TONIGHT! Wednesday, September 1st, 2010 from 9pm until 12-ish or so, at Akbar, it’s CRAFTNIGHT!

Project: Starfish Beach Buddy • $2 Processing fee, por favor

You know, I’m not sure if there’s a Hell, but if there is one, I might be going there for this craft. With all these esoteric, nebulous craft companies I order from, sometimes the descriptions online aren’t all that detailed. I thought “Oh! Starfish buddies! Perfect for summer, how beachy!” The concept is that you get a starfish shape, and decorate it with a little beach outfit and make it into a magnet.

Imagine my chagrin, my horror, my mortification when the package got there and it contained small boxes of REAL STARFISHES. So then: Oops.

This is not a vegan craft. Life forms were dried and are no longer alive in the making of this project.

If this freaks you out, it’s TOTALLY OKAY. I have a a variety of back-up craftts for you to choose from, so please come in and craft, you can make something else. And if you want to march around outside with a big sign protesting CraftNight, that’s fine too, I totally understand, I’ll buy you a cocktail. Feel the way you feel, that’s one of our mottos.

I’ve spent the last week lying awake in bed contemplating the neural activities of starfish. Some people just think of them as glorified shells. I am not a vegetarian, and for the record, starfish are not vegetarians either, so I can’t be a total ninny and pretend that dried starfish are the most horrible thing ever, because they aren’t. But it is a quandry. It’s controversial, it alienates some people, thrills others. Such is art.

I would think, if you indeed decide to make one… make this starfish COUNT. Don’t let it have been dried for naught. Go all the way. Craft like you’ve never crafted before, commemorate it, honor it, and keep it. Forever.

See you at the Craft Table,

JP Craft Captain

CraftNight’s Site

Akbar’s Site

This Wednesday, August 25th, 2010 from 9pm until 12-ish (or later) at Akbar, it’s CRAFTNIGHT!!

Project: Sun Thermometers • $2 processing fee, please

Hey, look at us, we’re in the LA Weekly this Week! YAY! Thanks, David Cotner!

It was really starting to get worrisome, we were all wondering where the heck the blazing Los Angeles heat went, and, as usual, after kicking up a little doubt dust just to have fun with us… HERE IT IS. And we’re scheduled for trademark charcoal briquette-level temperatures in the weeks ahead. What better to understand and know how much clothing you need to leave at home than by using your trusty RAINBOW SUN THERMOMETER!

This little foam kit of pieces comes with a genuine glass thermometer, the theme comes with rainbow and sun-shaped bits, but there’s no reason to adhere to the instructions, you can make this a “disco” thermometer or a “sanitation engineer” thermometer, a “what’re yoo lookin’ at” thermometer… you get my drift. This is a very easy-breezy craft, if you’re looking to introduce a friend to CraftNight, this one’s a lovely introduction.

See you at the Craft Table!

JP Craft Captain

CraftNight’s Site

Akbar’s Site

This Wednesday, August 18th, 2010 from 9pm  until 12am (or later) at Akbar, it’s A VERY SPECIAL CRAFTNIGHT!!!

Time for the “HOT as HELLO HOW-YA-DOIN’ SQUARETIME HOP!”

$2 Processing fee please, and PLEASE TIP THE BAND if you DIG the tunes! If you’re feeling festive, wear some RED!

DELUXE CRAFT! – A 3-D lantern craft, complete with lil’ glowstick to light up your summer!

DELUXE DANCE! – Triple Chicken Foot playing LIVE music, with her excellence, Cory Marie Podielski calling/teaching you how to square dance!

DELUXE KRAUT! - Specializing in all things pickled and fermented, the AbdiKraut kitchen has produced tasty homemade products such as juniper and apple kraut, pickled tomatillos and other tangy delights. There will be samples, as well as an opportunity to purchase a pint or two while supplies last.

Hello, How Ya Doin? Is it HOT out here?

My oh my, are we keyed up, we’ve got Crafts, Square Dancing and Kraut, and of course, cocktails! If none of these activities are worth your time this week, I’m not sure I can help you. Seriously, if this doesn’t get you to come out and play, I should just expect to find you wearing sweats at the grocery store, or some such other sign that you’ve given up. DON’T GIVE UP! COME OUTSIDE! IT’S BEAUTIFUL! What’s summer for? Summer is for hot nonsense of the most important kind, it’s time to throw caution to the wind and grab some playtime. Please be bold and come see us this Wednesday, you will be so happy you did. We have $4 cosmo specials… just sayin.

You don’t need a partner to learn to square dance, Cory will take good care of you, arrive and learn, and you’ll be hopping in no time!

You don’t need an electrician’s license to make these adorable 3-D lanterns, they are square, and ever so fun, with lots of parts and accessories to engross you.

And as far as kraut goes… you don’t need to know fluent German to develop an insatiable lust for all things pickled and fermented, AbdiKraut will feed your interest, come and sample the goods! Take home a pint!

See you at the Craft Table,

JP Craft Captain

CraftNight Website

Akbar Website

This Wednesday, August 11th, 2010 from 9pm to 12 midnight (or later) at Akbar, it’s CRAFTNIGHT!!!

Project: Robot Photo Frames!  $2 Processing Fee, Please!

Dear Crafters, I shall be out of town this week, but I bring you CraftNight Lieutenant: X Killer! She’s an artist/entrepreneur/surfer hottie, and it’s her BIRTHDAY, so there will be Mellow Gold AM Tunes playing all night AND Robot Photo Frames!

Bring a photo of yourself,  your fish, your loved one, a photo of a celebrity, etc. because we’re makin’ ROBOT PHOTO FRAMES! Basically, you assemble the body of a robot, and there’s  hollow space for the head, in which you place a photo!

Have a good Robotic Time, and I’ll see you next week!

-JP Craft Captain

TONIGHT! Wednesday, August 4th, 2010 from 9pm – midnight at Akbar, it’s CRAFTNIGHT!!!

Project: (fake) Marshmallow Cowboys!!! $2 processing fee, please!

Who said bigotry was all the rage? PROP 8 BIT THE DUST TODAY!!!

Here are some places you can go to support today’s victory:

Los Angeles Prop 8 Rally (West Hollywood) 6pm – 8pm • West Hollywood Park 647 N San Vicente Blvd. West Hollywood, CA 90069

Latino Equality Alliance’s Community Prayer for Social Justice 8pm – 10pm • Olvera Street, Downtown Los Angeles

Events in Long Beach, Inland Empire, Palm Springs, SF, etc.

And, obviously, it doesn’t end here, we’ve got November coming up, and all that stuff, so roll up yer sleeves and get ready to defend some civil rights!

ON THAT NOTE:
We’re making cowboys. I thought they were cute. They are cute. They have this kind of weird “fake marshmallow” thing happening which I don’t quite understand, but am ready to embrace. I used to think it was kind of dumb, using “fake” marshmallows to make stuff, but I’m changing my tune. There’s a lot of room here, on the open craft plain it doesn’t HAVE to be a cowboy, it can be a COWGIRL, or you can change it to some dude rancher from Australia, or reverse the whole thing and take the pieces and make them into a hovercraft! Whatever you want to do, we’re here to make it happen.

Cowboys are so old-fashioned, and not perfect, but they sure do have good hats. The archetype of the cowboy’s rugged individualism (and screwed up Manifest Destiny that goes along with that) is deeply engrained in the American psyche. Again, like with the weird “fake marshmallow” craft thing, I’m not sure how poking and prodding cows from one end of the country to the other results in a higher moral consciousness, but like many things that make no sense at all, here we are. OG Cowboy code subscribes to being a good worker, being gentle with children, the elderly and animals, being a patriot, not advocating or possessing racially or religiously intolerant ideas… you can see how this code can be twirled into anyone’s ethical standards. Nobody ever seems to talk about how dirty cowboys really are, how they smell like BO and horse turds, how they have horrible manners and cheat at cards. The fallibility and courage of the cowboy is perhaps what makes cowboys so loveable. So tonight, come on in and make your dirty rotten scoundrel, hat and all. Perhaps  you can make him a little hay bale.

Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be cowboys, they’ll never stay home and they’re always alone, even with someone they love.

Cowboys ain’t easy to love and they’re harder to hold, and they’d rather give you a song than diamonds or gold, Lonestar belt buckles and old faded Levis

And each night begins a new day, and if you don’t understand him and he don’t die young, You’ll probably just ride away

-Willie Nelson

See you at the Craft Table!

JP Craft Captain

CraftNight’s Site

Akbar’s Site

TONIGHT! This very Wednesday, July 28th, 2010 at Akbar from 9pm until 12 it’s CRAFTNIGHT!!!

Project: Compass Necklaces ($2 processing fee, please)

Special Guest: DJ DIRT HOLE! (That’s right, the dirtiest, the holiest, spinning sounds that will launch you into your booty-shakin’ dreams come true!)

Face it: CraftNight happens in a bar. It is absolutely going to be raucous night here with DJ DirtHole spinning tunes, probably you will have a few drinks. And sometimes when drinks are had, people lose their way. For the hot summer nights of the past, and the hot summer nights to come, I bring you the COMPASS NECKLACE. Sport one of these beauties along with your outfit coordinates, and you will never lose your way. You’ll be able to make it back to the bar, should you drift off in a directionless haze after one too many of our delicious $4 cosmos (Akbar’s Wednesday drink special).

Not only is it helpful in the bar, but it’s camping season, right? This safety-minded precision instrument can be decorated any way you wish, you can wear it while navigating the freeways, figuring out where you are in Burbank, figuring out which direction to pitch the camping tent, or simply dawn it as a sassy talisman that says “I know where I’m going.”

See you at the Craft Table,

JP Craft Captain

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Visit Akbar

TONIGHT! July 14th, 2010 from 9pm to midnight at Akbar, it’s CRAFTNIGHT!!!

Project: Weird Square Dream Catchers!

$2 processing fee, please

Note: This week’s beautiful and amazing CraftNight flyer is brought to you by Sarah Williams, Echo Park resident, artist and Craft Enthusiast and currently the maker of the largest handmade picnic blanket in existence. I think it’s so big you can see it from Google Maps. Thank you, Sarah! Seriously, the more you look at this CraftNight flyer, the more new things you find, it’s endlessly entertaining!

Another note: I’m directing a puppet show called PASTA The Musical starring The PopUps! It’s a kids show, but honestly, the age range is from 2 to 192, it’s a rock-n-roll showstoppin’ foot stompin’ 45 minute educational romp involving live drawing, mermaids, guitars, singing and all manner of crazy good-time entertainment! The shows run from July 21st to the 25th, here’sPopUps INFO and here’s where you can get more info and TICKETS. PLEASE COME SEE IT! It’s really good, I’m totally bugging you about it because it’s MEGA-FUN and you won’t want to miss it!

NOW THEN: Weird square dream catchers, the beautiful and practical accessory for your home is here! There are a lot of different kinds of dreamcatcher crafts out there, but I sort of splurged and settled on the weird square variety. Why did I do that, you may ask? Because the weirdness of how this thing was designed is more conducive to experimentation and also: it comes with feathers and an imitation leather cord.

The makers of the weird square dream catcher craft kits decided that you needed a place to write your name on it, presumably so that your dreams know where to go once they leave your head. You wouldn’t want the vestiges of your subconscious to get entangled in some other dream catcher nearby, that would be totally mixed up! So in the middle of the dream catcher, you can stitch this foam, web-shaped (suggestive of what might’ve been part of a treated animal hyde back in the long-ago) surface and you can follow their suggestion and write your name on there OR you can draw a picture of a wolf head, or some clouds, or whatever you want! That’s right, it’s part dream catcher, part exciting tableau! And don’t forget: The imitation leather cord. I had to mention it again because it’s so exciting. And feathers. And beads.

See you at the Craft Table!

JP Craft Captain

Visit CraftNight

Visit Akbar

This Wednesday, July 7th, 2010 at Akbar from 9pm until midnight, it’s CRAFTNIGHT!!!

Project: DIY Dry-Erase Door Hangers!

$2 Processing fee, please

$4 cosmo drink special! Woo!  ALSO>>>>*Akbar Happy Hour from 4 – 8, food, cheap drinks*

Once in awhile,  you have to take an honest-to-goodness look at your doorknob and give it a little sass, a little panache, a bit of zest and spirit. Face it, while doorknobs perform a very important function in our lives, they rarely get any glory. Like the trusty light switch, or the unwavering rotation of the toilet paper dispenser spindle, doorknobs are commonly overlooked, forgotten, dare I say: neglected.

Through the bold new medium of doorknob decor, CraftNight declares NO MORE! Goodbye humdrum doorknob situation, hello inspirational entryway! Your doorknob will no longer be merely a mechanism to obtain entry and exit from the room it shields, but can now display MESSAGES! The cool thing is, you can save the dry-erase side of your door hanger to be “freeform” while the other side can have a permanent message! Add sparkles, add letters, add the colors and shapes that reflect your exciting lifestyle!

Some doorknob hanger ideas:

1.) Stay OUT!

2.) Come IN!

3.) Leave CASH!

4.) Baby Seals and Gary Busey are in my bed!

5.) Hey, I’m a classy doorknob sign!

6.) If I’m on the ground, someone stole the doorknob!

7.) Grizzly Bear Behind You: RUN!

8.) Billie Jean is NOT my lover!

9.) Lick Doorknob to Open Door!

10.) NO Mythical Beasts ALLOWED!

Come on in, free your mind and your craft will follow. Get your DIY Dry Erase Doorknob hanger while supplies last!

See you at the Craft Table!

JP Craft Captain

PS – Yes, that is Sammy Davis Jr. and yes, it is a DeLorean.

CraftNight’s Site

Akbar’s Site

Long time ago, and even still today, the Statue of Liberty lets people know “You’re on the right boat.”

It’s ironic, that Lady Liberty came about whilst Manifest Destiny was all the rage (some say it never left), not long after slavery and the Indian Removal Act. She’s got a good message, she is in support of our best self, the country we’d like to be, the country that at best, is a place of innovation, experimentation and open-hearted goodwill and at worst, is a place of close-minded bigotry, avarice and cruel exploitation of people and resources.

If you’re feeling extra independent today, consider celebrating “International Flag Burning Day” and rid yourself of nationalist jingoism by burning the flag closest to your heart. We must pay respect to the past, and vow to join together in taking care of each other, we are not countries, we are people, and we are bonded by our humanity.

Independence Day shouldn’t just be about blowing stuff up and eating hot dogs. It should be where you take a good hard look at history, what you’ve been told, what is the truth, and what to do about the truth, and how to make a brighter day.

Here’s a little ditty from 1883 that you may know and love, subscribing to the concepts of compassion and hope, a place for all of us. It sits on the inner wall of the Statue of Liberty.

Happy 4th to  you, Craft Captain JP

This Wednesday (TONIGHT!) from 9pm til’ midnight, at Akbar, it’s CRAFTNIGHT!!!

Project: DRUMS!!!

$2 Wednesday cosmo special (and don’t forget Akbar’s delectable Happy Hour from 4-8pm with food and cheap drinks!)

DECLARE INDEPENDENCE!

It’s the big weekend of blowing stuff up in Silverlake and Echo Park! I’m sure you’ve already heard quite a few preliminary snap-crackle-pops of eager pyro-centric locals. If you’re not all that jazzed about Independence Day, please know that all the hubbub need not be in the name of xenophobic patriotic jingoism. As a matter of fact, July 4th is more than one holiday, it is actually:

1.) BUILD A SCARECROW DAY – If you have a garden, crops are really starting to come up, so build that scarecrow now, if you’re going to build it!

2.) NATIONAL COUNTRY MUSIC DAY – Country music isn’t just a whole lotta twang, it’s an entire lifestyle. Crack open a cold one and watch an episode of HEE HAW!

3.) SIDEWALK EGG FRYING DAY – We’re not going to get the unbearable hotness of being in Los Angeles until August, but in other places across the world it’s HOT! Get out those eggs, clean off the sidewalk, make an omelette.

We’re making drums, so that you can declare your independence and decide what July 4th is for YOU. These are really cool little drums, high-end materials, very adorable, and very uh… drummy. Drum-like? Drummish? Anyway, move to the beat of a different drummer, build and decorate and then drum your way down the street!

See you at the Craft Table,

JP Craft Captain

CraftNight’s Site

Akbar’s Site