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Category Archives: EZ Craft

Craftivism: Lady Liberty Makeover! • July 4th, 2018

TONIGHT!!!! Wednesday, July 4th, 2018 at Akbar ’round 9ish to midnight (or later) it’s CRAFTNIGHT! 
Project: CRAFTIVISM Statue o’ Liberty Lettahhhh 

*******$4 PABST/TECATES • $5 Cocktail Special, drink it up, live yo life!        
*********$3 suggested donation, please!

Can’t come to CraftNight? Doesn’t matter, you can download, print, color and SEND this craft from your very own home because it’s right HERE for you to download!

DOWNLOAD YOUR LIBERTY CRAFT

The statue of Liberty: She’s got a good message, she is in support of our best self, the country we’d like to be, the country that at best, is a place of innovation, experimentation and open-hearted goodwill and at worst, is a place of close-minded bigotry, avarice and cruel exploitation of people and resources.

Lately, it kinda seems like it’s the latter. 2,300 children separated from their parents, and all incarcerated parts and parcels of these families would probably have a lot to say about that. I’ve organized a THREE PART Craft for tonight that is designed for you to do a teensy tiny bit of activism (about ICE and Homeland Security and your tax dollars) while still having a bit of fun.

1.) Give Lady Liberty a Makeover… I put a t-shirt on her, you can give her any slogan you want, because how long has she been wearing that oversized bathrobe?!? OMG she needs help, poor girl. Give her a beard, give her some eyeshadow, make her look fabulous!

2.) Write a letter to your CA reps on the back, make it short, sweet, respectful, and clear. I put a sample script in there if you don’t know what to write. Currently, your tax dollars are going to the incarceration of families… do you approve of that? Feel free to extrapolate if you need to in your friendly letter.

3.) Give it to me to mail for you, so that you don’t have to drag your lazy ass to the post office. There. You’re done. You will have performed a democratic task, something we, as Americans, take for granted all the time.

I also addressed apathy, cynicism and self-defeating mulligrubs in the guide I made, because it’s EASY to let the noise tell you how to be a patriot. It’s easy for you to give them the flag of your country and decide it’s JUST for narrow-minded right-wing baby jailer skinheads. IT IS NOT. This country is a place for all kinds of people, the goddamn Statue of Liberty SAYS SO. Are we going to RETURN the Statue of Liberty to the French because we’re a bunch of namby pamby wishy washy lazyheads who can’t fight the big bad bigoted blowhards? I certainly hope not!

The stars and stripes are just as much mine as yours as theirs. We take a knee to our anthem and our pledge of allegiance because somehow, in the shuffle, someone forgot that calling stupid/bigoted laws into question is one of the most American, democratic things you can do. We take a knee because shit is WRONG. We are the watchdogs of this place we call home, and yes, it’s broken, it’s not perfect, there’s a lot of stuff wrong with it. But you have to transcend the apathetic viewpoint that America is “theirs” and you are not a patriot. Do not let others define the way you love your home. Standing up to bullshit is VERY American.

You ARE a patriot, and instead of deciding the other side is gross and they can just have all 50 states, TAKE THEM BACK. Get off your duff and MAKE SOME GODDAMN CHANGE. Do it with a feather boa, do it with your writing, your donating, your calling, your art, your courage, your leotard: whatever!!!!

Also… you can love America AND Greece, and Brazil, and whatever else country… you can be poly-country, you can be pro world. Loving your country doesn’t mean you only love one place! Start with a craft… start with a craft tonight.

See you at the Craft Table,

JP Craft Captain

Bet Yer Bottom BINGO JULY 15th at Akbar at 7:30PM it’s SUMMER LOVIN’ BINGOOOOOO!!! Take a chance on gambling, we’re the ones you wanna see!

 

Posted by on July 4, 2018 in Coloring Craft, EZ Craft

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Springtime PuffBall-n-Foam Creatures • April 25th, 2018

This Wednesday, April 25th, 2018 at Akbar it’s CRAFTNIGHT! 
Project: Spring Foam-n-Puffball Creatures

*******$4 PABST/TECATES • $5 Cocktail Special, everyday’s a holiday!         
*********$3 suggested donation, please! #ScrappyNonProfitThanksYou 

I’ve got some NEW varieties of Springtime creatures for you to assemble and decorate for this week! Some of them are ladybugs, some might be chickens, could be a caterpillar or a hare, I’m making sure we have a good variety of items so that you have the very best crack at all the crafting sundries available to you. Pop in and enjoy climate-controlled crafting with a cocktail! 

The temperature keeps doing weird things, and so does the air quality. This is how we do Spring in LA, a fickle fluctuation of hot or cold, windy or still, overcast or clear… and it’ll do that until we hopefully hit “June Gloom” which might arrive anywhere from May to June.

LA Springtime Tips: Don’t put away the fan, or the heater just yet. Keep your water close and your allergy meds closer, buy extra chapstick, neti-pot the hell out of your sinuses, get those tissues with lotion so your nose doesn’t fall off, wear layers and take a light jacket everywhere you go. It is warming up this week, according to the forecast, and pollen counts are not off the charts, but pretty decent, and tiny funky particles are kickin’ up and making the air kinda gross but not unlivable, which means, there’s fun stuff to do this weekend! 

Venture out for some Queer fun! The first, on Saturday, is an all-ages family event, and Grand Park never disappoints when it comes to fun! I’m performing in a line-up of GREAT PEOPLE! The second event I’ve listed here is a 21-and-over event, a fundraiser at the Eagle for Dyke Day! Come on out, have a brew, get some raffle tickets, get spanked, enjoy convening with friends to support our upcoming day in the park! Details below!

See you at the Craft Table,

JP Craft Captain


END OF APRIL FUN!     

APRIL 28th at GRAND PARK from 2pm to 3:30 your Craft Captain, JP, is in the Line-Up of presentations for OUR LA VOICES!   It’s a KID-friendly all ages jamboree!!! Miss Barbie Q – Host, D’Lo, Pip Lilly, Kacy Bushemi, Ofelia de Corazon, Steven Reigns, Alexandra Grey, Paul Outlaw, Odious Ari, Asher Yap, Robert Patrick, Julianna (JP)Parr, Billie White Acre WE MADE YOU A THING COME SEE!!!

APRIL 29th it’s the DYKE DAY FUNDRAISER at the EAGLE • $5 Door • Raffles • Prizes • DJ • Beer • BBQ • Friends More info here on FB Event 

 

Posted by on April 23, 2018 in Assembly Craft, EZ Craft

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TONIGHT! Snow Beings! • November 29th, 2017

TONIGHT! Wednesday, November 27th, 2017 at Akbar
9pm – midnight (or later) HAND TURKEYS with JP Craft Captain!
****Project: Snow BEINGS! (bobblehead photo holders) Top Hat, Carrot Nose, all of it!   

*****$3 Donation Please 
******$4 Drink specials! Akbar: The Gateway to Silverlake, and Great Cocktails! 

There are so many COOL WORDS for snow, none of them in English, take a look:

Tuyết – Vietnamese
Schnee – German
Baraf – Somali
Hukarere – Maori
Nix – Latin
Elurra – Basque
Xuě – Chinese (traditional)

I mean, snow’s just snow, over here in the USA. We don’t have lots of superlatives or renditions of this beautiful cold substance but we do have a penchant for singing a song about bringing snow to LIFE. It gets sung a LOT around this time of year. Remember Frosty? I’m sure you’ve heard that little ditty blurping out of some tinny ol’ department store speakers or maybe you’ve heard it in a coffee show by now, as we’re on the cusp of the December month.

I have a bunch of miniature wooden photo holder parts-n-pieces snow beings. I’m calling them “beings” because they aren’t alive yet. The aliveness will be awakened between you and your craft when you build it, then and only then when you bring it to fruition will we know your snow being’s name!

The head of this thing goes on a spring and bobbles around, it’s CUTE! The fashion choices are somewhat lacking, however, so I’ll have extra gems and felt on hand so that you can really gussy up an ensemble, should you deem it necessary. Give it away or exercise self-gifting this solstice!

See you at the Craft Table,

JP Craft Captain


DECEMBER IS COMING!  

DECEMBER 13th: Ye Olde CrafteNighte Crafte Faire! Come to Akbar and get a hot cider with whiskey, then make a vulva ornament with the Audre Lorde Health Center, then shop for presents made by local vendors and THEN take a short walk to CRUISE at the Eagle and drink more and shop more!

It’s all part of our little two bars, one night, extravaganza! Ye Olde CrafteNighte Crafte Faire FB Info 

 

BET YER BOTTOM BINGO!!!! December 17th • Akbar • 7pm to 10pm >>> FB LINK

 

 

Posted by on November 29, 2017 in EZ Craft, Scrapping/Coloring Craft

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TONIGHT! Self Defense/Hand Turkeys! • November 15th, 2017

TONIGHT! Wednesday, November 15th, 2017 at Akbar
7:45 – 8:45pm QUEER SELF DEFENSE w/Instructor, Cory Klink!
9pm – midnight (or later) HAND TURKEYS with JP Craft Captain!
****Project: HAND TURKEYS (Annual CraftNight Tradition)  

*****$3 Donation Please 
******$4 Drink specials! Akbar: Friends, Fun, Beverages! 

Tonight you can use your hands as weapons, and then, in the same night, use them to make TURKEYS!

Chances are, if you grew up in the continental united states or something like that… someone grabbed your kindergarten paws and taught you how to make a hand turkey. If you have never made a hand turkey, it’s really high time you made one. It is a simple creation, or it is as complicated as you decide to make it, but it’s just one of those crafts that stands the test of time. It’s a classic.

You can make a colorful turkey, a goth turkey, a pastels turkey, a hand drawn turkey, a day or night turkey, and then you can send it to a friend, or present it to relatives next week as a testament of your love and adoration for them. We won’t be doing crafts next week, due to Akbar’s annual dance party and food drive. This means if you’re hankering to craft, do it this week, and we’ll be back on November 29th with very much fun seasonal cozy crafty fun for you!

See you at the Craft Table,

JP Craft Captain


NOVEMBER FUN!  

TONIGHT! 7:45pm – QUEER SELF DEFENSE – FB EVENT DETAILS HERE
9pm – CraftNight HAND TURKEYS!

NOVEMBER 19th: SUNDAY 7pm @Akbar • Bet Yer Bottom Bingo Facebook Event Details HERE

NOVEMBER 22nd: NO CRAFTS! Akbar’s Annual Dance Party: PIE!!! Facebook Event Details HERE

 

Posted by on November 15, 2017 in EZ Craft, Scrapping/Coloring Craft

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Bus Craft! • May 3rd, 2017

This Wednesday, May 3rd, 2017 from 9pm until midnight (or later) it’s CRAFTNIGHT!!!
Project: Bus Craft!
$3 Donation Please 
$4 Drink specials! Akbar: Come Alive! You’re in the Akbar Generation! 

Ah, the joys of public transportation! We made Snail photoframe kits last week in an effort to slow things down, you know, like a snail. This week we’ll step up our pace and honor the BUS.

It’s a paper bus craft, I’ll have markers on hand so you can develop your own transit company, and I’ll have plenty of sparkles and crafty bits you can use to decorate your ride.

Some of you really don’t love the bus, and yeah, the bus is not always fabulous. But that’s kind of why the bus rocks. Traveling by bus is traveling with an “open sensibility” in that you’ve just got to know that just about anything can happen. There’s no controlling farts, people grooming themselves, people talking out of their faces to themselves or others or who knows, people sometimes have their headphones or even their speakerphones turned up intolerably loud.

Undeniably, when you’re on the bus, it’s all about “us” and not about you. Because you’re carpooling, you’re contributing to cleaner emissions, it’s even safer on a bus than being in a car. You’re helping stop pollution and making the city more walkable and bikable, and you’re part of the city’s mood, the pulse of our together-lifeforce. It’s a civic-minded way to get from one place to the other. Our city isn’t getting smaller or less congested, public transportation is the future, so let’s start by appreciating our BUSES and our BUS DRIVERS!!!!

See you at the Craft Table,

JP Craft Captain


UPCOMING CRAFTS, ETC.

May 10th – Ship Craft! Saiiiiiiilin’ takes me awayyyyy to where I’m goin….

May 17th – Paint-Yer-Own Flower Pot!

May 24th -TBA

May 19th – Bet Yer Bottom Bingo!!! 8pm – 10pm • 6 Games • Boys, Girls, Balls, FTW!!!!  

May 31st – TBA

 

Posted by on May 2, 2017 in EZ Craft

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