Tag Archives: america

Magnets! • January 20th, 2016


TONIGHT! Wednesday, Jan 20th, 2015 from 9pm until midnight (or later) at Akbar, it’s CRAFTNIGHT!!!
Project: Magnets 
$3 Processing fee, please
$4 Drink Specials at Akbar: Hands on your hips, a smile on your lips, spirit in your heart, we’re ready to start! 

It occurred to me that CraftNight really has a LOT of magnet backings. This means we’re rolling up our sleeves and making DIY magnets for your refrigerator or wherever else in your life needs a magnet. Magnets are great, they let you do so much without any constraints. Here you have an object that affixes another object (usually paper) to a surface temporarily. Temporary as in NO commitment as in FREEDOM and no hassles and your life and YOUR choices. How great is that?

When you hand a piece of paper to someone, they have NO IDEA how long it was kickin’ around on your fridge before you finally got around to giving it to the recipient. The meaning and purpose of your busy and engrossing life is affirmed and bolstered by the magnet’s quiet fortitude. This means you should make some magnets at CraftNight as soon as possible to get started living a wildly unencumbered actuality that will enable you to blossom and excel.

We have flat, colorful foam and beads and shapes for which you can form your magnet. Here are some magnet ideas:

1.) Puppy Face Magnet
2.) Magnet that says “NOW” to remind you of what you need to do NOW. Maybe another one that says “SHEESH.”
3.) Bring a small photo and make a frame around it and boom it’s a magnet!
4.) Your own magnet poetry kit
5.) All bad words, just all of ’em
6.) Exquisite corpse magnets, lots of heads, torsos and feet: interchangeable!
7.) Annoying slogans or meaningful um, quotes.
8.) Foods: Donut, hot dog, sushi, noodles
9.) Giant capital letters (this seems to be trending)
10.) Squids, Owls, Deer, Birds, Llamas, Otters, Monkeys, Lemurs, Pandas, Bisons, Eagles, Ponies, Sharks, Lobsters, Cows, and Ducks

See you at the Craft Table!

JP Craft Captain



NEXT WEEK January 26th BINGO: Tuesday 8pm to 10pm it’s Bet Yer Bottom Bingo with the big bad prizes you’ve come to love us for, so come on in and try your luck with booze, girls, boys, balls, it’s the best in neighborhood gay bar gambling!

*January 27th CRAFTNIGHT – Groundhog Day Paper Dolls
**February 3rd CRAFTNIGHT – Mardis Gras Disguises
Ohhhhh the LOVE-IN!!! • Featuring the LOVE RAFFLE (Mad mad prize baskets), Valentine Snacks, Cute Friends, Hot Strangers and MORE!






Posted by on January 20, 2016 in Assembly Craft, Freeform Craft, Multi-Variety Craft

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‘Merican-Themed Plant Holder • June 26th, 2013


This Wednesday the 26th of June 2013 from 9pm until midnight or later at Akbar, it’s CRAFTNIGHT!!!
Project: ‘Merican-Themed Plant Holder
$2 Donation Por Favor
$4 Cosmopolitan Drink Special! The Akbar Cosmo: The Taste of Freedom.
NOTE: NO CRAFTS NEXT WEEK!!!! Instead, there will be a DANCE PARTY!!!! Ring in the long weekend! (See you the following week July 10th with a sweet watermelon craft!)  

I’m a big fan of patriotic novelties, and this one is truly strange, dare I say even too good to be true. Coming to you this week, a piéce de résistance never before attempted, it’s The Craft Stick Flag Planter. 

Knowing what I do about the need for a CONSTANT reminder that you live in AMERICA, I do believe the problem is now solved, and here is the preamble reflecting my intense and eager enthusiasm:

We the CraftNight, in order to form a more perfect planter, establish craft sticks, insure self-adhesive foam pieces, provide space for a small plant, promote the general bar chair, and secure the joy and ease of crafting and creativity to ourselves and our dexterity, do ordain and establish this revolution for the United Crafts of America.

Display your national values and strong sense of purpose, becoming deeply rooted in the American way! Democrats, Republicans, Conservatives or Liberals,  all win with this plucky square receptacle that will absolutely preserve your independence and spirit, while maintaining US industry and enterprise.

After this week you will have a souvenir that not only shows an appreciation for Old Glory, but it ALSO doubles as a place to put a small plant, like a cute little succulent, a spider plant or a tiny fern. A groovy little plant hanging out in your home is a keen reminder of summer, which is now here.

See you at the Craft Table,

JP Craft Captain

PS – If you aren’t all that into the jingoistic flavor of a patriotic plant holder, remember to do the ANOTHER truly American thing: exercise your freedom and renounce nationalism by BURNING the flag (or flag-themed plant holder) closest to your heart!


Posted by on June 22, 2013 in Uncategorized

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