the Craft Table!
JP Craft Captain

CraftNight’s Site

Akbar’s Site

TWO CRAFTNIGHTS THIS WEEK, READ ON, DEAR CRAFTER! 
TONIGHT! September 7th, 2011, Akbar, Wednesday, 9pm: GOOGLY EYE SUNCATCHERS
$2 processing fee, please
$4 Cosmopolitans, hey good lookin’ whatcha got cookin? A dream in a glass, that’s what!

Very rare, very exciting, very googly, and a perfect way to celebrate the heat of the moment because Hot Stuff, it is just so hot, and so are you, is the return of suncatchers. This craft involves paint, plastic and not a whole lot of thought, it’s very easy, simple for summer living, good for the melting brain.

September 8th, 2011, The Pleasure Chest, Wednesday, 8pm: PAPER PLAYTHING NAUGHTY PAPER DOLLS!!! 

This event is FREE!

Prizes, Music, Trinkets, Coloring, Playing, Shopping
Alluring and Scintillating Sing-Song Performance by La Muff
Renowned keyboard classics played by Maestro Fielstra while you craft!
Foxy CraftNight assistants making sure you’ve got enough glue!

Guess how lucky I am? I have illustrated and written a 12 page sexy activity book that will be sold in The Pleasure Chest Stores, in honor of their 40th Anniversary. It’s the sexiest, sleaziest activity book in town! We’re debuting it Thursday night, and we’re also crafting up a storm!
This 12 page sexy masterpiece involves formative diversions like “Vagina Match-Up”, “Kinky Crossword” and “Doodle Your Daddy.” For ONE NIGHT ONLY we give out supplements of the paper doll that has a truly exhaustive amount of wonderful collage items for you to build a dream date of your (or someone else’s) taste.

See you at the Craft Table(s)!!!

Akbar’s Site

The Pleasure Chest’s Site

CraftNight’s Site

This Wednesday, August31st, 2011 from 9pm (ish) – midnight (or later) at Akbar it’s CRAFTNIGHT!!!
Project: Camping Frames!
$2 Processing fee, please
$4 Cosmopolitans! “That’s funny, Joe never has a second cosmo at home…”

Heavens to Betsy, where did August GO?!?
Ah well, never mind that, we’ll bid it adieu fondly and start focusing on those last days of summer, since school is starting soon. It’s also the last week of SUMMER CAMP, the last big push of heat that will come with September is perfect for enjoying the great outdoors.
To inspire your rugged active lifestyle, CraftNIght provides you with a lovely frame to show off your pictorial exploits. Your frame will hold a 2″ photo or drawing, so bring it along, or start brainstorming what you’re going to draw on that little piece of artistic real estate!
Crafters should know that you can pick from TWO designs! Are you a day camper, playing tether ball and canoeing through the pines and yodeling from rope swings? Or are you a night camper, roasting your marshmallow under the stars and lustily belting classic camp songs from eventide until dawn? Whether you are an early riser or a night owl, we’ve got you covered, and not only that, these frames come with MAGNETS, so you can stick ’em on the fridge! Camp RULES!

See you at the Craft Table,

JP Craft Captain

PS – UPCOMING FUN! Stay tuned for a very Kinky CraftNight at The Pleasure Chest September 8th, and the week after that, attend a Tupperware Fiesta with Kay Sedia of Chico’s Angels at 8pm at Akbar on September 14th! We’ll give you a chance to purchase tupperware (lifetime guarantee) and then hang out and make yourself a fetching colorful pinwheel at CraftNight!

Akbar’s Site

CraftNight’s Site