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TONIGHT!!! ShrinkRay Glow-in-Dark Crafts! • May 9th, 2018

TONIGHT!!! May 9th, 2018 at Akbar it’s CRAFTNIGHT! 
Project: Shrink Ray Glow-in-the-Dark Crafts!!!

*******$4 PABST/TECATES • $5 Cocktail Special, sip away the stress!         
*********$3 suggested donation, please! #CraftNight_is_You

Oh I KNOW this announcement is soooo last minute, but CraftNight is 95% ALWAYS every week, so keep showin’ up! I haven’t had time to cut a sandwich in half, things have been bonkertown, but I will be there tonight and ohhhhh this craft is SO FREAKIN’ COOL. So even though I JUST told you about tonight’s craft, you gotta know this one will make your brain do a lil’ square dance in your head, a square dance of delight. 

As if the fact that it SHRINKS before your very eyes isn’t enough, it’s also a GLOW-IN-THE-DARK craft!!! We know it works because we tested it in the Samuel Oschin Space Shuttle Endeavor Pavilion and everyone’s face fell off with total and uninhibited JOY AND FASCINATION. We’re bringing that joy to you because it’s just so great I can’t even stand it.

See you at the Craft Table,

JP Craft Captain


MAY MONTH CHIFFON HUMMINGBIRD TIMES!     

Bet Yer Bottom Bingo is on a MONDAY this month! MAY 14th, 2018 • Akbar • 7:30pm • Girls, boys, balls, booze! PRIZES APLENTY!!! >>>> FB Event! 

MAY 16th Craft: Laminated Bookmarks!

MAY 17th Show: Myself and other quality folks are in a live staged-reading of the Beat-era puppet play “Don’t Flee the Scene Salty”, and it happens NEXT THURSDAY NIGHT (May 17th) @ The Actors Company Theatre in West Hollywood! >>> Get tix!

MAY 20th: JP (that’s me) hosts the 2nd Annual Project Q Fundraiser Ball – All proceeds from this event will go towards completing construction of the ProjectQ ‘Hairstream’ self-esteem building mobile salon, and funding the 2018 Tour, in which free haircuts are given to LGBTQ homeless youth. Get tix or donate! >>>> FB Event!

MAY 23rd Craft: Poofy Chickens and Rabbits! (because it’s still SPRING, dang-it!)

MAY 30th Craft, CRAFTIVISM SPECIAL EVENT: CraftNight teams up with Down But Not Out to decorate packets of needed sundries to give out to those in need in our city! Donations for supplies welcome! More info to come!

 

 

 

Posted by on May 9, 2018 in Coloring Craft, Heat-based Craft

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RETURN of the Unicorn Pins • April 4th, 2018

This Wednesday, April 4th, 2018 at Akbar it’s CRAFTNIGHT! 
Project:  Unicorn Pins Yayyyyyy!!!! (Paint yer own!)   

*******$4 PABST/TECATES • $5 Cocktail Special, get yours today!       
*********$3 suggested donation, we’re a scrappy non-profit alive because of you! xoxo 

When we last saw our wooden lasercut unicorn profiles, they were in a box… somewhere. And then I went out of town, and my poor CraftNight Lieutenants couldn’t find them anywhere, and so the unicorns did not star as the craft for that evening. It was a bit of a SNAFU: Situation Normal: Awol Forgotten Unicorns. You know, like they say in the military.

However, I FOUND THEM! I found the UNICORNS! And they’re FUN, and you can wear one after you paint it and glue gems to it and it will just be the everlovin’ BEST. I mean, this creature has been captivating us since 5th century BCE. Marco Polo thought rhinoceroses were the ugliest unicorns he’d ever seen and was super disappointed. Here’s a direct quote from when he was rooting around in Sumatra (formerly Basma):

“The head resembles that of a wild boar, and they carry it ever bent towards the ground. They delight much to abide in mire and mud. ‘Tis a passing ugly beast to look upon, and is not in the least like that which our stories tell of as being caught in the lap of a virgin; in fact, ’tis altogether different from what we fancied.”

Still, people were drawn to the power and mystique of the majestic unicorn. As late as 1741 you could purchase powdered unicorn horn in jars in London pharmacies. Obviously, we don’t have anything as resplendent as that, but well… they are wooden shapes for painting, and the resplendence is up to you.

See you at the Craft Table,

JP Craft Captain


SPRING CRAFT SESSIONS and MORE for APRIL! 

11th – Spring Animal Magnets! 

15th – BET YER BOTTOM BINGO 7:30pm in the front Bar, win BIG BOTTLES O’ BOOZE and other fabulous prizes with boys, girls, balls and a whole lotta laffs!!! 50 Cents a Card! 

18th – Terra Cotta Clay Playtime! 

25th – Puffball Creatures! 

 

Posted by on April 3, 2018 in Jewelry Craft, Painting Craft

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Mellow Valentines LOVE-IN • February 14th, 2018

This Wednesday, February 14th, 2018 from 9pm to midnight (or later) it’s CRAFTNIGHT! 
****Project: Crafts of Love 

*******$4 PABST/TECATE • $5 Drink Special for Lovers and Dreamers!  
*********$3 suggested donation, thank you for supporting the arts!  
********* Lucky winners of my obscure trivia questions will win:
Tickets to YACHT ROCK REVUE at the El Rey Feb 17th!!! (Make no mistake, this is the FINEST tribute to soft rock in the city: It’s comedic, talented musicians, but it’s also an actual tribute situation that will make for a really wonderful evening.)

Crafts are gonna be Valentine-oriented, because I have cute choo-choos, spinny wheels, and love caterpillars and that’s not all! It’s been 73 years since Valentine’s Day and Ash Wednesday have collided, which seems as good a reason as any to celebrate both. Let’s do it all, hayyyyy. Here’s whassup!

Every month is Black History Month OKAY? OKAY! But we’ll be playing kickass 90s soul on the Akbar HI-FI because it sounds really damn good, and because it’s crucial to educate, empower and sustain the achievements by African Americans and the central role of blacks in U.S. history. And I wanna dance with you to “Buffalo Stance” by Neneh Cherry.

Is Valentines Day: Invented by card companies, dumb if you’re single, dumb if you’re coupled, dumb anyways, too expensive, tacky, tawdry, materialistic, signified by stupid chalky heart-shaped candy, cursed with a dippy red and pink color palette, full of unreal expectations? YES!!! YES ALL OF IT!!! WHO CARES!!! 

It’s so cool to poo on Valentine’s Day, I implore you to just DO A LOVE THING because who wins if you do it? We need more love, just you know… make some. Do something good without getting caught, some kind of secret agent kindness no one can know. Forgive someone who pissed you off. Spend $10 on coffee for you and and a friend. Get your ass out and volunteer. Give your time. Give compliments. Listen to a long-winded family member. Notice someone who doesn’t think they’re noticable. Lift something heavy for somebody. Open doors. Call someone far away. CLIMB OUT OF YOUR BELLY BUTTON AND OPEN YOUR HEART. 

It’s Also Ash Wednesday, which is a catholic thang, but one can still celebrate it in a nonsecular way. Many use it as a New Year’s Resolution reboot. It’s said that Jesus spent 40 days in the desert thinking about stuff, so between now and Easter, you’ve got YOUR personal opportunity to go into DEEP THOUGHT about your life JUST like Jesus, wow! Give something up: fatty snacks, criticism, sour patch kids, swearing, snapchat, smoking, religion, the news, etc.

And like WHY do that? Why suffer? Why have a difficulty when shit’s already difficult? The conscious decision by YOU to deprive YOURSELF of something that may or may not be good for you is a way of forcing yourself to contemplate WHY you like that thing/action, WHY you do it, WHAT it does for you and how that effects the world, even in the most piddly way. What kind of space are you taking up on this earth? This holiday is specifically designed to make you get past any bullshit and self-denial you’ve been harboring. Flip the record and look at the B track. Who are you and what are your priorities, anyway? Find out!

If 40 days is too much for you, there’s always Passover coming up in March, which is 8 days not 40, but no less contemplative and jarring in its own freaky way. If you’d rather shake hands with the devil, come see me at Bingo on February 18th (details below) and win glorious sinful prizes! Be bad! Gamble and support the arts!

See you at the Craft Table,

JP Craft Captain


WINTER SESSION 

FEB 18th – Bet Yer Bottom BINGO!!! Gambling, Winning, Singing, Drinking, Dabbing, Dotting, Laughing! Details HERE!

FEB 21st, FEB 28th – YES THERE WILL  BE CRAFTS YAHHHHHH!!!! We’re relentless and forever, we’re CraftNight. 

 

Posted by on February 13, 2018 in Collage Craft, Scrapping/Coloring Craft

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TONIGHT! National Park Coloring Postcards! • August 30th, 2017

TONIGHT at Akbar from 9pm to midnight or later it’s CRAFTNIGHT!!!
****Project: National Park Coloring Postcards! 

*****$3 Donation Please 
******$4 Drink specials! Akbar: Spend time with the right people… us! 

Our National Parks turned 101 years old last Friday!!!

Our President basically wants to build a Chipotle at the bottom of the Mariana Trench!  Gross greedy jerks are trying to destroy our parks by opening them up to commercial development, mining, logging, putting satellite dishes all over the Grand Canyon and scooping out mountains to put high rise apartments.

The life expectancy of a squirrel is nine years. If we’re not careful, our preserved parks and lands, forests, oceans and eco systems are going to disappear, and no one will know what a squirrel IS. Recent events have shown that climate change is happening, it’s deadly, and causing great detriment. We’re going to speak out in a crafty way and also discuss what else we can do to save not just the parks, but the planet.

I am making postcards of some of our nation’s most precious National Park jewels, from the canyon lands, to the deserts, oceans and forests. You can color these in, and either keep it for yourself or a loved one OR mail it!!! We will have resources for you to view that will help you to write our government officials urging them to SAVE OUR NATIONAL PARKS which are in danger of being dismantled by dumbness.

Also: In lieu of recent events, I’ve been sort of wanting to hide in the basement with my BB gun. But I’m against that in principal. When Anderson Cooper asked Vice reporter, Elle Reeve, what was the most striking thing about her trip to Charlottesville, she said that yes, it was horrible, but there was something else. She said that the Alt Right was very organized. They had their own first aid, they had their own tiki torch handing-out station, they had their own security and basically, they had it together.

I want US to be that together. I want us to know how to save each other’s lives, how to defend ourselves, how to act in an emergency. Therefore, our first crack at Craftivism Community Classes is gonna be a FREE presentation by the Red Cross on disaster preparedness given before CraftNight. Read below and RSVP to join me on September 13th for some community enrichment! I’ll make it worth your while!

See you at the Craft Table,

JP Craft Captain


UPCOMING CRAFTS, ETC.

SEPT 6th 9pm – Mystery Bag Crafts!!! I’ll hand you a bag… a mystery craft AND FORTUNE will be yours!

SEPT 13th • 8 – 9pm – EMERGENCY PREPAREDNESS WORKSHOP with the RED CROSS! – Topics include fire safety, general preparedness, earthquake stuff and more. This workshop is FREE to the Public, to make sure they’ll have enough handouts, please RSVP here: https://www.facebook.com/events/1424680330959573/

SEPT 13th CRAFT 9pm – Metal Charm Apple Bracelet! 

September 20th • 8-10pm • Dr. Sketchy’s LA is BACK with “Turkish Delights” *** Live Model Figure Drawing & Cocktails*** Featuring:
Caramel Knowledge and Jenn Aguilar ***** TICKETS: http://drsketchyla.bpt.me/ **** $12 advance, $15 at the door ••• 
Facebook Public Invite: https://www.facebook.com/events/104409423631161

 

ALSO SEPT 20th CRAFT 9pmFirst Day of Fall! We’re making Autumn Suncatchers!!! 

SEPT 24th SUNDAY!!! – Bet Yer Bottom BINGO on a SUNDAY?!? Yes! Special Limited Edition Weekend Event! 

SEPT 27th CRAFT – Fall Leaf Necklace! 

Gothtober is kind of like a film festival, except in addition to films, it offers recipes, crafts, music and more. If you want to be a part of it, application deadlines have been extended to September 1st. Apply for Gothtober Today!

  

 

Posted by on August 30, 2017 in Coloring Craft

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Science Sticker Symposium! • April 19th, 2017

TONIGHT! Wednesday, April 19th, 2017 from 9pm until midnight (or later) it’s CRAFTNIGHT!!!
Project: Science Sticker Symposium!  
$3 Donation Please 
$4 Drink specials! Akbar: The Only Way to Fly!    

Science is real so I illustrated SIX different stickers to help you spread the word! They involve terrible science puns, and they are fun to color in and then stick wherever you like. They are kind of DIY and kind of not, all at once. Why did I do this? The March for Science is coming up this weekend!

Here, read more about it, and register to march if you wanna:  (SCIENCE MARCH). 

What would cause brilliant, focused, quiet, researching nerds to lift their heads out of their findings and yell “WTF?!?” at the president?

For the last 20-30 years, it’s been increasingly routine for the government to slowly but surely starve scientific budgets, compromise scientific research, and restrict what scientists do. Our new administration not only supports this trend, but is accelerating the process by brazenly and proudly sending the message that climate control doesn’t matter, and science is dumb.

Here are just five key actions taken by the head honcho of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue (oops, I mean Mar A Lago, Florida) in his first 100 days:

1.) Scott Pruitt picked for the head of the Environmental Protection Agency – This guy is a climate change denier, has long opposed environmental regulations, and is in the act of suing the EPA for the thirteenth time, this time over Obama’s Clean Power Plan which aims to reduce greenhouse gas emissions from electricity production.

2.) Rick “Bonehead” Perry chosen as Energy Secretary – Another dude who questions weather climate change is real, and he’s in charge of the nukes. Also, this is an extremely science-heavy department, usually run by physicists or engineers that Perry (not a scientist) advocated to eradicate back in 2012.

3.) Rex Tillerson is now Secretary of State – Hey, he’s the former chief of ExxonMobile, a company that has been accused of hiding climate change from its shareholders for years. He’s dismissive on clean energy solutions, and has consistently made big business choices that have stamped Exxon with prize title of “Company with the Second Largest Historical Carbon Footprint of All Time.”

4.) The Trump White House has proposed slashing $1.2 billion from research grants at the National Institutes of Health and other health and education programs this year. This is a cut separate from the $5.8 billion NIH cut Trump is calling for in 2018.

People in power who want to to live fancy should really invest in science because science is the engine of prosperity! SmartPhones, yachts, flying cars and sculptural sound panels don’t happen without LOTS of exploration and innovation.

But more importantly, science does stuff like curing illnesses, it combats climate change, it’s trying to solve global hunger, it’s working on creating alternative fuel sources. To cut funding for science is to cut funding for humanity.

You would think that no matter how money-grubbing and narcissistic some people are, they’d at least pretend to care about things like disease control, extreme weather preparedness and preserving the planet’s finite resources. You know, because then they’d seem cool, but they can’t even do that. They can only see through and act via a transactional lens, where profit is first prize, and people are fodder.

This is why it’s time to speak up for science.

See you at the Craft Table,

JP Craft Captain


UPCOMING CRAFTS, ETC.

April 24th – Bet Yer Bottom Bingo! Spring Fling Edition! • Akbar • 8pm – 10pm • Numbers, balls, boys, girls, prizes galore!

April 26th – Luv Snail Photo Kit

May 3rd – Bus Craft! I know you want a 3-D paper bus, because public transportation ROCKS!

May 10th – Ship Craft! Saiiiiiiilin’ takes me awayyyyy to where I’m goin….

May 17th – Paint-Yer-Own Flower Pot!

 

Posted by on April 19, 2017 in Coloring Craft, EZ Craft

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