CRAFTNIGHT!

TONIGHT! Wednesday, September 1st, 2010 from 9pm until 12-ish or so, at Akbar, it’s CRAFTNIGHT!

Project: Starfish Beach Buddy • $2 Processing fee, por favor

You know, I’m not sure if there’s a Hell, but if there is one, I might be going there for this craft. With all these esoteric, nebulous craft companies I order from, sometimes the descriptions online aren’t all that detailed. I thought “Oh! Starfish buddies! Perfect for summer, how beachy!” The concept is that you get a starfish shape, and decorate it with a little beach outfit and make it into a magnet.

Imagine my chagrin, my horror, my mortification when the package got there and it contained small boxes of REAL STARFISHES. So then: Oops.

This is not a vegan craft. Life forms were dried and are no longer alive in the making of this project.

If this freaks you out, it’s TOTALLY OKAY. I have a a variety of back-up craftts for you to choose from, so please come in and craft, you can make something else. And if you want to march around outside with a big sign protesting CraftNight, that’s fine too, I totally understand, I’ll buy you a cocktail. Feel the way you feel, that’s one of our mottos.

I’ve spent the last week lying awake in bed contemplating the neural activities of starfish. Some people just think of them as glorified shells. I am not a vegetarian, and for the record, starfish are not vegetarians either, so I can’t be a total ninny and pretend that dried starfish are the most horrible thing ever, because they aren’t. But it is a quandry. It’s controversial, it alienates some people, thrills others. Such is art.

I would think, if you indeed decide to make one… make this starfish COUNT. Don’t let it have been dried for naught. Go all the way. Craft like you’ve never crafted before, commemorate it, honor it, and keep it. Forever.

See you at the Craft Table,

JP Craft Captain

CraftNight’s Site

Akbar’s Site

This Wednesday, August 25th, 2010 from 9pm until 12-ish (or later) at Akbar, it’s CRAFTNIGHT!!

Project: Sun Thermometers • $2 processing fee, please

Hey, look at us, we’re in the LA Weekly this Week! YAY! Thanks, David Cotner!

It was really starting to get worrisome, we were all wondering where the heck the blazing Los Angeles heat went, and, as usual, after kicking up a little doubt dust just to have fun with us… HERE IT IS. And we’re scheduled for trademark charcoal briquette-level temperatures in the weeks ahead. What better to understand and know how much clothing you need to leave at home than by using your trusty RAINBOW SUN THERMOMETER!

This little foam kit of pieces comes with a genuine glass thermometer, the theme comes with rainbow and sun-shaped bits, but there’s no reason to adhere to the instructions, you can make this a “disco” thermometer or a “sanitation engineer” thermometer, a “what’re yoo lookin’ at” thermometer… you get my drift. This is a very easy-breezy craft, if you’re looking to introduce a friend to CraftNight, this one’s a lovely introduction.

See you at the Craft Table!

JP Craft Captain

CraftNight’s Site

Akbar’s Site

This Wednesday, August 18th, 2010 from 9pm  until 12am (or later) at Akbar, it’s A VERY SPECIAL CRAFTNIGHT!!!

Time for the “HOT as HELLO HOW-YA-DOIN’ SQUARETIME HOP!”

$2 Processing fee please, and PLEASE TIP THE BAND if you DIG the tunes! If you’re feeling festive, wear some RED!

DELUXE CRAFT! – A 3-D lantern craft, complete with lil’ glowstick to light up your summer!

DELUXE DANCE! – Triple Chicken Foot playing LIVE music, with her excellence, Cory Marie Podielski calling/teaching you how to square dance!

DELUXE KRAUT! - Specializing in all things pickled and fermented, the AbdiKraut kitchen has produced tasty homemade products such as juniper and apple kraut, pickled tomatillos and other tangy delights. There will be samples, as well as an opportunity to purchase a pint or two while supplies last.

Hello, How Ya Doin? Is it HOT out here?

My oh my, are we keyed up, we’ve got Crafts, Square Dancing and Kraut, and of course, cocktails! If none of these activities are worth your time this week, I’m not sure I can help you. Seriously, if this doesn’t get you to come out and play, I should just expect to find you wearing sweats at the grocery store, or some such other sign that you’ve given up. DON’T GIVE UP! COME OUTSIDE! IT’S BEAUTIFUL! What’s summer for? Summer is for hot nonsense of the most important kind, it’s time to throw caution to the wind and grab some playtime. Please be bold and come see us this Wednesday, you will be so happy you did. We have $4 cosmo specials… just sayin.

You don’t need a partner to learn to square dance, Cory will take good care of you, arrive and learn, and you’ll be hopping in no time!

You don’t need an electrician’s license to make these adorable 3-D lanterns, they are square, and ever so fun, with lots of parts and accessories to engross you.

And as far as kraut goes… you don’t need to know fluent German to develop an insatiable lust for all things pickled and fermented, AbdiKraut will feed your interest, come and sample the goods! Take home a pint!

See you at the Craft Table,

JP Craft Captain

CraftNight Website

Akbar Website

This Wednesday, August 11th, 2010 from 9pm to 12 midnight (or later) at Akbar, it’s CRAFTNIGHT!!!

Project: Robot Photo Frames!  $2 Processing Fee, Please!

Dear Crafters, I shall be out of town this week, but I bring you CraftNight Lieutenant: X Killer! She’s an artist/entrepreneur/surfer hottie, and it’s her BIRTHDAY, so there will be Mellow Gold AM Tunes playing all night AND Robot Photo Frames!

Bring a photo of yourself,  your fish, your loved one, a photo of a celebrity, etc. because we’re makin’ ROBOT PHOTO FRAMES! Basically, you assemble the body of a robot, and there’s  hollow space for the head, in which you place a photo!

Have a good Robotic Time, and I’ll see you next week!

-JP Craft Captain

TONIGHT! Wednesday, August 4th, 2010 from 9pm – midnight at Akbar, it’s CRAFTNIGHT!!!

Project: (fake) Marshmallow Cowboys!!! $2 processing fee, please!

Who said bigotry was all the rage? PROP 8 BIT THE DUST TODAY!!!

Here are some places you can go to support today’s victory:

Los Angeles Prop 8 Rally (West Hollywood) 6pm – 8pm • West Hollywood Park 647 N San Vicente Blvd. West Hollywood, CA 90069

Latino Equality Alliance’s Community Prayer for Social Justice 8pm – 10pm • Olvera Street, Downtown Los Angeles

Events in Long Beach, Inland Empire, Palm Springs, SF, etc.

And, obviously, it doesn’t end here, we’ve got November coming up, and all that stuff, so roll up yer sleeves and get ready to defend some civil rights!

ON THAT NOTE:
We’re making cowboys. I thought they were cute. They are cute. They have this kind of weird “fake marshmallow” thing happening which I don’t quite understand, but am ready to embrace. I used to think it was kind of dumb, using “fake” marshmallows to make stuff, but I’m changing my tune. There’s a lot of room here, on the open craft plain it doesn’t HAVE to be a cowboy, it can be a COWGIRL, or you can change it to some dude rancher from Australia, or reverse the whole thing and take the pieces and make them into a hovercraft! Whatever you want to do, we’re here to make it happen.

Cowboys are so old-fashioned, and not perfect, but they sure do have good hats. The archetype of the cowboy’s rugged individualism (and screwed up Manifest Destiny that goes along with that) is deeply engrained in the American psyche. Again, like with the weird “fake marshmallow” craft thing, I’m not sure how poking and prodding cows from one end of the country to the other results in a higher moral consciousness, but like many things that make no sense at all, here we are. OG Cowboy code subscribes to being a good worker, being gentle with children, the elderly and animals, being a patriot, not advocating or possessing racially or religiously intolerant ideas… you can see how this code can be twirled into anyone’s ethical standards. Nobody ever seems to talk about how dirty cowboys really are, how they smell like BO and horse turds, how they have horrible manners and cheat at cards. The fallibility and courage of the cowboy is perhaps what makes cowboys so loveable. So tonight, come on in and make your dirty rotten scoundrel, hat and all. Perhaps  you can make him a little hay bale.

Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be cowboys, they’ll never stay home and they’re always alone, even with someone they love.

Cowboys ain’t easy to love and they’re harder to hold, and they’d rather give you a song than diamonds or gold, Lonestar belt buckles and old faded Levis

And each night begins a new day, and if you don’t understand him and he don’t die young, You’ll probably just ride away

-Willie Nelson

See you at the Craft Table!

JP Craft Captain

CraftNight’s Site

Akbar’s Site